Remembering Piggy...With The Bristol Stool Scale

“I'll have you lot know that my poo's are slender and sleek, smell of Calvin Klein 1 and are carried down gently into the toilet water by dainty little butterflies.”
- Piggy

In memory of our beloved friend Piggy, Infomaniac presents The Bristol Stool Scale.

The Bristol stool scale or Bristol stool chart is a medical aid designed to classify the form of human faeces into seven categories. Types 1 and 2 indicate constipation, with 3 and 4 being the "ideal stools" especially the latter, as they are the easiest to pass, and 5-7 being further tending towards diarrhoea or urgency.

It was, in fact, Piggy who introduced us all to the chart and reported daily on the state of his stool.

Why not use it yourselves, Bitches?

Mistress MJ misses you terribly, Piggy, but your stool scale, like your arse, will live on here at Infomaniac.

May 5th - Quadruple Celebration!

It’s fiesta time here on Infomaniac as we celebrate FOUR fun-filled events!

1. Cinco de Mayo…

[via Zenfancy]

2. World Naked Gardening Day…

3. Ms. First Nations’ birthday…

Shouldn’t you be nekkid in your garden today, Ms. Nations?


4. The Supermoon...

A super moon can look 14% bigger and up to 30% brighter than a normal full moon. Just like Piggy's arse!


Everybody grab your hose and your Tequila Guns and let’s party!

Piggy Day

It’s been a year since you fecked off and left us, Piggy.

I MUST have this ring to wear in remembrance of you!…

No words can express how much I miss you.

So I’ll say it with flowers…

[via Thombeau]

Thanks for all the laughter and good times.

What’s that you say?...



You ALWAYS had to have the last word, didn’t you?

Filthy Friday – Blame Piggy

I remember the day I innocently stumbled upon Tazzy and Piggy’s blog. They’d posted a photo of a giant turd in a toilet. I’ve forgotten the accompanying text they’d written but what I do recall is that it was side-splittingly hilarious. I was at once repulsed yet attracted to those two Yorkshire poofs and came back for more the next day. I got hooked on their marvelous mix of humour and naughtiness and they, in turn, began volleying my comments box with their own special brand of filth.

I blame Piggy and Tazzy for taking this from a charming little blog to the cesspool that is today’s Infomaniac.

In celebration of both Piggy Week and Filthy Friday, we present to you Piggy’s arse…

Piggy’s arse is so popular here on Infomaniac that it has its own label. (See below the post).

And straight from Piggy’s mouth, a description of the tattoo on his arse…

For those wondering, the tattoo reads 'Arsenal' under a pic of a cannon.
For the non-Brit's, Arsenal is my fave football team (that's soccer for those barmy yanks).

Thank you, Piggy, for the wonder that was your arse.

It will be immortalized here on Infomaniac.

Forever and ever.

Amen.

While You’re Waiting

While you’re patiently waiting for our Men of Infomaniac post, why don’t you enjoy a moment or two with Piggy’s arse? …





Be sure to return on Sunday when we'll be putting you slack-arsed bitches to work!

Piggy: The Early Years

You’re all familiar with Yorkshire’s biggest poof, Piggy, aren’t you?


Piggy in Penistone


Or at least you’ve all seen his arse…


Piggy’s arse


But how many of you have seen a childhood photo of Piggy?

Well here it is…


Photo via [SexyPeople]

Filthy Friday

Since becoming a member yesterday of Blogger’s “Content Warning” club, we wondered, “What can we post for our first xxx-tra Filthy Friday?”

So we dug into our photo folders and found our most objectionable image…


Piggy’s arse

Happy Birthday, Tazzy!

Happy 40th Birthday, Tazzy!




Here's our Tazzy. So big, so butch...




Taz is the better half of the Tazzy and Piggy Collective.

I think you'll agree he's the better half when you see his wee ginger wifey Piggy...




But the comparisons don't stop there. Oh no.

Feast your eyes on Tazzy's superior botty...




Now here's Piggy's arse looking like a dropped pie...



No comparison.

Tazzy, we wish you well on your fortieth birthday.

And remember, no matter how old you get you'll always be MUCH younger than Piggy.

A toast, everyone, to one of Yorkshire's finest poofs!

Piggy's Arse

This posting is dedicated to Beast who informs me that he must view Piggy’s Arse to maintain his precious chi.

Filthy Friday – Piggy’s Starfish

You’ve seen his arse a million times...


Piggy’s arse


Butt now see Piggy’s starfish!…





I know, I know. Some of you have already seen this posting on his blog but for those who haven’t, I’m taking the liberty of giving his arse more air time here on mine.

