Number 153 of my 154 drafty drafts...
[via]
Click photo to enlarge.
It's particularly appropriate to my little corner of the world in early February.
Showing posts with label snow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snow. Show all posts
Saturday, February 06, 2021
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
Snow Pants
For those of you in milder climes who have never seen SNOW PANTS, behold...
Snow pants are bulky, insulated, waterproof, windproof trousers designed to keep you warm and dry when the temperature plummets. They're ideal if you engage in winter sports, live almost anywhere in Canada or spend a lot of time waiting for public transit on frigid days.
They usually have an elasticized waist, making it easy to slip them over your regular trousers.
Most snow pants have boot gaiters: an elasticized cuff on the inner bottom of the pants. On days with deep snowfall, these gaiters prevent the snow from filling up your boots.
Many folk would not be caught dead in snow pants after the age of FIVE but those of us who require an extra layer of warmth are willing to look ridiculous.
Only last week, I ventured out to the ravine for a walk when I sunk up to my hips in snow. Yes, that's how deep it was and thankfully, I was wearing my snow pants.
Rather embarrassingly, snow pants make a swishing sound as you walk; the result of the fabric from one leg rubbing against the other leg. You cannot walk quietly in snow pants.
Go on and laugh at this fashion folly. The Mistress has restocked the "Banned" stickers and is ready to use them.
Note: We are aware that the British word for underpants is "pants" so extra "Banned" stickers have been ordered for anyone thinking, "oh how funny...The Mistress wears snow underpants!"
Snow pants are bulky, insulated, waterproof, windproof trousers designed to keep you warm and dry when the temperature plummets. They're ideal if you engage in winter sports, live almost anywhere in Canada or spend a lot of time waiting for public transit on frigid days.
They usually have an elasticized waist, making it easy to slip them over your regular trousers.
Most snow pants have boot gaiters: an elasticized cuff on the inner bottom of the pants. On days with deep snowfall, these gaiters prevent the snow from filling up your boots.
Many folk would not be caught dead in snow pants after the age of FIVE but those of us who require an extra layer of warmth are willing to look ridiculous.
Only last week, I ventured out to the ravine for a walk when I sunk up to my hips in snow. Yes, that's how deep it was and thankfully, I was wearing my snow pants.
Rather embarrassingly, snow pants make a swishing sound as you walk; the result of the fabric from one leg rubbing against the other leg. You cannot walk quietly in snow pants.
Go on and laugh at this fashion folly. The Mistress has restocked the "Banned" stickers and is ready to use them.
Note: We are aware that the British word for underpants is "pants" so extra "Banned" stickers have been ordered for anyone thinking, "oh how funny...The Mistress wears snow underpants!"
Monday, March 20, 2017
Somewhere, it is Spring
The first day of spring officially begins on Monday, March 20, 2017.
But not in Canada, it seems.
We hope it's much more springlike wherever you are, Bitches.
But not in Canada, it seems.
We hope it's much more springlike wherever you are, Bitches.
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Ten Inches
I'm getting a good 10 inches, Sunday through Monday.
25 centimetres equals about 10 inches.
The Mistress will have to fire up The MistressMobile at an ungawdly hour to get to work. Catch you later, Bitches.
25 centimetres equals about 10 inches.
The Mistress will have to fire up The MistressMobile at an ungawdly hour to get to work. Catch you later, Bitches.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Wenis Wednesday - Snowfall Edition
A record 50 cm (20 inches) of snow fell yesterday.
UPDATE: Apparently, it was MORE than 50 cm. And it's still snowing!
UPDATE: Apparently, it was MORE than 50 cm. And it's still snowing!
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Tuesday, January 07, 2014
Thursday, January 02, 2014
Public Service Announcement #25
As Frank Zappa sang, "Don't you eat that yellow snow."
[via]
This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.
Note: A wind chill warning has been issued for my neck of the woods. The temperature as I speak is -26°Celsius but with the wind chill factor it feels like -37°C (-34.6 degrees Fahrenheit)! Frostbite on exposed skin may occur in less than 10 minutes. At these temperatures, we do not encourage you to pee your name in the snow, as is the Canadian custom.
[via]
This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.
Note: A wind chill warning has been issued for my neck of the woods. The temperature as I speak is -26°Celsius but with the wind chill factor it feels like -37°C (-34.6 degrees Fahrenheit)! Frostbite on exposed skin may occur in less than 10 minutes. At these temperatures, we do not encourage you to pee your name in the snow, as is the Canadian custom.
Tuesday, January 01, 2013
Canada Welcomes 2013
…with a record snowfall.
Parked cars under mounds of snow.
I thought you Bitches in milder climes might like to see this…
(It's not necessary to turn on your speakers. And those of you with no patience can fast forward to see the number of trucks coming down the street at the end.)
