Thursday, February 05, 2009

Crocs Epidemic

Most of you are aware of our intense hatred of Crocs.

If you are wearing them as we speak, get out and never come back!


Ginger chef Mario Batali wearing one of his 50 pairs of Crocs


The Crocs can of worms has been opened yet again with the introduction of the Sasquatch Pet Bed.



As you can see, the Sasquatch Pet Bed is a Crocs-shaped bed for animals.

The “shoe” part of the bed is made with “easy to hose down” closed cell resin and has a washable faux-fleece “sock” lining.



This madness must be stopped before Crocs make their way further into our homes.

What’s next?

Will IKEA pick up a Crocs line of home furnishings?

Will Philippe Starck dictate that our toothbrushes and toilet bowl brushes be Croc-shaped?

We say put an end to it NOW!



Note: Yes, we are aware that this item was posted extra early but frankly, we do not have enough time to spend with you on Thursday so let the fun begin now. Besides, we don’t know what kind of mood we’ll be in on Thursday. We may not want to speak to you at all!

39 comments:

  1. too eazy today, but I'll it;

    SECOND

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  2. XL & BOXER: Is that all you have to say for yourselves?

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  3. I just picked your Uterus up. Did you know you have loose change in there?

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  4. Whats with the royal 'we' . I have a new theory , you dont have PMS you are actually POSSESSED BY PIGGY
    ***splashes holy water about***
    ***removes MJ's croc to check for cloven hoof***

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  5. ***checks Miss MJ's skimpies for ginger pubes***

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  6. I would have thought crocs would come in handy for spanking the hosuseboys if their service was tardy and insufficiently obsequious.

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  7. SCARLET: Damn right.

    BOXER: It is loose change that fell out of CyberPoof’s g-string.

    SCARLET: Crocs sanitary pads have no absorbency.

    BEAST: We are not amused. If you had been paying attention, you would have realized that we use it most in times when you need to be talked down to like the child you are. For example, after the mess you left on our blog yesterday.

    *checks Beast’s Latex purple posing pouch for spare change and Marks and Spencer’s gift vouchers*

    GARFY: Speaking of tardy, bend over for your spanking as you’ve been awol for a few days.

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  8. Dammit. Eleventh. I was sure I'd be first here thanks to my new RSS fed links. Bah! What a waste of time and effort that was.

    Much like Crocs.

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  9. IVD: If you had not been sat on your blogging thumb for so long, you coulda been a contender.

    You are sadly out of practice.

    In short, a disgrace.

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  10. Crocs come from the place where God goes to die.

    Is that too strongly stated?

    At the very least, they're infuriatingly ugly.

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  11. What a crocsnob!

    Just because they don't go with your Whooping Crane Hat, Alligator Gucci Handbag, Panda Jacket, Iberian Lynx Sweater and Hairy Nosed Wombat Mittens...
    that doesn't mean that the rest of us can't enjoy their playful artificial comfort, zany colourfulness, and practical weatherproofnicity?

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  12. MJ: badumbum.

    God only dies in certain sections of Brooklyn--Canarsie, for instance. And by die I probably just mean he dies a little inside everytime he walks through there...

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  13. DONN: Not all of us can doff our clothing as easily as the great Wood Choppin’ Coppens.

    Old Knudsen lost his leg to the Great White Panda of the Pennines.

    My coat is made from the fur.

    LEAH: Please tell me He doesn’t wear Crocs.

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  14. ok, i'm cool with not being first...or even 10th...i.am.doing.alan.rickman.

    in my mind

    xoxoxo

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  15. These pristine feet of mine have never and shall never touch the plastic ugliness of a Croc! I HATE THOSE SHOES!!!

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  16. SAVANNAH: You and Alan Rickman and Leah should get a room.

    RANDOM: Don’t mention your pristine feet or Mago will want to massage them.

    Or is that your cunning plan?

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  17. MAGO: Perhaps I shouldn't have given your phone number to all the Women of Infomaniac.

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  18. None called!
    Does the word "fixation" ... nah I am no shrink.

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  19. MAGO: It’s hard to believe any of these bitches are playing “hard to get”…what is the term in German, I wonder?

