This blog needs more pussy
It’s that time of year again when Infomaniac allows you, our Bitches, to give us your feedback on this blog.
What would you like to see here in 2009?
*Suggestions welcome.
COMMENTS FROM PREVIOUS READER SURVEYS
Saggy, nekkid old men. Or perhaps a still life of a basket of fruit from the Tate Modern.
-- Beast
We’d like to see a big rancid cream cake stuffed up Beast’s arse.
-- Piggy and Tazzy
Orangutan buttocks. Or a nice set of baboon buttocks.
-- Garfer
More features about Old Knudsen cos he is my favourite.
-- Old Knudsen and everyone else who reads this blog
Me, impaled on Old Knudsen’s cock.
-- Leah and a dozen other female readers and one fella who didn't want us to mention his name
Nekkid blokes. That’s it. Just nekkid blokes.
-- KAZ
How about a sewing circle?
-- Scarlet
Editor’s note: How about some subversive cross stitch instead?...
Monica Bellucci’s fine ass.
-- Donn
Editor’s note: That topic is getting borrringgg. Don’t you covet anyone else’s ass?
Photos of your dainty feet, Mistress.
-- Mago
Hot young men in skimpy outfits.
-- CyberPete
Editor’s note: Yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen.
Dugongs. Toilet Planters. Giant turkeys of death. Inbred children eating dirt by the side of the road. Cheese rolling and border skirmishes. Oh wait. That’s my blog.
-- First Nations
*Infomaniac will, as usual, ignore all advice.
1st!
ReplyDelete"This blog needs more pussy"
ReplyDeleteHey, how can I be 1st!, but the cat takes my suggestion?
I would like to see more giant naked disembodied penises. I enjoy looking at them, especially when they are attached neither to personality nor corpus. It just makes things that much easier.
ReplyDeleteOh and yes, certainly, myself and/or anyone else, male or female, impaled on Old Knudsen's cock. Provided he's completed his full course of antibiotics.
Oh wait, did you mean "me" as in you MJ, or "me" as in me Leah?
ReplyDeleteEither way.
XL: It’s a wacky world, isn’t it?
ReplyDeleteLEAH: Oh wait, did you mean "me" as in you MJ, or "me" as in me Leah?
I meant YOU as in Leah.
That was supposed to be YOU saying that YOU would like to see yourself impaled on Old Knudsen’s cock.
Hey, since you’re the one writing the dissertation, tell me…
How might I have expressed that thought better, grammatically?
No, Mistress, not the whip!
ReplyDeleteI see now. It was in fact completely consistent with the construction of the entire post.
But while I'm at it, can we have some more bondage and discipline please?
OK smartypants, howzabout everything that the Tubes said that I could have in their song What Do You Want From Life?!
ReplyDeletea heated kidney shaped pool,
a microwave oven--don't watch the food cook,
a Dyna-Gym--I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home,
a king-size Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum,
a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi,
real simulated Indian jewelry,
a Gucci shoetree,
a year's supply of antibiotics,
a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
and Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number,
a beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick,
Rosemary's baby,
a dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams,
a new Matador, a new mastodon,
a Maverick, a Mustang, a Montego,
a Merc Montclair, a Mark IV, a meteor,
a Mercedes, an MG, or a Malibu,
a Mort Moriarty, a Maserati, a Mac truck,
a Mazda, a new Monza, or a moped,
a Winnebago--Hell, a herd of Winnebago's we're giving 'em away,
or how about a McCulloch chainsaw,
a Las Vegas wedding,
a Mexican divorce,
a solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot,
or a baby's arm holding an apple?
Hmm?
LEAH: can we have some more bondage and discipline please?
ReplyDeleteGeneral generic B&D?
Or would you like to see Mistress MJ truss up one of our male bitches?
Or are you asking to be disciplined, you saucy little minx?
DONN: And once you get everything on your list, you’ll turn around and you may ask yourself-"well...how did I get here?"
And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
yeah, perhaps some more shaved beaver....
ReplyDeletehow about a couple more contests as well, i love entering blog contests!!!
More recipes !
ReplyDeleteYou failed my suggestion of hot gay midget action.
ReplyDeleteThe shame!
Ooh, I'd like to see naked Action Man Tim again.
ReplyDeleteAnd maybe a bit of your lair?
My chief request was for perverted marmosets, and I expect to see it fulfilled.
ReplyDeletesomething that contravenes the UK's extreme pornography law please (we are all feeling a little deprived of our precious smut over this way).
ReplyDeletea little pain (consensual), perhaps?
I'm with Mago's request on this.
ReplyDeleteIf you need a hand then simply light up the Bat signal, or press this button:
Emergency Button
See, the cross-stitch was good... I'd like to see ten uses for a sea cucumber...
