Sunday, June 15, 2014

Stuff Dads Teach You

Armpit farts, amongst other things.



[via]

For those of you who have not mastered this skill, there are dozens of video tutorials at your disposal. Google it yourselves, Bitches.

What did your dads teach you?
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32 comments:

  1. Jon DeepBlue9:11 PM, June 14, 2014

    First!

    ReplyDelete
  2. mrpeenee9:11 PM, June 14, 2014

    When the power goes out, even the cheapest scotch taste better than any gin without ice.

    Firstliest.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jon DeepBlue9:11 PM, June 14, 2014

    All have to think about this one...

    ReplyDelete
  4. The Cool Cookie11:08 PM, June 14, 2014

    Actually, nothing. He never permitted ballet in his operas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress6:22 PM, June 15, 2014

      COOKIE: What a shame.

      Your grand jeté is the stuff of legend.

      Delete
  5. Mistress Maddie12:11 AM, June 15, 2014

    Arm farts? He taught me the real kind! And the art of how to have sex with girls. Unfortunately I wasn't paying much attention.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress6:23 PM, June 15, 2014

      MISTRESS MADDIE: Did he teach you the ole “pull my finger” trick?

      Delete
  6. normadesmond12:30 AM, June 15, 2014

    dad taught me what an asshole is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress6:23 PM, June 15, 2014

      NORMA: Then you’ll be glad to know that Father’s Day is drawing to a close.

      Delete
    2. normadesmond8:35 PM, June 15, 2014

      actually, father's day is just fine now. he did the best thing he ever could've done, he died!

      i love a happy ending.

      Delete
    3. The Mistress9:28 PM, June 15, 2014

      NORMA: Who said anything about a massage?

      Delete
  7. Inexplicable DeVice3:20 AM, June 15, 2014

    Table-tennis and how to make concrete. And neither are hideous euphemisms for anything else, thankfully.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CyberPete5:46 AM, June 15, 2014

      Have you had much use for your concrete making skills?

      Delete
    2. Inexplicable DeVice7:09 AM, June 15, 2014

      You obviously don't remember this, do you? All those Krug bubbles must have gone to your brain, 'Petra.

      Delete
    3. CyberPete3:32 PM, June 15, 2014

      Oh YES! Paysho!!!

      We really should be sipping Krug on that paysho

      Delete
    4. The Mistress6:23 PM, June 15, 2014

      MR. DeVICE: Is your next project a concrete table tennis table?

      Delete
    5. CyberPete7:19 PM, June 15, 2014

      I vote for a swimming pool. One in which we can float and sip Krug

      Delete
  8. CyberPete5:45 AM, June 15, 2014

    My father never taught me these things but a friend from schools father once took me camping.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jon DeepBlue7:26 AM, June 15, 2014

      Details. Details, Details.

      Delete
    2. CyberPete3:36 PM, June 15, 2014

      But he told me that what happens in this tent by the lake stays in this tent by the lake.

      Delete
    3. The Mistress6:24 PM, June 15, 2014

      CYBERPETE: Camping?

      You’ve been camp all your life!

      Delete
    4. CyberPete7:17 PM, June 15, 2014

      I was young and didn't know any better.

      Camping life wasn't for me. Camp life was however.

      Delete
  9. Jon DeepBlue7:25 AM, June 15, 2014

    I'm still thinkin'.

    ReplyDelete
  10. designing wally9:02 AM, June 15, 2014

    My father, the man of a million maxims...

    "You're in trouble when you fall in love with the sound of your own voice"
    "Don't bend over, then you won't get screwed"
    "pick your nose and roll boogers"
    but the biggest one that has stayed with me and has helped: "Press on Regardless".

    ReplyDelete
  11. Mitzi 9:03 AM, June 15, 2014

    My daddy taught me how to play Neko Funjatta on the piano forte, how to blow an egg from it's shell and he showed me how to blow bubbles in the bath by smearing my gob with shampoo, they was a lot of blowing going on.

    It was MJ who taught me how to embed a link in a comment box.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Jon DeepBlue3:58 PM, June 15, 2014

    Still thinking.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mistress6:25 PM, June 15, 2014

      HUGGY JON: Would it help if I tossed you a banana?

      Delete

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