Thursday, December 22, 2011

The Candy Man

[via Zenfancy]

Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew
Cover it with choc'late and a miracle or two
The Candy Man, oh the Candy Man can
The Candy Man can 'cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good

28 comments:

  1. First?

    Really?

    First dibs on the candy cane.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Couldn't you just do a post as adorable as Norma for Christmas...

    at least once????

    *grabs the bottle of whisky and crawls under the sofa*

    ReplyDelete
  3. You can even eat the dishes!!!

    The dishes.....

    *returns to enjoying double-rye & coke...*

    ReplyDelete
  4. You know, I wondered how my one dates got that fresh peppermint flavor back there. Now I know. Merry Christmas honey!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You know how you keep posting up weenis and botty pictures of people I think I know?

    Yeah.

    My ex-husband.

    I am serious as a heart attack.

    One doesn't forget a rear view like that soon; peroxide blonde ass hair, ringletted microsack, large pink rubber fist hanging out the butthole and all.

    Or wait, thats a candy cane! Never mind.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Who can take a butt plug,
    sprinkle it with poo...

    ReplyDelete
  7. why didn't we know how fabulous a lyricist thom is?

    ReplyDelete
  8. if sammy davis were alive and saw this,
    his good eye would pop out.

    ReplyDelete
  9. and now i'm thinking about that other eye,
    still shiny, staring at the closed lid.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Now.... that is Quite the Christmas spirit...

    ReplyDelete
  11. kabuki personally avoids miximg sweets with sex. Like gilding a lily, some things need no further adornment. Of course, not everyone has sex as tastefully as kabuki does, and it makes kabuki weep, it really does.

    ReplyDelete
  12. How do you know that this is candy??? How do you know that it's not an umbrella handle????
    Hmmmmm????
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  13. AYEM8Y: First?
    Really?
    First dibs on the candy cane.


    Suck it, sweetheart.

    DEEP BLUE JON: Couldn't you just do a post as adorable as Norma for Christmas...
    at least once????
    *grabs the bottle of whisky and crawls under the sofa*


    Norma has the market cornered on cuteness.

    None of us can compete.

    Encore une chose…Regardes par la fenêtre, mon cher….

    Un Noël blanc!

    WALLY: You can even eat the dishes!!!
    The dishes.....
    *returns to enjoying double-rye & coke...*


    Sing along with The Andrews Sisters.

    MISTRESS MADDIE: You know, I wondered how my one dates got that fresh peppermint flavor back there. Now I know. Merry Christmas honey!

    Or perhaps they get that minty fresh flavor from Sphincterine!

    Merry Christmas! It’s a pleasure to have you here as our newest Infomaniac Bitch.

    NATIONS: You know how you keep posting up weenis and botty pictures of people I think I know?
    Yeah.
    My ex-husband.
    I am serious as a heart attack.
    One doesn't forget a rear view like that soon; peroxide blonde ass hair, ringletted microsack, large pink rubber fist hanging out the butthole and all.
    Or wait, thats a candy cane! Never mind.


    Let’s settle this once and for all.

    You send me photos of all your lookalike exes and kinfolk and I’ll post them side-by-side with the Infomaniac photo collection and we’ll let our readers be the judges.

    THOMBEAU & NORMADESMOND: You Bitches slay me! SLAY me, I say!!!

    PRINCESS: Now.... that is Quite the Christmas spirit...

    As opposed to Wally’s Christmas spirit(s) of choice…rum and coke.

    Isn’t it nice to know that there’s something for everyone?

    KABUKI: kabuki personally avoids miximg sweets with sex. Like gilding a lily, some things need no further adornment. Of course, not everyone has sex as tastefully as kabuki does, and it makes kabuki weep, it really does.

    Kabuki could be the angel topping my tree.

    If you were the sort that tops, that is.

    SCARLET: How do you know that this is candy??? How do you know that it's not an umbrella handle????
    Hmmmmm????


    Because it’s not raining, Miss Scarlet.