ReplyDeleteSx
Love that stitched motif
ReplyDeleteYeah, Scarlet, the sea-cucumber shtik is mine and Inky's, so just stop trying to jump on our bandwagon. Personally, I would like to see more illustrations of Camden leisure pirates, but I'm at a difficult age.
ReplyDeletei can't even think this morning...i'm good with whatever you do...seems i keep coming back for more...
ReplyDeleteI always like a good disciplining myself, but am happy to see others being disciplined. Maybe you could just be more cruel to us?
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm with Zack on contests. *glances at Penis Book and thinks fondly of Little Jimmy who made it possible*
A monthly diary of what's been happening inside those stripy tights.
ReplyDeleteA picture of how far you can work the Jameson in?
Mucho pictures of your dainty feet.
All of the above at once, if it saves time.
Sorry Mrs P.... thought you were skiing? Off-piste?
ReplyDeleteSx
Canadian landmarks!
ReplyDeleteAn essay on the Canadian beaver!
A treaty and deadline for the repatriation of Celine Dion!
Nekkid young men who are not sagging! :)
ReplyDeleteVOICES: i love entering blog contests!!!
ReplyDeleteYou really wanted those GIANT UNDERPANTS, didn’t you?
BEAST: More recipes !
You with your Ma Beastie’s Chickpea Curry and Ms. Nations with her special fudge have that department wrapped up.
Though I suppose I could consult with The Houseboys who do all the cooking chez Infomaniac.
CYBERPOOF: You failed my suggestion of hot gay midget action.
Old Knudsen made that request last year and it was vetoed on account of that’s Eddie Waring’s specialty.
However, since Eddie hasn’t posted since October, perhaps there is a niche to be filled.
IVD: And maybe a bit of your lair?
There is nothing to see as it is already filling up with empty cardboard boxes as I sort through the flotsam and jetsam in preparation to move later this year.
GARFY: My chief request was for perverted marmosets, and I expect to see it fulfilled.
ReplyDeleteAre you trying to get another “content warning” slapped onto this blog?
CARNALIS: something that contravenes the UK's extreme pornography law please (we are all feeling a little deprived of our precious smut over this way).
Infomaniac is here for you.
a little pain (consensual), perhaps?
Does inserting the point of my stiletto heel up Garfer’s arse constitute consensual pain?
GINRO: It’s good to have you back with us!
The emergency button only works if you’re wearing lederhosen.
Are you?
SCARLET: I'd like to see ten uses for a sea cucumber...
See comment from Mrs. P.
WOLFMEN: Welcome to Infomaniac!
ReplyDeleteHowever did you find us?
No matter. Just send us a photo of your bare bottom. It is a requirement of all new male Infomaniac readers as you can see for yourself here.
MRS.P: Welcome to Infomaniac!
One must constantly keep watch over Miss Scarlet and it’s best you check here from time to time to see what she gets up to.
Quite frankly, we would appreciate it if you could monitor her behavior as we have our hands full just keeping The Houseboys in line.
As for your request for illustrations of Camden leisure pirates, we’ll need educating on this topic. Please enlighten an ignorant Canuck.
DAISY: .i'm good with whatever you do...seems i keep coming back for more...
You appear to be the only one who’s satisfied.
Are you on Valium?
LEAH: Maybe you could just be more cruel to us?
Maybe you could get down on your scabby knees and thank us for whatever scraps we offer you.
And I'm with Zack on contests.
You’re still sore over losing out to Ponita on the GIANT UNDERPANTS, aren’t you?
MAXI: A monthly diary of what's been happening inside those stripy tights.
ReplyDeleteDoes that mean I have to wear those days-of-the-week panties?
SCARLET: Sorry Mrs P.... thought you were skiing? Off-piste?
You’ve been exposed by Mrs. P. as one of those types who subscribes to the “While the cat’s away, the mice will play” school of thought.
For shame.
Let that be a lesson to you.
Obviously you are in need of discipline.
EROS: Canadian landmarks!
Funny enough, for ages we’ve been planning a “Big Canada” post where we show you all the big roadside attractions. Mistress MJ must buckle down and complete it for you.
Continuing with all things Canadiana, today someone landed on Infomaniac through this Google search…“Shania Twain takes it up the arse”.
PONITA: Nekkid young men who are not sagging! :)
See the “editor’s note” to CyberPoof in this post.
If you want that kind of thing, you should join Urban Cougar.
Well it works fine for me...oh.
ReplyDeleteWell now you have the next filthy Friday post right there!
ReplyDeleteHop to it.
i'm with you fellas...
ReplyDeleteyou do so entertain me, sugar! xoxox
GINRO: I’ll just get my dirndl, then.
ReplyDeleteCYBERPOOF: Filthy Friday is already taken care of for this week thanks to a considerate yet perverted reader who has forwarded a link to us.
