Bake-Off Bitchfight

Looks like things are heating up in the Infomaniac test kitchens as preparations get underway for the Kitchen Queen Contest!

Mistress MJ entered the kitchen to find Cookie (left) giving the stink eye to Norma...



At that point, the doorbell rang and Mistress MJ left to attend to the delivery boy.

Hearing a ruckus in the kitchen, Mistress MJ returned to discover that Norma had pushed Cookie's fat ass into the oven!


[thanks, Montreal Jon!]

Norma's voice rang out throughout the kitchen...

"BTW COOKIE, I'VE PAINTED MY ENTIRE KITCHEN JUNGLE RED!"

The competition is FIERCE, Bitches.

Get YOUR entry in by October 31st.

Details here.

If You Can’t Stand the Heat, Get Out of the Kitchen

The Infomaniac Kitchen Queen Contest is heating up!

Over at Norma’s place, sparks are flying in the battle to wear the Kitchen Queen crown.

Let’s listen in, shall we?

COOKIE: “Clean all you want, but I shall be victorious.”

NORMA: “Oh my, battle lines are being drawn. Does anyone know if Cookie's claws are retractable?”

PEENEE: “Ha. You going down bitch. I have my secret Stuffed Eggs recipe just waiting.”

Who’s your money on, Bitches?

And how are you coming along with your recipe entry?

CONTEST DEADLINE: October 31st.

Jill vs CyberPete Smackdown!

It’s a tiebreaker, bitches!

Jill and CyberPete have tied in the battle for the High Maintenance Queen crown and now they must battle it out in a no holds barred smackdown!



This promises to be the bitchfight of the year, ladies and gentlemen!

Book NOW for your ringside seat as seating is limited.

Bring your own booze.

Free condoms and corndogs with price of admission.


Corndogs provided by runner-up Ms. Nations


Who will take home the crown?

Place your bets for Infomaniac’s next High Maintenance Queen.

Who is your money riding on?




Note: A big round of applause for our losers runners-up: Michael Guy and First Nations (tied for 1st runner-up) and Kevin (trailing toilet tissue from his heels as he attempts to catch up to Michael and Ms. Nations.)

Happy Birthday, Anonymous Boxer!

Join me in wishing a happy birthday to one of Infomaniac’s newest readers: Anonymous Boxer from Seattle, Washington, USA.




As you can see in the photo above, she has challenged me in the ring.

We are rivals for the pee-stained cap of Old Knudsen.




Knudsen's cap



I know some of you other bitches want the cap too but it’s rightfully mine.







George Clooney, give me back the cap, bitch!

You can read here how the cap fell into Clooney’s hands.

Anyway, back to the boxing match between me and Boxer.

Have you placed your bets?

I’ll give Boxer a good bitch slapping. Just the way I did here to Celine Dion.







It’s Celine’s birthday today too. Coincidence? I think not!

Three-Way Bitch Fight!

MJ vs MAIDY & FIRST NATIONS!

THE CLEAN CANUCK vs THE DIRTY AMERICAN BITCHES!



Ringside seats still available!

You’ve witnessed bitch fights here before between that American Psycho Bitch Maidy and me.

But now, those TWO filthy American bitches, Maidy AND First Nations have declared war on me… separately. But I’m bringing them here together under one roof for a showdown.


This is how it looks when Maidy and I get down and dirty…



brutal


Really, the only reason Maidy wants to fight me is so she has an excuse to feel me up. Horny bitch that she is. To appease her, I pretend to like it.

Maidy’s just popped a sprog and she’s back in fighting form. But now she has a secret weapon that she can use against me….

CAUTION...


NSFW pic coming up…






If she squirts me in the eye, I don’t stand a chance.



As for First Nations (FN), she’s a tough-talkin’ motorcycle mama and I can only imagine the mayhem that will ensue when she tries to take me on. I’m guessing this will be the scene…









FN and I have issues over fellow blogger Old Knudsen. You see, both FN and I are hardcore Knudsenites.



