Thursday, June 05, 2014

Perv of the Day

When asked if the cucumber offender appeared threatening to the staff or patrons, a police officer said he wasn’t sure if there was any threat.



“I don’t think he had any free hands to make any threat,” the officer said.

Story here.

28 comments:

  1. I came back from Newport for this? Can't you serve cucumber sandwiches the traditional way?

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    Replies
    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: Doesn’t this classify as “finger food?”

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  2. "Police officer said he wasn’t sure if there was any threat."

    What about all those poor fruits and vegetables? I'm sure they were terrified. Who knows the ordinary objects we come in contact with on a daily basis that have previously been up this guys ass.

    *checks stock prices on Purell

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  3. Should this happen in our library he could be sure to have the cucumber inserted mit Schmackes before he's kicked out.

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    Replies
    1. MAGO: Mit Schmackes and a side order of Cheese Crack.

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  4. Given the décor, I'm thinking there are Avocado or Harvest Gold appliances in the kitchen and laundry!

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    Replies
    1. LX: And a shag rake.

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    2. I was offended by the upholstery myself.

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    3. PEENEE: Plastic covers would be an improvement and it’s rare you hear me say THAT.

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  5. I just read this on an online newspaper. Nothing like this happens at my library! We have to watch out for the old guys looking at 'dating' sites.

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    1. CANADIAN GIRL: Be thankful you’re not in Cleveland.

      As for those old guys, they’re probably using our Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service.

      Delete
  6. kabuki keeps the cukes in the fridge. just an old fashioned kabuki am kabuki

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    Replies
    1. kabuki: Rumour has it that you keep your panties in the ice box.

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  7. Replies
    1. JON: I'd like to see this brought back for the 2015 Eurovision Song Contest .

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    2. "Where's me washboard?" Jx

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    3. JON: Are you sitting on it, Madam?

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    4. "I've seen you go red as a CUCUMBER"

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  8. pleased to see he's using a finer, english cuke.

    they're burpless.

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    Replies
    1. NORMA: We’re not concerned what’s coming out from THAT end.

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  9. Replies
    1. MITZI: Beast once chased me with a marrow after I’d waved a courgette at him in a menacing manner.

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    2. sadly i must report that i know someone who named their corgi, courgette.

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    3. NORMA: Better "Courgette" than "Zucchini."

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  10. Cruelty to cucumbers should be outlawed.

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    Replies
    1. FANNY LOVE: Down with that sort of thing.

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