By popular demand: gratuitous nude photos of Old Knudsen
The results of the Annual Reader Survey are in and clearly you want more Old Knudsen.
A full list of your desires follows:
Giant naked disembodied penises.
Can we have some more bondage and discipline please?
Everything that the Tubes said that I could have in their song What Do You Want From Life?!
More shaved beaver.
How about a couple more contests as well, i love entering blog contests!!!
More recipes !
Hot gay midget action.
I'd like to see naked Action Man Tim again.
A bit of your lair?
Perverted marmosets.
Something that contravenes the UK's extreme pornography law please.
A little pain (consensual), perhaps?
I'd like to see ten uses for a sea cucumber.
More illustrations of Camden leisure pirates.
Maybe you could just be more cruel to us?
A monthly diary of what's been happening inside those stripy tights.
A picture of how far you can work the Jameson in?
Canadian landmarks!
An essay on the Canadian beaver!
A treaty and deadline for the repatriation of Celine Dion!
Nekkid young men who are not sagging!
Mud wrestling with kippers!
More Old Knudsen in General.
Lots more Old Knudsen please!!!!!!
Some hot naked midgit sex please and more of that cunt Old Knudsen.
Your bed.
Fewer cross-dressers and More very angry-indeed –dressers.
More waiters with their clothes on.
More chain smoking chimps please.
Filthy Friday to start living up to its name.
Donn Coppens with no shirt on chopping down a tree.
Beast posed the dead man in the foreground in 'Raft of the Medusa'.
Voices starting a new blog.
Frobi rising nude and glorious from a wine dark sea.
Any franconians.
IDV standing in the sand of the colliseum shouting 'are you not amused??' and brandishing his sword.
Knudsen. Just pretty much anything with Knudsen. Or his hat.
Are we finished here now or did we forget anything?
I see Old Knudsen is all the rage for Spring!
ReplyDeleteDammit ero, I wanted to be first!
ReplyDeleteOh, and I must have gotten my dirty sasquashes in too late.
ReplyDeleteI know they're hiding up there in Canada. If there were any below the border they'd all have been shot by now.
God that man is smoking hot.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, why do everyone insist on bringing out old man liverspots left and right?
ReplyDeleteYay its Old Knudy in the nuddy
ReplyDeleteYes I shall cum round to this blog often if you post pictures of Hot Knudsen.
ReplyDeleteOH and yer just so LOL at times.
Ach I'm so touched, no really don't fall asleep on a bus in Callyfornia.
ReplyDeletei just wanted not to throw up on a friday and you gave that to me last friday...lol...and no i am not on valium...do you think it would help?
ReplyDeleteCould Knudsen be arsed to rock the Camden Leisure Pirate look? Other people get it badly wrong, like that tosser Ron Udmer. And don't get me started on Byle Hampney, I beg.
ReplyDelete****patiently waiting for Miss MJ to post recipes for
ReplyDeleteToad in the hole a la MJ and her signature dish
Pudding au vente du derriere***
Can Knudsen cook kippers, naked?
ReplyDeleteSx
EROS: I see Old Knudsen is all the rage for Spring!
ReplyDeleteOld Knudsen is a Man for all Seasons.
HOODCHICK: We have a Sasquatch Detective Agency.
LEAH: God that man is smoking hot.
Speaking of smoking, have you seen the photo of Old Knudsen enjoying a post-coital cigarette with George Clooney?
CYBERPOOF: Oh dear, why do everyone insist on bringing out old man liverspots left and right?
Perhaps they’re bored with playing connect the liverspots on Piggy’s arse.
BEAST: Yay its Old Knudy in the nuddy
ReplyDeleteWill you be festooning your backside with balloons and streamers in celebration?
ANONYMUS: We nearly mistook you for Anonymous…the spelling is so close.
KNUDSEN: Ach I'm so touched, no really don't fall asleep on a bus in Callyfornia.
Nor in the Diocese of Leeds.
DAISY: If you throw up this Friday, it will be Beast’s fault.
no i am not on valium...do you think it would help?
Any drug at all would make this blog more tolerable.
MRS: P: What a lovely surprise to see you here again. We thought your visit yesterday was a one-off.
ReplyDeleteBut be cautioned: If you comment one more time on another post, you’ll be considered a regular Infomaniac Bitch. And with regularity comes responsibility. Just ask Miss Scarlet.
Ron Udmer? Byle Hampney? Miss Scarlet, what is Mrs. P. on about? We need a translator!
Oh excuse me…you did have a question.
Could Knudsen be arsed to rock the Camden Leisure Pirate look?
Well he does have a fashionable hat!
BEAST: ****patiently waiting for Miss MJ to post recipes for
Toad in the hole a la MJ and her signature dish
Pudding au vente du derriere***
We don’t think Pudding au vente du derriere is to everyone’s taste.
SCARLET: Can Knudsen cook kippers, naked?
Ask not what Old Knudsen can do for you; ask what you can do for Old Knudsen.
What can Old Knudsen do for me?
ReplyDeleteAh... I seem to have lost the files on Ron Udmer and Byle Hampney. But they may be phonetic challenges, anagrams... or something more complex to do with Latin [but I doubt it]... or they may even be made up characters.
