It’s time to announce the winners of Infomaniac’s
Baby Pic Competition!
The grand prize winners for matching the most baby pics to the bloggers are
TAZZY AND PIGGY! They had more correct answers than any of the rest of you lot so bow down to their greatness.
Here are the correct answers…
THE BOYS:
Baby #1 ...
TAZZY
Pudgy, pudgy, pudgy, pudgy, pudgy, pudgy, pudgy, pudgy, pudgy, pudgy.
Which part is pudgiest? The face? The arse? The moobs? Discuss.
The Smunts, SID, and Kaz all guessed Tazzy correctly.
CyberPete and Frobi thought it was SID. No doubt because of the fat arse.
Rimshot thought it was CyberPete.
And IVD thought it was my fellow Canuck, Homo Escapeons (HE). Sure, this is the land of cold and ice but NO ONE needs an arse that pudgy in Canada to get through the winter! I’ve seen baby seals with less blubber!
Baby #2 ...
SID
No votes for “Poofiest?” What’s WRONG with you people? Clearly this is a poof-in-training!
The only one who correctly identified SID was Kaz. Well done, Kaz. If he had turned around, the rest of you would have noticed the fat arse in the making but I guess you were distracted previously by Tazzy’s wide load.
Tazzy and Piggy thought SID was HE. THAT is an insult to Canadians.
CyberPete thought it was Old Knudsen. Probably because, like Knudsie, SID has old, bitter balls.
The Smunts guessed it was Frobi while Frobi and Rimshot thought it was IVD. Tee hee.
IVD said, “It's Smunty, although it could easily be CyberSailor.”
Little SID receives MJ’s vote for “Baby I Would Most Like to Breastfeed.”
Baby #3 ...
CYBERPETE
Those who know a Danish poof pastry when they see one are Tazzy and Piggy, The Smunts, Kaz, and IVD.
IVD said, “It’s CyberSailor but I want it to be Smunty the Cabin Boy.”
Well apparently SID and Frobi wanted it to be Smunty the Cabin Boy too as they BOTH said it was Smunty!
SID said, “Without a doubt Cabin Boy AND the poofiest.”
And Rimshot thought it was Tazzy!
*MJ pauses to catch breath and get back up off floor from busting a gut laffing over all the above wrong guesses*
Baby #4 ...
SMUNTY STEVE
This little lady has poofter written all over him, wouldn’t you agree?
Smunty was spotted correctly only by Tazzy and Piggy.
CyberPete was under the illusion that it’s Connie while SID thought it was CyberPete.
Frobi said it’s Old Knudsen while Rimshot thought it was Frobi and IVD thought it was Rimshot.
Kaz said, “It’s IVD. And he’s both the cutest AND the poofiest.”
What’s with the bucket? Is he collecting money for a sex change?
Baby #5 ...
OLD KNUDSEN
Lil Ole Knudsie was the baby most of you guessed correctly. Correct answers came from everyone except CyberPete who thought it was Rimshot, and Frobi who thought it was Tazzy.
He looked like a feisty little scrapper even back then, didn’t he?
I bet he bit his mam’s nipples off.
Baby #6 ...
INEXPLICABLE DeVICE (IVD)
This wee witchy from Norfolk was the blogger who received the second most correct guesses.
Several of you spotted our fave witch right away, even without seeing his scrawny legs. Correct answers were from Tazzy and Piggy, CyberPete, The Smunts, and SID.
However, Frobi thought it was Rimshot, Rimshot thought it was Smunty, and Kaz thought it was Frobi.
Surprisingly, he received only one vote for “Poofiest.” That, of course, was from CyberPete.
What’s with the furry dice, IVD?
This little fella would go on to become the blogger with the most cavernous mansnatch. Who knew?
Baby #7 ...
FROBI
Beauty and the Beast.
I recognized this little imp even without his wig on! And sans a handsome Spanish cabana boy at his side. And Tazzy and Piggy, CyberPete, and IVD recognized him too.
However, the Smunts thought it was Rimshot, SID thought it was HE, Rimshot thought it was SID, and Kaz thought it was Connie.
Wanna tell us what monkey business you’re up to, Frobi?
Baby #8 ...
CONNIE THE CONVICT (at left)
Correct guesses for Connie came in from Tazzy and Piggy, SID, and Rimshot.
CyberPete and IVD both guessed it was Tazzy. Because of the vest, right? Tazzy always wears that horrible brown and white stripey vest and this was an early indication of fashion faux pas to come.
The Smunts thought it was SID. Why? Because of his poor taste in wallpaper?
Frobi said CyberPete and Kaz guessed HE.
Is little Tatas giving you a lap dance in this photo, Connie?
Baby #9 ...
HOMO ESCAPEONS (HE)
The only Canucklehead boy in the bunch, our HE was guessed correctly by The Smunts, Frobi, Rimshot, and FN.