Google Searches – Day 8

Today: Google searches on Infomaniac looking for Tazzy and Piggy.

GOOGLE SEARCHES LOOKING FOR PIGGY



Was the first caveman ginger?


Gingers
Eye-watering fart
Vile cunt




Erotic love piggy




Piggy toenail polish
Male buttocks moon photo
Knob cheese gay




Little Piggy butt plug


Butt plug stuck in butt
Amazing turd
pantyhose piggy
Filthy Scot
Pork faggot
Nipple gets hard video
never call a scot a brit




naughty boys with no underwear


tweezer penis
shit streak underwear
novelty saggy testicles
Trousers, revealing the tiniest 'willie
pubic time-lapse
arse pimples



GOOGLE SEARCHES LOOKING FOR TAZZY



Taz tired


Tazzy underwear
Sailor outfit on Tazzy
Lord of the Totty
Daddy bear
Yorkshire translator
TAZZY PUSSY



ridiculous headgear




GOOGLE SEARCHES LOOKING FOR TAZZY & PIGGY TOGETHER



Dirtiest slags in the UK


World’s biggest cunts
Stupid Englishmen from Yorkshire
Barnsley gay cruising
Fuckfinder
Gloryhole toilets in Yorkshire
Gay gloryholes in Yorkshire



Old cunts over 60

Miserable cunts
Barnsley slang
Fisting diagram
Ream and scream dildo
Old trannies
they both wear pantyhose
stupidest city in Britain




Naked British roller coaster riders



cunts under tables
Barnsley slang
Fancy a fuck in Barnsley
Drunkest place in the UK
Naked blokes
bumfun pics
fat old men pissing



hairy men


filthy old bitches

Blogging Roundup

A peek at ‘the week that was’ with a handful of Infomaniac’s readers.

This edition of The Roundup concentrates only on the big stories that happened this week. Complaints? If so, this is all I have to say…




The big news items were as follows:

1) Piggy’s arse
2) IVD’s mysterious disappearance
3) First Nations' entry into the Knudsen Nation


PIGGY’S ARSE:


Always a topic of conversation at dinner parties, our lead story is Piggy’s Arse. This has to be THE flabbiest lump of lard I’ve ever seen.

Observe for yourself…






Thanks go out to Smunty the Cabin Boy for this photographic deed of derring-do. Smunty, our intrepid photographer, braved the gaseous fumes emanating from this mound of misshapen flesh so that we might gaze upon the horror for ourselves.

Those wishing a diversion can play “Connect the Dots with the Liver Spots.”

And ace reporter SID reveals that Piggy’s sadsack arse received international coverage when National Geographic hit the newsstands…





Thanks SID. Though I chose not to use the 3-D glasses that came with that issue.




THE MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE OF IVD:



IVD in happier times before he became responsible for The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts



IVD (Inexplicable DeVice) has been strangely silent lately. We’ve waited weeks for that little fairy to don The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts and to hold the Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition as so many of us have bravely done before him.

Ace reporter SID was on this case like shit to a blanket.

SID’s heightened powers of deduction, combined with copious amounts of whiskey, led him to conclude that IVD suffers from PSS: Pre Shorts Syndrome.




IVD attempts to bury The Shorts



I’ve been doing a bit of detective work myself and discovered that IVD’s been arrested for stealing bras, knickers and stockings!

Using the alias of Robert Boyd, IVD held up staff at a Belfast lingerie shop disguised in a wig, hat and glasses.

And here’s the clincher…

He told the court he had been involved in a role-playing game at the time, and his character was an elf named Beho. He denies robbery but says he may have blurred reality and fantasy.





If IVD makes bail, chances are he’ll skip the country in an attempt to avoid posting The Shorts compo. How can he resist with an offer like this?…








FIRST NATIONS:





Earlier this month, I was inducted into what I thought was an exclusive club: The Knudsen Nation. And proud I was.

But then that cunt Eddie Waring snuck in under the radar and got himself a VIP pass.

And now that First Nations has made the A-list, it’s obvious that Knudsen is letting in the riffraff.

Congratulations, FN. I don’t know what services you’re providing to Old Knudsen to merit membership but good on ya.



I can’t leave you with retinal burn from that photo of Piggy’s arse so I offer you Tazzy’s beauteous botty…



Tazzy slips out of his control-top mantyhose

Blogging Roundup

A peek at ‘the week that was’ with a handful of Infomaniac’s readers.