SAVANNAH: Since you’re satisfied with the entertainment around here, can we call off my polka performance scheduled for later this afternoon?
Mud wrestling with kippers!
ReplyDeleteSx
Apologies, I have forgotten my duties as protege and assistant to Mrs P. Here are The Camden Leisure Pirates.
ReplyDeleteSx
SCARLET: These Camden leisure pirates…
ReplyDeleteIs there any danger of them immigrating to Canada?
I shall be on the lookout for poncho-clad alcoholics wearing fashionable headgear.
Mud wrestling with kippers...what a silly idea.
Hmmmm we could have a post of whats in MJ's box .
ReplyDeleteThats the packing boxes you filthy swines as we know the former will be 'Love Eggs'
I would also like to know how you disposed of the rest of the bodies and why you left only the trainer clad feet ??
I would like there to be more Tangushomania on this blog with some gamish but not the Turkish type as that is for the weak. And more Old Knudsen impaling Leah or any young friends she may have cos Old Knudsen is all about taking care of the youth.
ReplyDeleteMore Old Knudsen in General.
ReplyDeleteLots more Old Knudsen please!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSome hot naked midgit sex please and more of that cunt Old Knudsen.
ReplyDeleteReversed psychology.
ReplyDeleteNo more Old Knudsen cos he is toooo edgy for you to blog about.
I can see us now...
ReplyDeleteBEAST: As we speak and before Mistress MJ has to leave for work, she is packing up a box of childhood mementoes including a teensy pair of pink tights, and drawings and poems and stories that she penned; some of which actually had moral endings!
ReplyDeleteOLD KNUDSEN: The people have spoken.
Expect more Old Knudsen on this blog.
Now send me more nude photos, pronto.
And perhaps one of you sharing a post-coital cigarette with George Clooney.
GINRO: Then your eyesight is better than mine.
Your bed.
ReplyDeleteWe want to see a pic of your bed.
No hoovering the minge flakes from between the sheets first either - we want to see it exactly as the vice squad would see it if they just happened to burst through the door, truncheons at the ready.
We demand to see it. We won't be satisfied until we do. Not that that means you'll ever be able to satisfy us, obviously.
I think we'll start a petition.
Yes, we will.
.
.
.
.
(I'm enjoying playing with full-stops today, for some reason)
Anyway (fave word)...
.
.
.
.
We, the undersigned, hereby demand that the rancid cunted MJ takes a photograph of her fuckpit in it's native state and posts it on her blog for all to see.
Signed : PIGGY AND TAZZY
Okay, over to the other punters.
Note that this is in addition to, not instead of, the other requests being made in this topic.
PIGGY: A photo of the cat’s bed is forthcoming.
ReplyDeleteFunny you should mention the vice squad bursting in as I once lived in a warehouse space that was not zoned for residential use. The cops saw the light on late at night and burst down the door when I was starkers in bed!
No truncheons were drawn, however.
fewer cross-dressers and More very angry-indeed -dressers.........
ReplyDeleteWhat did the Vice Squad think of the horde of giant underpants, vintage porn, and poutine recipes when they burst in?
ReplyDeleteMistress packing boxes with memorablia ... that is touching.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes - I sign that petition!
I hope Mago signed the petition 28 times in differing names?
ReplyDeletemore waiters with their clothes on......thank you
ReplyDeleteMore chain smoking chimps please.
ReplyDeleteI like 'em!
Filthy Friday to start living up to its name.
ReplyDeletePiggy and Tazzy
ReplyDeleteNo.
"We, the undersigned, hereby demand that the rancid cunted MJ takes a photograph of her fuckpit in it's native state and posts it on her blog for all to see.
Signed : PIGGY AND TAZZY
Signed : MAGO"
SIGN HERE!
Creeping back to the one and only place in cyberspace that slightly makes sense.
Mistress, my hands are warm now, where are yer feet? Let's use a drop of that orange/citrus/cinnamon scented oil here ...
and there ...
Donn Coppens with no shirt on chopping down a tree
ReplyDeleteBeast posed the dead man in the foreground in 'Raft of the Medusa'
Voices starting a new blog
Frobi rising nude and glorious from a wine dark sea
any franconians
IDV standing in the sand of the colliseum shouting 'are you not amused??' and brandishing his
sword
knudson. just pretty much anything with knudson. or his hat.
NO ARBORISTS. EVER.
BITCHES: Mistress MJ just got home from work and if you think she's going to respond to your comments individually, you have another thing coming.
ReplyDeleteIt's bad enough that we have to churn out another post for you.
You're lucky we even show up to say this much.
Dirty Sasquash photos. I mean the big hairy beasts, not the disgusting jiz shots.
ReplyDelete