Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Who Needs a Bitch Slapping?

I nominate Celine Dion for a bitch slapping. Do I really need a reason?!

It came from Canada.

It wed an old man

It looked like it was hungry and could use a good meal

To satisfy its hunger, it ate a baby

It ate the baby whole

The baby repeated itself on her so she coughed it up like a hairball

The hairball grew into her son, Rene Charles. And don’t even think about commenting on his hair because she’s sick of hearing about it.

Stick that gigantic thumb up yer arse, Celine, or you’ll get a bitch slapping.

There’s Celine taken care of. Who else needs a bitch slapping?


  1. *appauds the bitch slapping*
    i can't stand her...never have been able to...she just annoys me, i can't even listen to her music...
    slap her again for me...please

  2. She is fucking ugly but I'd shag her.

  3. I don't know what prompted me to do it, but I spent at least twenty minutes yesterday looking at Celine Dion's site. The woman is deranged.

    That Anne Geddes calendar is one of the worst things of all time.

  4. That pic in the red tube thingy is even more gross than the picture of the 2cm penis.

  5. MJ - You resemble the Dion thing a little, don't you?

    I think it's the neck.

  6. Fucking brilliant do Anne Coulter......

  7. Ooh! I nominate Hilary Clinton...and Rudy Giuliani (or howeverthefuckyouspellit)...and Ricky Williams...and France.

  8. DAISY: Oh go on and give her a slap yourself.

    Didn’t that feel good?

    KNUDSEN: I’m sure you’re a better shag than René Angélil.

    She’s all about the geezer love so I'm sure she'd give it up for you.

    My people will contact her people to let her know you’re up for it.

    BETTY: 20 minutes on Celine’s site?

    What drugs are you on for that wrist injury?

    Please do a posting on the Anne Geddes calendar. I beseech thee.

    KAZ: Please do not speak disparagingly of “Wee SID.”

    You really don't want to see "Wee SID" weep.

    PIGGY: Nothing about me resembles her.

    That thumb of hers is bigger than yer willy though.

    MANUEL: I hereby sentence Anne Coulter to spend a day as a waitress in a busy Skid Row restaurant.

    Or as your busboy.

    Or cleaning up after you during your next horrendous hangover.

    RIMMER: How many hands do you think I have?

  9. Ok, then just France. I'm sure they'll all line up in an orderly fashion to surrender to you (or anybody)

  10. Dr. (bullshit) Laura Slessinger

    run her through a chipper, drive over the hamburger with a bulldozer, set fire to the grease spot, encase it in cement, drop it in the Marianas Trench and let the dugongs crap on it forevermore.


    *eye begins to twitch*

  11. RIMMER: I like the French.

    I'd rather just line them up and spank them.

    FN: What Dr. Laura needs is a nice big cock up her arse.

  12. I nominate ....


  13. CONNIE: Shut up or I'll crush you with Celine Dion's thumb.

  14. I second Connie's nomination.

    All in favor?
    (anyone who likes the French deserves a quality bitch slapping and maybe even a good old fashioned pimp slap)

  15. P&T ~ My thoughts exactly.

    What a neck!

    Even an anagram of said singer is similar to MJ

    Celine Dion

    Nice? No Idle.

  16. I nominate Celine Dion for a bitch slapping. Do I really need a reason?!

    No you don't need a reason to give her a bitch slap and you don't need a reason either.

  17. So thats all settled then.

    MJ gets the bitch slap.

    *hands round baseball bats*

    Who wants to go first?

  18. ooo Pinata style (pretend there's that little squiggle over the 'n')

  19. She makes me happy the Titanic sank. Beat her bloody with a dirty bar rag.

  20. RIMMER: Instigator.

    SID: You'll pay for that comment.

    I have a photo of you that our readers might be interested in seeing.

    I won't post it tomorrow though as I don't want to put the Yanks off their Thanksgiving turkey dinners.

    But soon, SID. Soon.

    TATAS: Could someone please translate what Tatas is trying to say into English?

    Thank you.

    PIGGY: You give girly slaps.

    RIMMER: *pretends something is up yer arse making you squiggle*

    WAITRESS: Who? Celine? Or me?

    BITCHES: Can I get back to work now?

    Miserable, blood-thirsty bastards, all of you.

    wv: bhapy

  21. the kid looks to have changed races and need a hair cut or at least the cord cut oh hell why stop there cut off her head.

  22. Everything after the French album is crap.

    I can't believe she married that corpse!

  23. GEO: Thank you Henry VIII.

    PEEVISH: I can't believe that corpse married HER!

  24. Though Celine falls in the category of those singers who are best suited to perform on radio only, I do admire the woman's range...much better singer than that horrid Streisand.

    P.S. I would like to nominate Pat Robertson for a bitch slapping, but that would be elderly abuse ;)

  25. BINGOWINGS: Pat Robertson?

    Organize a public stoning!

  26. "I sing in tree langwidge,
    h'inglash da best!"