Please Continue Holding

The Mistress is experiencing a time management problem.

Your Call Has Been Forwarded

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system...


The Mistress is out of the office for a few days but please leave a message and she'll get back to you...eventually.

Conference call amongst yourselves, Bitches.

Housekeeping note: Some of you Bitches are experiencing technical difficulties while loading Infomaniac.

Mr. Peenee says, When I try to log-on to your site, it only loads as far down as Justin Trudueau's nipples and then stops. I understand being stunned by them at first, but this happens every time. I then reload and everything's hunky dorey. Been this way for several days.

Norma chimes in with, Exact same thing's been happening to me.

So The Mistress tried replacing the JT nipple photo with another JT nipple photo, thinking that perhaps the photo had caused the problem.

Peenee pipes up yet again, Your attempt to trick Blogger by switching pictures of Justin Trudeau's nipples (and how many snaps of them are there? Do you have all of them?) failed to work. The page still loads down to M. Trudeau's manly pecs and is overwhelmed and freezes.

Bitches, I have no idea what's going on nor how to solve this issue but please keep me informed. 

And yes, Mr. Peenee, I do save all of them, if you must know.

Yak Yak Yak

What's the longest telephone conversation you've ever had, Bitches?


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Who were you talking to?



And what was the gist of the conversation?

Public Service Announcement #36

Think twice before calling room service. Studies show that hotel phones have high levels of bodily fluid residue on them…


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Telephone keypads in hotel rooms were found to be teeming with over double the acceptable amount of bacteria; far more, in fact, than bathroom door handles.

Experts suggest that hotel guests protect themselves from bacteria by washing their hands, using hand sanitizer and wiping down surfaces with disinfectant wipes.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

I'm in a Phone Booth, Baby

When was the last time you used a pay phone? Or a pay phone in a phone booth?

Phone Fantasy

CALL NOW...

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The Phone Fantasy line is a division of Infomaniac's Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service.

While You're Waiting...

Please wait for the next available representative. Someone will be with you shortly.


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While you're waiting for Part Five of Let's Bring Back, Mistress MJ is putting you on hold.

What is the longest you've been placed on hold during a telephone call?

And which companies are the worst for wait times?

And does an actual human being ever answer the phone anymore or is it always an automated voice?


Mistress MJ will return soon. Your call is important to us.