Filthy Friday – Royal Wedding Edition

Prince William and the Royal Wenis...

[via]

And as a bonus…

Prince Harry's hard-on...

Have YOU Got What it Takes?

Have you got what it takes to win our Gorgeous Gams Competition?

[via]

For details on how to enter, click here.

Gorgeous Gams Competition

[photo by Philippe Halsman]

Welcome to our Gorgeous Gams Competition!

Here’s your chance to show off your lovely legs to the world.

Got your cameras ready?

Send Mistress MJ a snapshot of your legs (email address is in my Blogger Profile).

Ideally, the photo will show off the shape of your legs but if you’re shy, you can cover up your legs.

Here are some ideas for those of you who don’t dare to bare your legs…

See what you can find in the kitchen…

[via]


Get out your Bejeweler!...

Pull together a look from those clothes in the back of your closet…

Remember, this is not strictly a beauty contest for the guy or gal with the best legs.

Categories of judging include the following:

Shapliest legs

Hairest legs

Most Creative Leg Coverings

Funniest Pose

Sexiest Legs (i.e. Legs you’d most like wrapped around your neck or legs you’d like to have kneeling in front of you or legs you’d like to kneel in front of...you know what I'm sayin')

DEADLINE: Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011.

UPDATE: Please include a little blurb about your photo when you send it.

Contest Consultation

By now you've deduced that we’ll soon be holding our “Gorgeous Gams” competition in which you Infomaniac Bitches will be displaying your legs.

Of course none of you stands a chance against these lovely legs…

… therefore Mistress MJ will graciously step aside.

But before you get snap-happy with your cameras, I must consult with you.

[via]

This is not strictly a beauty contest for the guy or gal with the best legs.

We realize that not all of you are gifted in the gams department. Or perhaps you’re just shy.

So we’d like to divide the contest into categories.

And that’s where you bitches come in.

What are some of the categories you’d like to see in this competition?

Shapliest legs?
Hairest legs?
Most Creative Leg Coverings?
Funniest Leg Pose?
Legs You’d Most Like to See Wrapped Around Your Neck?

You tell me.

[via]

NOTE: Don’t start sending in your photos yet. We’ll post details of the competition in another post soon. But we can tell you that you may wear tights or trousers or whatever leg coverings you wish if you don’t want to expose your bare legs.

Contest – Coming Soon

Bitches, start your Epiladies!

Details to follow.

Happy Easter, Bitches!

[via]

And “Chag Sameach” to our Jewish readers!

While the rest of us are enjoying our Easter egg hunt, we hope you’ll enjoy a pleasant day playing with these finger puppets…

Blood, Frogs, Gnats, Wild Animals, Pestilence, Boils, Hail, Locusts, Darkness, and the Angel of Death ... aka The Ten Plagues.

Saturday Night

[via]

Another Saturday night swings into action here on Infomaniac.

Happy St. George’s Day

Happy St. George’s Day to all our Infomaniac Bitches in England!

Cake, anyone?...

Let the Morris Dancing begin…

Our dear KAZ once said…

We have a well known saying in England - "You should try everything in life at least once - with the possible exception of incest and Morris dancing."

We here at Infomaniac are curious as to whether any of you (whatever your nationality) have actually had a go at Morris Dancing.

Or, for that matter, if any of you have ever actually done anything to celebrate England’s (apparently forgotten) patron saint.

Filthy Good Friday

[via]

Winner of the Fave Shoes Photo Competition!

Congratulations to Kelly Red and her pretty Pradas…

(click photo for maximum footwear fabulosity)

Kelly says, “I saw these shoes and fell in love, I think they are the most beautiful shoes I've ever seen: Prada Obi mule, circa 2001. I came home and told my husband about them, but they were too expensive. 3 days later he comes home with a present and inside were the shoes! I say thank you thank you, but I don't really live the lifestyle to justify wearing these shoes! He says, wear them just for me. So there you go, beautiful shoes that have never gone public, but they have gone to a party! :D”

Kelly, you win a copy of “My Favorite Shoes: True Stories from Around the World”…

What they’re saying about Kelly Red’s shoes…

But then I scrolled further and discovered the couture-like obi-ness of Kelly Red's heels. I gasped, clutched at my pearls and fainted dead-away. She's got my first prize vote!
-Michael Guy

kelly red has the best F.... me shoes there...hands down...gets my vote...
-Mermaid Gallery

