Monday, March 25, 2013

Eastover Greetings

Here at Infomaniac, we combine Passover (for our 3.5 Jewish Bitches) with Easter, thus creating EASTOVER...



Jewish Bitches: Remember to burn your chametz.

But be careful!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

The Seven Year Bitch Celebration

As you know, March 23rd marks the SEVENTH ANNIVERSARY of Infomaniac.

If I don't show up right away, start the party without me!


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The Vodka Fountain and the Gincuzzi are open, Bitches.

Thanks for a fab seven years...and more to come!

Sunday, March 17, 2013

The Seven Year Bitch

March 23rd marks Infomaniac's SEVENTH anniversary.

And a Bitch is tired.


[thanks, Thom!]

Mistress MJ has to put her feet up when it comes to blogging.

Seven years of amusing you Bitches, day in and day out, has taken its toll.

2,715 posts can do that to a Bitch. But who's counting?

Not only that but Mistress MJ's schedule this year has picked up the pace what with The World Domination Tour, upcoming World Domination spin-off tours, and the ridiculous amount of paperwork that comes with it.

Let's face it. Mistress MJ simply cannot multitask like she used to...



Or perhaps she's getting older and slowing down a little and will soon be joining the likes of Mr. Peenee and Normadesmond (as seen below) at the Infomaniac Villa of Queens Old Homosexuals' Haven Retirement Home...



No, this is NOT the end...


[via]

But Mistress MJ will be posting less frequently and visiting you Bitches only when time allows.

A reminder that you can also find Mistress MJ over at The Hair Hall of Fame where, along with several other Infomaniac Bitches, she is a beautician/contributor. Have you met our manager, Mr. Cookie?...



Thanks to all of you for making the past seven years the most fun a Bitch can have without getting horizontal.

Gays Against Sunday Brunch

In which universe is this possible?


[via]

Who are they, these "Gays Against Sunday Brunch"...are they like the elusive "sports fags" I've heard tell of?

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Weekend Party Games

The fun has already started here on Infomaniac this weekend...

Friday, March 15, 2013

The Rim Gods

This month's Infomaniac Book Club selection...


[via]

Highlights? Reviews? Criticisms?

The Many Moods of Normadesmond

Norma's looking a bit crotchety...


[via]

What exactly do you suppose is going on?

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Habemus Papam!

When we last left Mr. Peenee, he was sequestered in his San Francisco rust garden awaiting the white plume of smoke to curl up from the Sistine Chapel to announce...



Habemus Papam! We have a new pope!



And the crowd goes wild!!! HALLELUJAH! Cheering by the masses and then silence as Pope Peenee addresses the faithful.

Pope Peenee announces, "Get down on your knees and kiss my ring, Bitches!"

Note: This message has been approved by the Sistine Chapel seagull...

Seagull Upstages Mr. Peenee

A seagull perched on the chimney of the Sistine Chapel has upstaged Mr. Peenee.



Ikea monkey not amused.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Smoke Signals

Will Mr. Peenee be the next pope?



As we keep Vatican vigil here at Infomaniac, we regret to inform you that black smoke billowed from the Sistine Chapel today, signaling an inconclusive first vote in the conclave to elect a new pope.

Meanwhile, a cool and collected Mr. Peenee sits sequestered in his San Francisco rust garden, awaiting the decision...



We're counting on you, Bitches, to elect Peenee as Pope.

Listen up to what Mr. Peenee himself has to say,....

"Here's the deal, just call the cardinal in your district or region or patch or whatever they call it and tell him if doesn't vote for me, you're going to have to convert to Mormonism. Or some other voodoo, doesn't really matter. Don't worry if you're not Catholic, they don't know. It's not like they're Costco and going to ask for you member card."

Will Mr. Peenee be the next pontiff?

Infomaniac will be there to keep you informed and abreast of the situation.

In the meantime, we all await that special little POOF of smoke.

Stuck on Plastic Slipcovers













Do you or someone you know use plastic slipcovers on their furniture?

Is covering everything in plastic from your sofa to your lampshades a thing of the past or is this still a common practice?

We want to hear your stories.
[most photos via]

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Open Mic Night


[via]

Following Mistress MJ's rant on the subject of modern parenting, I thought it was high time I let you Bitches take over the mic and rant about whatever is on your mind.

Note: Depending on how much you Bitches have to say, Open Mic Night may extend well into Monday.

Modern Parenting

Mistress MJ made 2 mistakes today:

1) Getting out of bed
2) Leaving the house


[via]

Whilst Mistress MJ was peacefully going about her business, purchasing a few items in a shop, a child was having a temper tantrum on the floor.

This went on for QUITE SOME TIME, with the mother standing nearby, yet ignoring him.

This is not the first time Mistress MJ has witnessed a parent letting a child carry on at an unreasonable decibel level in a public place. It seems to be the practice now of modern parents to let their children "get it out of their system" in public rather than hauling them outside so that we do not have to hear them.

Mistress MJ agrees with a shopping centre in Sydney, Australia that has taken measures to to prevent parents from letting their children run amok in the food court and "scream at the highest decibels." They put up a sign following complaints from shoppers that out-of-control children were ruining their experience. The sign, from centre management, reads: "Stop! Parents please be considerate of other customers using the food court. Screaming children will not be tolerated in the centre."



I should have stayed in bed playing show tunes.

Harumph.