HE was mistaken for Rimshot by Tazzy and Piggy, SID, and Kaz.
CyberPete mistook him for Smunty.
FN and I were particularly thrilled by the retro kitchen.
And the gaping gob indicates a natural-born raconteur.
Baby #10 ...
RIMSHOT
Some of you thought Rimshot was Connie! Those who guessed this is Connie were The Smunts, Frobi, and IVD.
Tazzy and Piggy thought it was SID. I guess Taz and Pig were thinking of that goofy baby photo of SID that he posted long ago… this one…
CyberPete guessed that Rimshot was HE. SID said it’s Frobi. And Kaz figured it’s Smunty.
A newcomer to Infomaniac, Rimshot turned out to be a real crowd pleaser. More on that later.
THE GIRLS:
Baby #11 ...
CARLY
Cheeky little Miss Carly (catch that mischievous glint in her eyes) was guessed correctly by CyberPete, SID, and IVD.
Frobi guessed her as FN, while Rimshot and Kaz said it’s Tatas.
Smunty was threatened with physical abuse if he didn’t vote her as Cutest. If that crazed, teeth-clenching pose is any indication, it looks like she was ready to bite Smunty’s todger off even back then.
*frankly, I think she looks a little deranged*
Baby #12 ...
KAZ
Excuse me, Kaz, but does it snow in Manchester? On Coronation Street, it only snows there once a year, on Christmas Day.
Anyway, Kaz was guessed correctly by CyberPete and Rimshot.
Although CyberPete will be getting a kick upside the head for saying, “No 12 looks like a photo of my mother. The coat is fabulous! That said, my mother is 63 years old.” Way to go, CyberStupid.
Tazzy and Piggy, SID, and IVD guessed incorrectly by saying it’s FN, The Smunts and Tatas said it’s MJ, and Frobi said it’s Tatas.
Tatas, who can always be relied on to bring the level of conversation down a notch, suggested that’s a vibrator under the snowman’s arm. Well, Kaz…is it?
Baby #13 ...
FIRST NATIONS (FN)
The blogger above doesn’t have any baby pics so instead she’s sent a representation that closely depicts her upbringing
Those who guessed correctly were CyberPete, Rimshot, and Kaz.
The Smunts said it’s Tatas.
Tazzy and Piggy, SID, Frobi and IVD all guessed it was Kaz, probably because I’m always pointing out that Kaz has a bottle.
FN, enlighten us more on your first beer, if you wish. Was your first the best?
Baby #14 ...
TATAS
You can see right from the get-go what a wailing, crazy bitch this one would grow up to be.
Tatas was correctly identified by Tazzy and Piggy, SID, and IVD.
The Smunts mistook Tatas for FN, while Frobi and Kaz thought it was Carly.
CyberPete and Rimshot had the nerve to suggest that it’s me! How very dare you!
What are you doing in that pic, Tatas? Digging a hole to bury your future husband?
Looks like quite a load in those nappies, too.
Baby #15 ...
MJ
Photo removed.
Yes. MJ is “The Knicker Flasher.”
I was correctly identified by Tazzy and Piggy, SID, Frobi, IVD and Kaz.
CyberPete got it horribly wrong by guessing I’m Tatas, The Smunts said I’m Kaz, and Rimshot said I’m Carly.
All of you failed to mention how adorable I am. Points deducted.
CUTEST BABY:
Most of you vain bitches voted YOURSELVES as Cutest Baby.
But credit goes to Frobi and IVD for seeing the beauty beyond their own noses.
Therefore the winner of the “Cutest Baby” title is …
RIMSHOT!
Having said all that,
Rimshot the Rimmer voted for himself. Conceited Kraut.
POOFIEST BABY:
It was a tight race in the Poofiest Baby category.
Baby #3 was in the lead but at the last minute, an email came through from First Nations (FN) that would change the course of history.
The result? A
TIE between #3
CyberPoof and #4
Smunty Steve in the Poofiest baby category!
CYBERPETE!
Looks like he’s on his way to a Pride Parade, doesn’t he?
Get beat up in school much, CyberPoof?
SMUNTY STEVE!
Smunty’s shoulder-baring, Flashdance-style, come-hither look reeled in the little boys from all over the seashore.
And with that sexy, windswept hair, who could resist?
Is that an exposed nipple?
In fairness, prizes will go to both these winners.
But I’d like to hear more from you about this. Suppose we held a “Poof-Off” where one tries to out-poof the other. What would they have to do to prove their poofiness? And who would win?
Wondering what delightful tat the winners will receive? Stay tuned Friday when the poxy prizes in all categories will be announced.
Thanks to all you bitches who submitted photos and to those of you who participated in the compo. You were ALL adorable babies and children. What the fuck happened?
