House Guests from Hell

The revolving door has finally swung shut on The Mistress's house guests. One guest was annoying and disrespectful of the house rules.

Rule #1 (of many): Do not, I repeat, do NOT leave your snotty Kleenex tissues on The Mistress's dining room table. Ditto for your backpack and/or handbag. 

Rule #2: Do not file your nails on The Mistress's furniture, especially if the nail shavings are falling directly onto my sofa. Can you not do that in the bathroom?

How about you? Do you Bitches have house rules?

House Guests

The Mistress is taking a few days off to entertain house guests. Considering her lack of hostess skills, this will be a challenge...

The Mistress will catch up with you Bitches when time permits. In the meantime, talk amongst yourselves.

Crocs With Socks

Apparently, there is a trend of wearing Crocs with socks...

The socks are built-in to the Crocs. This particular pair costs $140...

The Mistress has no further comment. Do you?

Public Service Announcement #39

If you're cruising this summer on the Infomaniac Love Boat, you must wear a life jacket...

[via]

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Honk if You're Horny

[via]

Happy Fourth of July!

To all you American Bitches...

Happy Fourth of July!

The First of July

July 1st holds special meaning to The Mistress. It's Canada Day; it's Norma's birthday; and it's the day that our friend LX posted his first comment on Infomaniac, back in 2008. Click here to be carried back to days of yore.

In honour of all three events, The Mistress offers you Bitches the most Canadian of cakes: a lumberjack cake...

The Mistress is not in the most celebratory of moods. Why?  Because LX (aka XL aka Mr. Lax) has published his final blog post.  

LX has been the Official Infomaniac Pillow Fluffer and Personal IT Consultant to The Mistress for many moons. He is a loyal friend to us all.

And you know that "Banned By Infomaniac" sticker that you've all received? Some of you NUMEROUS times? That's LX's creation...

The Mistress is in denial that LX may not be hanging about to celebrate future festive events with his signature dish: the traditional cranberries recipe...

Ingredients:

1 can jellied cranberry sauce

Preparation:

Remove both ends of can.

Push product onto plate.

Slice.

The Mistress has deluded herself into believing that he is using a health issue as an excuse; an excuse to get out of entering his limp ficus (again) in the upcoming 9th Annual Infomaniac Garden Photos Contest.

LX, if we must see you off, The Mistress will see to it that you are hooked up intravenously to the Vodka Fountain. 

Oh, and Mr. Lax? You're a winner. You never really had to ask...