*awaits hate mail from mommy bloggers*

Blogging From Bed

Following the lack of sleep due to Daylight Saving Time, Mistress MJ can't be arsed to get out of bed.

Nonetheless, I shall attempt to keep you entertained with a selection of peppy show tunes...


[via]

Come closer and gather round.



Join in the chorus, Bitches!

Saturday, March 09, 2013

Public Service Announcement #18

This is a reminder for some of us (most of us in North America) that Daylight saving time returns on Sunday, March 10, 2013.


[via]

So set your clocks ahead one hour before you go to bed.

Spring forward, Bitches!

I have no idea when or if Daylight saving time affects the rest of you in other parts of the world but here's a handy international chart if you need it.

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Happy Birthday, Miss Scarlet!

The Vodka Fountain and the Gincuzzi have been replenished for Miss Scarlet's birthday.

After all, we wouldn't want her to drink alone, would we?...

Friday, March 08, 2013

What Kind of Woman Are You, Anyway?

On this International Women's Day, we pose the question...


[via]

Once you've answered that question, pop over to Mr. Peenee's place.

If you read this post, you'll know that Mr. Peenee is in the running to be the next Pope.

As you know, tradition demands that the new pope select a papal name.

We here at Infomaniac encourage you to visit Mr. Peenee and suggest a papal name.

Happy International Women's Day, laydeez.

Thursday, March 07, 2013

How Comely Are You?

How comely are you?

Analyze your personality!



[via]

A presentation of the National Dairy Council.

Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Farewell, Stompin' Tom

Stompin' Tom Connors, OC, (February 9, 1936 – March 6, 2013)



A folksinging, foot-stompin’ troubadour and Canadian music legend, Stompin’ Tom Connors wrote songs about Canada including my personal favourite, Sudbury Saturday Night...


(filmed at the Horseshoe Tavern, Toronto, circa 1973)

Oh, the girls are out to bingo
And the boys are gettin' stinko
And we think no more of Inco
On a Sudbury Saturday night

I once posted this photo of Stompin' Tom and asked if you could foreigners could identify him...



The following are just some of your answers...

Mago: “Mr. "I had my best time 1970"”

Eroswings: “K.D. Lang! Wait...this one is wearing shoes. It's Ian Tyson.”

Ayem8y: “K. D. Lang or Shania Twain - It’s un clear, I’m unfamiliar with Canadian Country singers and I thought you only had the two.”

Kapitano: “Neil Young”

Miss Scarlet: "The man who invented Crocs."

Though he may not have been a household name abroad, Stompin' Tom ranked thirteenth on the Greatest Canadian List.

Stompin' Tom on a Canadian postage stamp...



Stompin' Tom: A great Canadian who will be missed by Canucks from coast to coast to coast.

Let's give Stompin' Tom the final word...

"Hello friends, I want all my fans, past, present, or future, to know that without you, there would have not been any Stompin' Tom."

"It was a long hard bumpy road, but this great country kept me inspired with it's beauty, character, and spirit, driving me to keep marching on and devoted to sing about its people and places that make Canada the greatest country in the world."

"I must now pass the torch, to all of you, to help keep the Maple Leaf flying high, and be the Patriot Canada needs now and in the future."

"I humbly thank you all, one last time, for allowing me in your homes, I hope I continue to bring a little bit of cheer into your lives from the work I have done."

Sincerely,

Your Friend always,

Stompin' Tom Connors

Cock Photos

This is the result I get when I search Google Images for "cock"...


Man with a big cock

Until recently, if I searched for "cock" (not that I often did, mind you) I would get plenty of images like this...


Oh, hello AyeM8y

That's because I always used Google's "no filtering" option.

Not so long ago, I had three options available to me when searching images: "strict" filtering (no explicit content), "moderate" filtering (the default setting), or no filtering (everything including NSFW images).

Well, guess what?

The "no filtering" option is no longer available to me!

Before you tell me that I can adjust my settings on Google's "Search Preference Page"...no, I can't. Google no longer allows me to do that. Turning SafeSearch off is no longer an option.

But as luck would have it, I discovered that I can find plenty of cock if I search some of Google's international sites. For instance, using "Google France" or "Google Germany" let's me see all the cock I can handle!

Long story short...Google has tweaked its Safe Search filter to hinder your access to naughty images in some English-speaking countries. However, they haven't yet tweaked certain international sites and that's why I can still find French cock...Oh là là!...and German cock...Achtung, baby!

And so began my search to find an explanation.

Thankfully, I found an answer on a site called The Verge. You can read their post about Google Images filtering HERE. I encourage you to read the post for more details.

And, in reading this article, I found that there's a way to work around the problem. If you want to see NSFW images, simply add "xxx" or "porn" somewhere in your search query.

Example: cock xxx or cock porn

Or, you can try Bing Images.

But frankly, all this nonsense puts me in this sort of mood...


[via]

And now over to you Bitches.

Is "no filtering" still an option for you or has your "no filtering" option been disabled too?

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

BYOB

Bring your own booze from now on, Bitches.



Mistress MJ is not one to cry over spilled milk, but as you can see, she truly has a liquor shopping lament.

Saturday, March 02, 2013

Gone Liquor Shopping


[via]

You Bitches have exhausted the supply.

If you continue to go through the liquor cabinet like there's no tomorrow, Mistress MJ will be forced to purchase the "All Purpose Liquor" next time...



Back on Monday.

Friday, March 01, 2013

Filthy Friday

Click to enlarge...


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