FN wants to hump him. I just want him to bring me my tea. I told her there’s enough Knudsen for everybody but will she listen? So it’s time to take a swing at her if I can dodge her big tits and even bigger gob.

Don’t expect her ‘round here right away. She sleeps ‘til noon Pacific Standard Time and then it takes her a couple of hours to put her slap on.

Right! Let the action begin!

All 3 bitches in this fight reside in North America so don’t expect the first swing ‘til later.

And the rest of you? Feel free to jump in and referee any time. Or just cheer me on.

Are you ready to rrrrumble?

Blogger Bitches

Last night I received a lovely pome by email from none other than our SID (Stupid Irish Daddy.)

SID: The Poet Laureate of Northern Ireland.

SID: The Bard of Bitch Fights, himself.



MJ & Maidy before reading SID's pome



Blogger Bitches

By SID


Is that a ladder in your tights?
Was often heard on February nights
As Maidy and MJ undressed delights,
For their filthy cat bitch fights

How it started? No-one knows
Canuck and Yank as history goes
Two countries, shite, we all agree
"C'mon! They've started and it’s free!"

The favourite is the pregnant Yank
The other one just likes to wank
The bloggers two, oh filthy pair
"Oh look she's grabbed her by the hair"

A pube is ripped from skin so soft
And held by Maidy's hand aloft
MJ screams ...."you dirty cow"
Stilletto heels are piercing now

Geo snaps, a pic is taken!
A breast slipped out, if I'm not mistaken
Cream and mud is thrown by all
The pervs who often like to call

Teeth and legs and scratches too
You can't get better in the zoo
The felines brace and down once more
As MJ tries for oral score

Their fighting now all through the days
The names, the taunts, the filthy ways
For me a Catholic, it is a sin
So why the fuck can't I join in?

Alas, this fights' for brazen hussies
Tarnished nails and broken gussies
And so we watch these bitches brawl
Dirty cunts yes, you and all!




MJ & Maidy after reading SID’s pome

Bitch Fight! Carly vs Maidy vs MJ

Has it really been five days since the last bitch fight?

"PERGnant" American Psycho-Bitch-From-Hell Maidy continues to get on my tits therefore the catfight continues.

And look who’s joining in!

It’s none other than Carly of Dorset, England and her spectacular double D’s.




Carly’s fun pillows


(Carly, for those of you who don’t already know, is the long-suffering wife of that filthy mong Steve.)

Let’s hear it for foreign relations, folks.

An American, A Canuck and a Brit fighting it out for top bitch.

We fight dirty! . . .






But wait!

It looks like more than the gloves are coming off! . . .







So which cuntry are you supporting?

Bitch Fight! La Troisième Partie

Time out!

There’s no point posting today as Maidy’s husband Geo has done all the work for me in his “Bitch fight takes a break” post.

Thanks, Geo. You’re a real sport.

Bitch Fight! Part Deux

(click to enlarge)

American-Psycho-Bitch-From-Hell Maidy and I are knackered from yesterday’s knockdown, no-holds-barred catfight.

The bitchfight was, if I may quote Dorset mong Steve, “Fucking clamtastic!”

We’re taking it easy today with a little light slap 'n' tickle session as pictured above.

Please leave a comment or caption on your way out.

Bitch Fight!

The gloves are off!

It's the catfight you've been waiting for.

American-Psycho-Bitch-From-Hell Maidy vs Infomaniac Canucklehead MJ

Who’s your money on?

We’ve thrown the rulebook out the window so tell us what you wanna see.

Truce

Maidink and I, in the interest of foreign relations, have declared a truce. Not only here but on Maidink's blog as well.

The pic in this posting is for Piggy, who insists we carry on scrapping.

Behold: The Power of MJ

Maidink mentioned recently that I could probably kick her ass with one leg tied behind my back.

Too right Maidink. Too right.




MJ warms up as she prepares to give Maidink a good swift arse-kicking



MJ vs. Maidink. Who’s your money on?