As you can see (above) The Mistress is too busy playing hostess to keep tabs on what's happening at the Infomaniac Christmas Party.
Please fill me in about what's going on. Photos have been numbered, if that helps.
Photo #1...
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Photo #2...
Be sure to click pic to enlarge!!!
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Photo #3...
Photo #4...
Photo #5...
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Photo #6...
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Photo #7...
Photo #8...
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Photo #9...
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Photo #10...
Enjoy yourselves, Bitches. We're partying all weekend.
Am I early? No, well anyway, I brought your present but the lady next to me on the bus sat on it and after her exhaustive discussion about incontinence pads, I thought it best to give it to a dog outside, but he didn't want it so here it is, which explains picture 1.
ReplyDelete2 was gone when I got there. I suspect Jon.
3 Still waiting on my fucking Mai Tai.
4 The mistress and her Famous Danse of the Not Enough Tree and Too Much Egg Nog
Several of these I might have missed in the frenzy of the moment, but I cherish Nbr. 10, me sharing a quiet moment with Muscato.
Bon noel Bitches.
PEENEE: Why didn’t you bring some of those incontinence pads to sop up the excess gravy?
DeleteAs for #3…What have we told you about not wearing white after Labour Day?
#2 is done and basted now, Peenee... Jx
DeleteJON: #2 is basted … and Peenee is wasted.
Delete#1 - Who invited BEAST?!? And I hope that's not the infamous chick-pea curry he's brought?
ReplyDelete#2 - I'm not eating that! It's been ruined by shoving a sprig of coriander (cilantro) up its bum, and I can't stand that soapy taste!
#3 - The tree-topping fairy is taking a well earned rest with half a pint of cooking sherry.
#4 - Oh, dear. It looks like Ms Scarlet has been at the tree-topping fairy's sherry...
#5 - Ah. Preparing themselves for an invasion of ill-behaved grandchildren.
#6 - Mitzi's maid-of-all-work, Carmen, attempts to revive her mistress after she discovered that the party had run out of Babycham.
#7 - So that's where all the Babychams went.
#8 - It's a shame he won't remember what happened the night before when he wakes up the next afternoon. His open fly will only confound the mystery...
#9 - Despite sleeping off a whole Christmas pudding, Norma's pussy is still alert for possible action.
#10 - Mistress Maddie has just spotted that the gincuzzi is open, and wonders why she's been wasting time with mere bottles of gin.
Fab party, Very Mistress! If I survive, I'll certainly endorse your next one. Just tell your chef to omit the coriander next time.
MR. DeVICE: Please tell me that’s not Beast’s chick pea curry. Our gastrointestinal systems can’t handle another disturbance.
DeleteDo you remember Eros’ I Hate Cilantro post? He’ll be livid.
#9 perplexes me. After all, LX has a Siamese cat. Yet you say it’s Norma’s pussy. I guess that pussy really gets around.
I thought that turkey smelled funny! Thank goodness there were side dishes and lots of booze. I quite enjoyed the festivities and the softness of the carpet as evidenced by pic 7. It was one of the few clean spots left unclaimed and unsullied. Great party.
DeleteEROS: I finally pulled out the shag carpeting.
DeleteToo many of you complained of carpet burns.
8. I'm in my happy place after the Eggnog and Stollen.
ReplyDeleteLX: I see you couldn’t be bothered to zip.
DeleteSave room for the Traditional Cranberries dish.
I'm just wondering why Peenees fly is open already.....and you my dear outdid yourself on the Trump roast this year.
ReplyDeleteAnd what,has Norma brought with her?
MISTRESS MADDIE: Mind the Trump roast.
DeleteYou may have to pick a few orange hairs out of it.
Poor mistressa, ribbons
ReplyDeletehave always confounded her.
NORMA: I can’t hear you over your caterwauling pussy.
DeleteWe’ll need to feed the dusty old thing.
DeleteHAYWARD: Better you than me.
DeleteI'm not going anywhere near it.
#1 Who's that wheezing up the garden path? Oh, it's Princess bringing a turkey, I hope she remembered to take out the giblets.
ReplyDelete#2 Save me the Parson's nose Mr DeVice.
It's a bit quiet in here, let's get the party started. Scarlet stop toying with your pussy and put the The Dooleys on.
#10 Don't give Dinah anymore to drink, she's maudlin.