Sx
SCARLET: Cockney rhyming slang, perhaps?
ReplyDeleteNo - it was a typing error.
ReplyDeleteI really wrote 'naked footballers in the shower'.
KAZ: Would you settle for footballers in the shower in their underwear?
ReplyDeleteThey are probably Mrs P's gardners. She's been having problems in the undergrowth.
ReplyDeleteSx
SCARLET: They are probably Mrs P's gardners. She's been having problems in the undergrowth.
ReplyDeleteSimilar to your problems with your unruly bush?
Are her gardeners capable or should I send one of The Houseboys over?
FN has an arborist left ...
ReplyDeleteNO ARBORISTS!!!!!
ReplyDeletedamnded franconians all up in here with their pine-scented flag going 'wooooo' like they do.
otherwise, well done mj. Knudson and yet again Knudson. greyed, sagging foreskin...piss-soaked hat...vague aroma of linament and despair...hell yeah, I'm sated.
*settles back and has a smoke*
.....OH MY GOD SOMEONE FLAGGED YOUR BLOG! YOU HAVE A CONTENT WARNING UP BECAUSE SOMEONE MUST HAVE FLAGGED YOUR BLOG FOR INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT OR SOMETHING OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH SHIT OH DEAR GASP CLUTCH THE PEARLS!
ReplyDeletehave you noticed?
"did we forget anything?"
ReplyDeleteYes indeed! Infomaniac and Dating Service Staff Parties! Always the highlight of my social calendar.
thank you.
ReplyDeleteSorry; what can I do for Old Knudsen?
ReplyDeleteMrs P would very much like to borrow the houseboys, but suggests they stop off and stay with Scarlet Blue for a short time. If that's okay?
Sx
Scarlet knows full well who Ron and Byle are. They came to my aid in Exeter Street when I was wasted and she was too busy with her Moscow Mule to be bothered. Cow. I don't need any more domestic help, thank you. This establishment is ludicrously overstaffed as it is. Nor can I be your biatch. I am a raddled old Jewish princess and, as such, am unsuited ethically, religiously, genetically, financially for such a position. Bei mir gezunt, as we say in West Hampstead.
ReplyDeleteMAGO: Now you’ve gone and done it, haven’t you?
ReplyDeleteYou HAD to mention arborists.
We’ve been keeping our lip zipped about the arborists as we’re sure Ms. Nations will soon lose patience with us if we continue to ask for photos of NAKED ARBORISTS.
NATIONS: In return for posting naked photos of Old Knudsen, Mistress MJ would like photos of NAKED ARBORISTS.
Nice pearl necklace, by the way. Did Old Knudsen give it to you?
XL: Do you want to use the services of our Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service?
Shall we post your pic and see if there are any takers?
BOXER: Don’t thank us yet as we haven’t posted any new pipe-smoking primates.
They’re hard to come by though, we must warn you.
SCARLET: Mrs. P. appears to be in a bit of a huff.
MRS.P: Could we back this horse up a bit?
What exactly is Miss Scarlet’s “Moscow Mule”?
Ethnicity is not a factor in determining Infomaniac Bitch status. Leah has not let her J.A.P. status prevent her from becoming an Infomaniac Bitch. And Manuel is a filthy Fenian yet we welcome him with open arms. And then there’s Mago, a FRANCONIAN! As if there is such a thing. But we nod agreeably to appease him.
Zei nit a nar, Mrs. P!
Ah.
ReplyDeleteMrs P, Ron and Byle only came to your rescue because you had your frock tucked in your knickers and you offered up your sea-cucumber.
MJ, A Moscow Mule is Vodka and Ginger Beer.
Sx
[pssst]
ReplyDeleteMrs P, don't worry about the New Bitch status. We all suffer from Stockholm Syndrome here.
The morning wood is the hardest to chop!
ReplyDeleteI'll do it!
but only for the attention.
Soll'n mer reiden in de mameloshes here? Shmocks un shicksen send genug.
ReplyDeleteSCARLET: I believe we’ve lost Mrs. P. for good.
ReplyDeleteAnd after we so thoughtfully posted a mezuzah to our door!
XL: Nice attempt to avoid our question.
DONN: Did you hear that, Nations?
DONN COPPENS WITH NO SHIRT ON CHOPPING DOWN A TREE!
This will suffice until we can get a NAKED ARBORIST.
MAGO: Meine Fresse!
Yes, that was very thoughtful. I think she'll be back.
ReplyDeleteSx
SCARLET: Well if she's going to be that high-maintenance, she can forget about us baking her a nice babka!
ReplyDelete***sneaks in***
ReplyDelete***wipes knob on MJ's curtains***
***sneaks out again***
BEAST: Get OUT!
ReplyDeleteWhy do I bother trying to keep things presentable around here with the likes of you around?
And if I find any purple butt prints on my furniture, you’re in big trouble!
eeeeek........little proddie willy......
ReplyDeleteMANUEL: We'll let Old Knudsen respond to that one.
ReplyDeleteso thats a no on the shaved beaver then?
ReplyDelete*pouts*
VOICES: Anything is possible here at Infomaniac.
ReplyDelete