    But we know they all want the “Mago touch”.

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  20. You know, that “easy to hose down” feature could be quite useful at Chez Infomaniac.

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  21. Could be translated with: "Kriegst mich nicht!" That's what children shout when playing "Fangen", to catch - ?
    An older version would be "das Pflänzchen Rühr-mich-nicht-an", "g'schamig" in Bavarian.

    You are back to the pluralis majestatis ... Wasser marsch!

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  22. sweet jesus they are hideous.....I cross the street to get away from the mouthbreathers that wear them....

    thank you for your words the other day......all the comments mean a lot

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  23. i have asked mago for his linguistic assistance, sugar!
    xoxoox

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  24. XL: You know, that “easy to hose down” feature could be quite useful at Chez Infomaniac.

    If only we could have turned a hose on all of you during the “Red Bow Tie” post!

    MAGO: Bavarian? High German?

    RANDOM: *slips Mago’s phone number to Random*

    MANUEL: Thankfully, Mario Batali is a chef, not a waiter.

    I’ve been thinking of you often.

    SAVANNAH: A slip of the tongue?

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  25. Oh, delicate conversations of the Women of Infomaniac, I do not want to disturb.

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  26. NOBODY HAS TO DO ANYTHING WITH OR TO MY FEET.
    *puts down bullhorn, looks around cautiously*
    UNLESS THEY ARE NAKED, CARRY A CHAINSAW, AND CAN FLY
    *looks around cautiously again*
    ALL NAKED FRANCONIAN PEOPLE WITH FOOT FETISHES CAN
    *mago sneaks out of bushes and is nailed with a size 12 EEE orange croc*

    .....yes, its true! if you use the proper bait lure you can bag your limit on franconians this season! thats just one of the incredible Franconian secrets I have to offer! want to know more? me and Ted Nugent have made a instructional dvd with all the tricks and tips you'll need to begin bagging Franconians just like the pros do! just send $57955760480.00 in U.S currency to PAUL. BECAUSE 'PAUL' IS A NICE NAME and you could be smacking your first Franconian with an uglyass damn shoe tomorrow!

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  27. *steps out from behind boscombe pier and looks around cautiously*

    NOBODY HERE HAS TO DO ANYTHING TO MY FEET WHATSOEVER. LA LA LA, IM JUST WALKING DOWN THE SHORE HERE BAREFOOT HOLDING A BANANA, LA LA LA

    *lowers bullhorn, catches sight of beast slouching toward her with a crazed look in his eyes*

    ...$57955760480.00 is all thats standing between you and your first trophy-sized Bournemouthian! wanna find out how to bag your limit the first day out? me and Ted Nugent have gotten together and made an instructional video which

    *sees mj running towards her brandishing uterus and runs away*

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  28. I'll have whatever FirstNations is on!

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  29. MAGO: Pay attention to Ms. Nations.

    She is the ancestral spirit calling upon Franconian Man.

    Or something.

    NATIONS: NOBODY HAS TO DO ANYTHING WITH OR TO MY FEET.
    *puts down bullhorn, looks around cautiously*
    UNLESS THEY ARE NAKED, CARRY A CHAINSAW, AND CAN FLY


    Congratulations! You have just described the great WOOD CHOPPIN’ COPPENS!

    p.s. A cheque for $57955760480.00 in U.S currency is in the mail to you. How much is that in Canadian loonies and twonies? Yes, I want to bag me a Franconian! AND a Bournmouthian.

    Do they come with batteries?

    XL: We’re afraid that isn’t possible. Ms. Nations is her own natural high (puffffffttttttt) force field.

    Send a cheque for $57955760480.00 in U.S currency to her if you want to learn her secrets.

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  30. They are just shell suits for feet IMHO.

    What about an Oval Croc for the President, or A Birthing Croc for every maternity ward?

    My stylish Spanish friend believes we should burn them all on the basis that excess comfort = lard arse

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  31. Sasquatch? If that's the only shoes available to Big Foot, it's no wonder he's too embarrassed to seen in public or only walks around barefoot!

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  32. APPRENTICE: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    Where did you come from?

    EROS & MAGO: Catch you later, bitches. It's cocktail time.

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