MITZI: If that is The Dooleys “at their peak” I don’t want to see them when they’re all washed up.
DeleteTheir music is almost making me miss Tina Charles. I said ALMOST.
You think that's bad - try this. The Dooleys never really had a "peak". Jx
DeleteJON: If that is “UK Gold,” I don’t want to see silver.
DeleteAwwww.... Carmen trying to revive Mitzi in #6.... although not Babysham related as Mr Devine suggests. Her knicker elastic snapped whilst she was performing an overenthusiastic version of the Can-Can, her knickers slipped to her knees causing her to slump to the floor like a big bag of spuds.
ReplyDelete#10 Definitely Dinah and Mr Devine having a drinking competition. I think Dinah is winning.
#7 Looks like Mr Mags, and #8 is Mr Lax hoping to get lucky.
Sx
MISS SCARLET: I suspect part of Mitzi’s problem was getting her knicker elastic stuck in #8’s open zipper.
DeleteDid you notice that Mr. Mags (#7) is wearing loafers?
I see my mistress , as evidenced in 6 has hit the deck. Could someone unzip her and put her to bed. Off to mingle........
ReplyDeleteMS. MOORECOCK: Mistress Maddie is another victim of The Gincuzzi.
DeleteI thought she could hold her liquor better than that.
I can't tell if that turkey's been stuffed?
ReplyDeleteNORMA: I won’t stop you from reaching in to find out.
DeleteWait a minute, are these still photos from the set of, "The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover?"
ReplyDeleteNORMA: Possibly. Now stick a fork in it to see if it’s done.
DeleteOh norma......a excellent movie. Odd but excellent
DeleteMISTRESS MADDIE: “Odd but excellent” … just like Norma, herself.
DeleteMeanwhile - who took the photos?? I had the Polaroid camera in the oubliette.
ReplyDeleteDAMIEN: Start snapping pics so we can show the aftermath evidence on Monday.
DeleteSorry Mistress. I have only just woken up after all the... umm.... free beverages.
DeleteDAMIEN: Not to worry.
DeleteWe’ve been stepping over and around you all this time.
What a lovely and festive party. I especially love the roasted bunk. But how much libation did the Mistress half? I see the roast looks DELISH.
ReplyDeleteMIDNIGHT MAGPIE: How much libation did the Mistress have? Are you referring to me or to Mistress Maddie?
DeleteMistress Maddie is too far gone to ask, at this point and she’s not one to tell, anyway. Kiss and tell, yes but she won’t divulge her alcoholic intake.
Come on MrPeenee put your cock away and put your Nye Bevan's back in, it's time for our karaoke duet
ReplyDeleteMITZI: Cinderella Rockafella … GAH!!!
DeleteYou Bitches are killing me.
Stuck in my head for the rest of day singing, ♫I’m the lady, the lady whoooo♫
p.s. Someone is going to have to explain “Nye Bevan’s” to me.
Free NHS dentures from the 1950s one size fits all and they would often make the wearer look a bit rabbity. My granddad wore a pair, he kept them in a 1977 jubilee mug, he used to whistle and talk at the same time, I can still hear him now saying 'Schhauschhage schhandwichh pleaschh Jeschhie'. we would howl!
Delete♫ I love your jazz
Razzamatazz...
My big Karaoke hit is always "holding out for a hero" by Bonnie Tyler. People weep.
DeleteMITZI & PEENEE: Now I’m picturing Ken Dodd.
DeleteAnd stuck with “Cinderella Rockafella” AND “Holding Out for a Hero” on rotation.
Another infamous Christmas party.
ReplyDeleteJEFFERY: Once a year you must endure… like taxes.
Delete1) Norma arrives with his famous Swanson Frozen Turkey and instant potato casserole. Picture 8) Cookie, me, sick to my stomach after eating Norma's casserole.
ReplyDeleteCOOKIE: Norma’s meat smells off-putting.
DeleteThat should have tipped you off not to put it in your mouth.
wait, hold on, it's sunday and why am i under the table? WTF was in that eggnog? xoxox
ReplyDeleteSAVANNAH: This is practice for our upcoming New Year’s Eve / your birthday celebration.
DeleteSOrry, under the weather *cough*, better wear protection. *SNIRF*
ReplyDeleteCarry on !
MAGO: You poor thing.
DeleteThat explains why you’re passed out under the Christmas tree.
*doesn’t mention empty bottles*