I want to borrow them for next Halloween; hope they're size 11C.
-TB

Prada is made for only one thing....CHEATIN'
-Wally

Gorgeous shoes on that girl! Hot!
-CyberPete

I'm terribly jealous of Kelly Red's extremely beautiful Prada's.
-Jill

Shoes like that, I'd throw a party just to wear them!
-Roses

And congratulations to AyeM8y, Mitzi and Mago who all TIED for First Runner-Up:

AYEM8Y:

I bought these 60's silver glitter pumps with a Lucite heel way back in 1983. And I can still fit into them. I like to wear them with my sarong for special occasions like pool parties, personal appearances, backyard barbecues, operas, orgies, weddings and graduations.


MITZI:

MAGO:

Nice colourful footwear. Made more than thirty years ago by my mother, using remains of a jeans I wore in school once. And of course inked them. Actually these are socks. The soles were made from strong ropes, knotted or tied in a kind of frame. On this the jeans textile stuff was put. Into this was put in a knitted sock patted with wooly stuff. These kind of socks were used by children, sometimes grown ups too, in wooden shoes. Or, if the sole was made from straw and thus stronger, larger and higher, they were worn outside the house. The small sole from rope is good for inside the house. A bit like espadrillas, Franconian edition. I should get rid of them, but still can't.

A huge thank you to EVERYONE who participated in our Fave Shoes Photo Competition.

You’re ALL fabulous!

Shoe Votes

UPDATE: Voting is now closed on this competition. Stand by for a new post.

Have you voted yet for your fave pair of shoes?

A reminder that the voting booth closes Thursday, April 21st at 9:00 am EDT.

[via Soyons-Suave]

At that time, Mistress MJ will begin tabulating the votes (as seen above) and a winner will be declared and posted later in the day.

If you’ve already voted, thank you!

If not, click on the previous post and submit your vote in the comments box.

Choose Your Fave Shoes!

It’s time to vote for YOUR favourite pair of shoes here at the Fave Shoes Photo Competition.

Many of these photos can be clicked to enlarge.

Be sure to read the stories that go with the shoes, underneath each photo.

HAYWARD:

What do I look for in a shoe? Endurance.
This hard-working pair from Frederick's of Hollywood is a must have for the lady with an active lifestyle. Here they are in full action and the heel did not break. Not even in the sweltering heat of a New Orleans summer. Pussy Pink sells out fast so I was lucky to get my hands on these.


BOXER:

My rubber cowboys boots are perfect for the rain soaked Pacific Northwest. I bought these in Blue Ridge, GA during Blog Fest 2010 and did not have room in carry on to haul these home, but I’m glad I did.


MITZI:

(click to read)


NURSEMYRA:

I saw these boots and a matching corset at an auction a few years back, put in an absentee bid but it wasn't enough and they got passed in. Went back the following week and they had been moved to the "sale" section so I bought them for $5.00 less than my original bid. I can't walk around in them for long and if I wear the corset I can't sit down at all so they're destined never to be seen together.


NORMADESMOND:

For a brief and fleeting moment, norma got a bit edgy back in the 1980s. Disco and it's prettiness made the way for the darker, sinister new wave/punk trend. of course, that all became as pretty as disco. The name of the store is lost in a sea that was once called memory, but it was at the corner of Newbury and Gloucester Streets in Boston. These cockroach killers can get into any corner or all the way up someone's ass, if need be.


MISS SCARLET:

Crikey... now I feel like I'm a contortionist!
Anyhow, these are my favourite boots. They are not designer and possibly not that special, but they have been worn for several pantomimes. They are very good pantomime boots. I wore them when I starred as Humpty Dumpty and I also wore them when I was a pirate hag called Freda. They are 6 years old and have many happy memories attached to them... I even wore them to Cafe C at New Year. They are black suede kitten heeled... and I can run very fast in them. I am not good in very high heels as I tend to fall over.


MAGO:

Nice colourful footwear. Made more than thirty years ago by my mother, using remains of a jeans I wore in school once. And of course inked them. Actually these are socks. The soles were made from strong ropes, knotted or tied in a kind of frame. On this the jeans textile stuff was put. Into this was put in a knitted sock patted with wooly stuff. These kind of socks were used by children, sometimes grown ups too, in wooden shoes. Or, if the sole was made from straw and thus stronger, larger and higher, they were worn outside the house. The small sole from rope is good for inside the house. A bit like espadrillas, Franconian edition. I should get rid of them, but still can't.


