"No, you are not a gay. I am the gay. You're probably just a little bit poofy!"
- Daffyd Thomas
Steve: Grand Marshal of the Just A Bit Poofy Parade
Okay, you gays have had your day in the spotlight. Buncha queens. Clear off.
By an Order of Parliament, I hereby declare October 12, 2006 the first annual National Just A Bit Poofy Day.
And who better to lead the parade as Grand Marshal than our Steve.
Steve hails from deepest, darkest Dorset and his hobbies include wanking.
“But wait,” you say. “Isn’t he married to Carly? How can be just a bit poofy?”
Take a look at his pic (above) and tell me that a penchant for wearing red rubber outfits isn’t just a bit poofy. That and the fact that he likes rugby players’ pert botties. And he’s on the blower to Yorkshire’s finest poofs twice a day and sends them secret text messages when Carly’s not around.
And where is Carly anyway? The big fag hag’s run off with Will Young leaving Steve to get up to all sorts. Filthy bugger is in his element with Just A Bit Poofy Day. Just look at him. Wanker. Disgusting he is.
Well that’s all fine and good, you say. We have our Grand Marshal. Yay. Now bring on the dancing girls!
That’s our cue to introduce the lovely Miss Tickers…
Steelworker by day, just a bit poofy by night, our Tickers is the official baton twirler in this, the first annual National Just A Bit Poofy Day Parade.
Tickers qualifies as just a bit poofy for oh so many reasons. (See hotpants above) Don’t blame the 70s.
Like Daffyd Thomas, Tickers is from Wales and is giving Daffyd of Llandewi Breffi a run for his money as the only gay in the village. No wait! Sorry Tickers. You’re just a bit poofy.
QUIZ! HOW GAY ARE YOU?
This is a GAY
Daffyd Thomas is the only gay in his village. Are you a gay too? Or just a bit poofy? Take our simple test to see if you would enjoy sex with men, just like Daffyd could if he would.
If you answer more "yes" then "no"... I am afraid you are a gay :-)
1. Is Madonna a goddess? Is Kylie a personal icon for you?
2. Is drag amusing and do you have your own drag name in mind?
3. Are relationships a new concept to you?
4. Have you ever owned a whistle and marched through a city with lots of poofs and lezzas proclaiming your gaiety?
5. Have you had sex in a toilet or outside with a stranger? If not, is it on your "things to do" list?
6. Do you know the moves to at least 2 songs by Steps?
7. Have you been to see a musical at the theatre and enjoyed it?
8. Do you own anything with a rainbow on it, especially a freedom flag?
9. Do you have a bald head, a goatee beard, a tattoo, or all of the above?
10. Have you slept with lots of men whose names escape you?
11. Do you find Ab Fab or Victoria Wood funny?
12. Do you go to the gym? Are you really slim and body conscious?
13. Is anything but pop music un-listenable to you? Are boy bands a good idea?
14. Do you drink a fair bit? Take 2 bottles into the shower?
15. Have you ever expressed an interest in interior design?
16. Can you bitch for England?
17. Have you ever worn a crop top?
18. Are fashion labels essential to your self-image?
19. Have you had a fling with someone off the internet? Or at least wanted to?
20. Do you fancy men and are one yourself?
Happy National Just A Bit Poofy Day!
Everybody dance now!