    I don’t have a photo but “umbrella handle” is mentioned in my list of “objects found up arses” on my Shove It Up Yer Arse post.

    ReplyDelete
  14. *crawls out from underneath the sofa and looks outside*

    YAY! WET SNOW!

    Perfect to make HORNY SNOWMAN

    ReplyDelete
  15. Jon: Encore une chose…un petit cadeau à t'offrir.

    Teehee.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Yep ! You can ALWAYS count on MJ to be correctly festive for any occasion.

    Merry XmASS, DAMNIT.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Heff's comment made me spit out my coffee. The picture nearly made me spit up.

    does that burn?

    Merry Christmas to you MJ and to everyone at Infomaniac.

    Make sure to tip your houseboys properly. xoxox

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hat's off to Thombeau:

    Who could take big fist (Who could take big fist)

    Lube it up with goo (Lube it up with goo)

    Stretch you hole, and pull out, all cover with poo

    The Thombeau Man (The Thombeau Man )
    Oh, the Thombeau Man can (The Thombeau Man can)

    The Thombeau Man can
    'Cause he mixes it with elbow grease and Alboline
    And he makes world feel good
    (Makes the world feel good)

    ReplyDelete
  19. I want to thank all of you for a very merry holiday and a huge laugh! MJ, really you are a highlight to my day. Normadesmond and the Sammy Davis good eye comment and Scarlett and the umbrella...folks you are killing me!

    ReplyDelete
  20. If you say the Candyman's name five times, he will cum.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wishing you (and umbrella boy) the best Christmas ever.

    ReplyDelete
  22. So, Cool Cookie's been hittin' the eggnog again, I see. All the better to make the Yuletide gay!

    For the record, my fisting days are behind me.

    ReplyDelete
  23. HEFF: Yep ! You can ALWAYS count on MJ to be correctly festive for any occasion.
    Merry XmASS, DAMNIT.


    Look what you’ve done to Boxer!

    BOXER: Heff's comment made me spit out my coffee. The picture nearly made me spit up.
    does that burn?
    Merry Christmas to you MJ and to everyone at Infomaniac.
    Make sure to tip your houseboys properly. xoxox


    You KNOW how I feel about leaving bodily fluids on my blog.

    Clean it up and a Merry Christmas to you.

    COOKIE: Hat's off to Thombeau:
    Who could take big fist (Who could take big fist)
    Lube it up with goo (Lube it up with goo)
    Stretch you hole, and pull out, all cover with poo
    The Thombeau Man (The Thombeau Man )
    Oh, the Thombeau Man can (The Thombeau Man can)
    The Thombeau Man can
    'Cause he mixes it with elbow grease and Alboline
    And he makes world feel good
    (Makes the world feel good)


    If Mistress MJ were tossed into a room with you and Thom and Norma, she’d be carted off in a straightjacket in a matter of minutes.

    And I mean that in a good way.

    KELLY RED: I want to thank all of you for a very merry holiday and a huge laugh! MJ, really you are a highlight to my day. Normadesmond and the Sammy Davis good eye comment and Scarlett and the umbrella...folks you are killing me!

    It’s you Bitches with your comments that REALLY make this blog.

    KAPI: If you say the Candyman's name five times, he will cum.

    I dare you.

    LX: Wishing you (and umbrella boy) the best Christmas ever.

    Ein frohes Fest! to the "Official Infomaniac Pillow Fluffer" and "Personal IT Consultant to Mistress MJ."

    THOMBEAU: So, Cool Cookie's been hittin' the eggnog again, I see. All the better to make the Yuletide gay!
    For the record, my fisting days are behind me.


    “Behind” you…ha!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh ... that is just ..... oh .... that reminds me, I am probably due to get my first prostate exam soon.

    ReplyDelete
  25. EPIC FAIL: Oh ... that is just ..... oh .... that reminds me, I am probably due to get my first prostate exam soon.

    Let Mistress MJ take care of that for you.

    ReplyDelete
  26. MICHAEL GUY: apparently the Candy Man can...

    Satisfying and delicious.

    ReplyDelete