I tried to get ‘round to all of you but listening to Taz and Pig’s long, drawn-out podcast took my entire Sunday evening so apologies to those I’ve missed.





The great British Biscuit Trial continues as I crunched my way this week through a packet of McVitie’s Dark Chocolate Digestives.

All this biscuit-munching may result in an arse like Piggy’s if I don’t limit my intake…





Ha! You thought I was going to post this photo, didn’t you?…





Let’s see what the rest of you have been up to…


TAZZY AND PIGGY:



Piggy and Tazzy: mongs with mics.


If you have fuck-all to do with the next 50 minutes of your life, give a listen to Taz and Pig’s podcast.

Actually, just listen to the first few minutes as I, MJ, do the introduction and I lead in with one of my favourite songs, “Be My Baby” by the Ronettes. Everything else on the podcast is shite.

So for those of you who rightly can’t be bothered to listen to the whole boring podcast, apart, of course, from my intro, here’s the gist of it…

Taz and Pig slag us all off.

IVD, the “poor skinny little fucker” is urged to “pull your finger out of your bony arse and get a fuckin’ pic of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts on your blog.”

SID’s hard-on is a topic of conversation as SID is assumed to be “playing the podcast in his car, fiddling with his willy as he drives along the motorway” in his “soggy crotchless panties.” Now that I believe. Let’s hear more about his thigh fat next time though, eh boys?

Piggy relates how he made the Smunts’ children cry and he describes them as “little bastards” who may not be Smunty’s kids at all. It’s also revealed that the Smunts’ house is infested with fleas and that the Smunts make a shite cuppa tea. And, no surprise here, we learn that Taz and Pig had to fight Smunty the Cabin Boy off in the sauna.

Taz and Pig wager on who will win in the “Two Dirty Slappers” Maidy/MJ bitchfight. Their money’s on Maidy, that “lazy bitch who took three fuckin’ years to read Harry Potter” and whose “gaping cunt looks like two bits of sloppy liver slapping together.”

We are treated to hearing Piggy fart on the microphone instead of his usual M.O. of farting under the quilt or on Tazzy’s thigh.

We learn that Tazzy has a “silky anus.”

Lots of “mmm,” “aye,” and “oink” as Taz and Pig are incapable of speaking English without all of us consulting our Yorkshire-English dictionaries.

And finally, you two can fuck off with your planned Sunday night podcasts versus my Monday morning Blogging Roundups. I’d put a stop to that idea right now if I were you.

And who are you calling a dirty slag?

Mmm. Aye. Oink.




SID:


SID humping hugging a tree.


The Oirish Cunt heaved his fat arse to the top of Slieve Donard where, unfortunately, no one pushed him off.




GEO:





Geo poses his young daughter’s Barbie dolls in compromising positions as they simulate a Maidy/MJ bitchfight.

The perv.



MAIDY:





Dumbass mistakes the open window on her vehicle for a clean window and flings her leather card carrier out.



KAPITANO:

Kapi lists a variety of subjects in the school curriculum…

Nature Study



Women's Health



American History





KAZ:





Kaz reveals that on the night that Elvis died, she was table dancing in a seedy underground nightclub in Belgium.



THE SMUNTS:



Piggy (Gollum) and Carly’s mammoth mammary.


Plenty of piccies of The Smuntyville Horror Part 2 aka Tazzy and Piggy visit the Smunts.




BETTY:



Clive Jenkins: Hot? Or not?


Betty asks, “WHO WAS THE MOST ATTRACTIVE TRADE UNION LEADER?”



GEOFF:





Geoff critiques forthcoming attractions at the Dartford Orchard Theatre.




FIRST NATIONS:





FN continues her holiday travelogue. That’s her above as a local farmer urges her to try his corn.




EDDIE WARING:





British ex-pat Waring wastes his money on American beer.

“I drank 5 fuckin' pints and probably pissed 15 times, all I got was a headache.”




BILLY:





Billy asks who would you do if you batted for the other team.




IVD (INEXPLICABLE DeVICE):





IVD is awol (stalling for time to avoid posting The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts compo) as he’s servicing the employees of the London Underground.




OLD KNUDSEN:



Graham Norton's arse.


Knudsen presents tits, arse, and the Gangs of Glasgow.




TICKERS:





Tickers snuggles (but with who? a sheep?) whilst wearing an old dog coat and eating cauliflower cheese.




AWAITING:





Our Mississippi Mama Awa is back!

And she’s brought her bigass titties with her.



AND FINALLY…



MJ’s pussy


Remember to email me pics of your animal friends this week. I’ll post ‘em on Sunday, August 26th.