WALLY:

I really don't wear any shoes, I am a wee bit infamous for it... (much like Isadora Duncan)
When I am not barefoot I wear leather slaps (what yankees call flip-flops, even though flip-flops are just a cheap rubber American variety of tongs (slaps.))
Wolverine work-boots, stinky gardening sneakers, or Cs
I sent along a picture of my dress boots, I keep them in the parlor, up high, on display...
I only ever wear them for weddings and funerals...
But seeing as how I cannot be wedded in the country of my birth & blood; I do not attend weddings....
I seldom need to attend funerals as I generally know when a person is going to die soon; I prefer to spend time with those when they still have breath...
So, there my dress shoes sit, up high, on a gilded shelf, in the red room, hoping never to be donned, ever again.


UTE:

These are the my faves atm. A pair called, "Runway". Luckily, I have yet to fall arse over tit in them. But there is still time. $50.00. Can you believe it?!


JILL:

After tightening the purse straps, these were the last pair of expensive shoes I've purchased...last year actually. March or May 2010. San Antonio, for the Mrs Texas pageant...no, I wasn't in it. First Neimans I'd seen since moving out to the desert. I went hog-wild. Snapped these up in less than 5 minutes and now I wear them everywhere, with everything.


XL:

These are my LL Bean Boots. Comfortable. Waterproof. Warm. Ugly.Most often worn in the happy coincidence of attending rainy football games in the Fall.


KELLY RED:

I saw these shoes and fell in love, I think they are the most beautiful shoes I've ever seen: Prada Obi mule, circa 2001. I came home and told my husband about them, but they were too expensive. 3 days later he comes home with a present and inside were the shoes! I say thank you thank you, but I don't really live the lifestyle to justify wearing these shoes! He says, wear them just for me. So there you go, beautiful shoes that have never gone public, but they have gone to a party! :D


CYBERPETE:

These are a recent purchase because I need something airy for the summer. They are strappy wedges and they were on sale. They don't have the same memories as the pink pumps I wore for the Freakin Green Elf Shorts competition but they are quite comfortable and I rarely do comfy. Could run a marathon in these (if I was able to run a marathon that is). I wish I could afford Louboutin and Blahnik but until then..


ROSES:

I've been looking for a pair like these for over 2 years, when I saw them it was love at first sight.Funnily enough, when I wear them to work, I don't get any shit from the guys. They are suddenly very obedient. I wonder why? hmmm....


AYEM8Y (MEAN DIRTY PIRATE):

I bought these 60's silver glitter pumps with a Lucite heel way back in 1983. And I can still fit into them. I like to wear them with my sarong for special occasions like pool parties, personal appearances, backyard barbecues, operas, orgies, weddings and graduations.


That’s it, Bitches!

You vote and we’ll tally up the results in a new post later this week.

NOTE: The voting deadline is THURSDAY, APRIL 21 at 9 am EDT.

(If you’re in the UK, that’s 2:00 pm on Thursday.)

The rest of you can use the World Clock to figure out your deadline.

Waiting Room

[via Zenfancy]

Please take a seat in our waiting room until the Fave Shoes Photo Competition pics are ready.

Passover

Happy Passover to our Jewish Infomaniac Bitches.

[via]

If it doesn’t involve a first course of ham followed by chocolate Easter eggs, this shiksa (Mistress MJ, that is) has no clue how to progress with a 15 step Passover Seder.

But look…there’s wine!!!

Shoe Selection

Mistress MJ ponders the shoe selections sent in to the Fave Shoes Photo Competition…

Unable to decide on a fave photo, Mistress MJ will be asking for your help on deciding your fave pair of shoes.

Shoe photos will be posted early this week.

Stay tuned.

Indisposed

Mistress MJ is indisposed.

Her get up and go, got up and left.

Nonetheless, she would like to thank all of you for your Fave Shoes Photo Competition submissions.

Even those of you who disobeyed the rules.

To those bitches who emailed today with their shoe photos, Mistress MJ will respond to you on Sunday when (fingers crossed) her pep has returned.

The shoe photos will be posted early next week.

Enjoy your evening, bitches…or whatever time of day it is wherever you are.

*fade-out*

*curtain falls*