The video clip shows Montréal (Huggy Jon’s hometown) digging out from a recent record snowfall and there’s almost as much snow here in Mistress MJ’s little corner of the cuntry. This is a fairly typical scene from any Canadian winter.
The snow is not only being swept up…it’s being loaded onto trucks and taken to one of 29 snow elimination sites or “snow dumps” in Montréal. Would you rather we ship it to your house?
The average volume of snow taken to disposal sites in Montréal per year is 325,000 truckloads.
Following a snowstorm, it can take up to 5 days to remove the snow from the streets and sidewalks in Montréal.
For the love of all that is holy, keep out of the way of the snow removal equipment!
Oh, and did you notice those unattractive structures in front of several houses? Those are called “tempos” or “abri-tempos.” Tempos are temporary shelters designed to protect your driveway and car from the winter elements…
Tempos are ubiquitous in Québec. Almost as bad as Crocs.
But it's not ALL bad.
Someone in my neighbourhood made a snow penis. It looked something like this...
Unfortunately, by the time I returned to take a photo (for you Bitches,) someone had knocked the penis off and all that remained were a pair of snow balls.
We hope you’ve enjoyed your visit to our Winter Wonderland.
Parked cars under mounds of snow.
I thought you Bitches in milder climes might like to see this…
(It's not necessary to turn on your speakers. And those of you with no patience can fast forward to see the number of trucks coming down the street at the end.)
The video clip shows Montréal (Huggy Jon’s hometown) digging out from a recent record snowfall and there’s almost as much snow here in Mistress MJ’s little corner of the cuntry. This is a fairly typical scene from any Canadian winter.
The snow is not only being swept up…it’s being loaded onto trucks and taken to one of 29 snow elimination sites or “snow dumps” in Montréal. Would you rather we ship it to your house?
The average volume of snow taken to disposal sites in Montréal per year is 325,000 truckloads.
Following a snowstorm, it can take up to 5 days to remove the snow from the streets and sidewalks in Montréal.
For the love of all that is holy, keep out of the way of the snow removal equipment!
Oh, and did you notice those unattractive structures in front of several houses? Those are called “tempos” or “abri-tempos.” Tempos are temporary shelters designed to protect your driveway and car from the winter elements…
Tempos are ubiquitous in Québec. Almost as bad as Crocs.
But it's not ALL bad.
Someone in my neighbourhood made a snow penis. It looked something like this...
Unfortunately, by the time I returned to take a photo (for you Bitches,) someone had knocked the penis off and all that remained were a pair of snow balls.
We hope you’ve enjoyed your visit to our Winter Wonderland.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Winter Wonderland … in April
Mistress MJ awoke this morning to a blanket of snow on the ground.
[via]
And it’s still coming down…in late April!
We're told the forecast for later today is ice pellets.
Mistress MJ was starting to rally round after her brief but violent illness until she clicked on The Vomitorium link that our Jon kindly provided.
Due to a relapse, Mistress MJ will not be joining you until Tuesday.
And it’s still coming down…in late April!
We're told the forecast for later today is ice pellets.
Mistress MJ was starting to rally round after her brief but violent illness until she clicked on The Vomitorium link that our Jon kindly provided.
Due to a relapse, Mistress MJ will not be joining you until Tuesday.
Friday, February 06, 2009
Memo to the UK from Canada
Memo to the UK from Canada regarding your recent “snowfall”:
WE LAUGH AT YOUR SNOW!
Beast shoveling a light dusting of snowflakes
You know nothing of snow. Try a winter in Canada, why don’t you?
Did you know that Canadians learn how to snowshoe before they learn how to walk? It’s true!
Photo of snowshoes provided for ignorant Brits who have never seen nor heard of such a thing. You strap them onto your feet and can actually walk effortlessly on top of gigantic Canadian snowdrifts.
In fact, babies born in Canada during the winter are strapped into tiny snowshoes on their way home from the hospital lest they fall out of their mother’s arms and into a snowbank on the journey.
Meanwhile, in the UK, you tremble at the sight of ever-so-frightening GIANT SNOWBALLS...
Highways officials were called to remove this giant snowball. It is believed it was the head of a giant snowman.
And who could miss THIS headline from the BBC?...
Snowballs prompt 500 calls to 999
Incidents involving snowballs prompted members of the public to make more than 500 emergency 999 calls to police in Nottinghamshire.
A force spokeswoman said some of the snowball-related calls were genuine emergencies and incidents.
However she said some were of a trivial nature that did not warrant the use of an emergency call to police.
Officers have reminded members of the public to only dial 999 for genuine emergencies.
You poor shivering, slip-sliding British personages.
So Who Ya Gonna Call?
On Monday afternoon, BBC Radio 4 called up Winnipeg Mayor Sam Katz to ask how Manitoba's capital manages to clear snow when London can't.
Yes, you British toffs had to turn to the professionals…CANADIANS, THAT’S WHO!
Ms. Nations (in Washington State) having a laugh at the Brits expense…and rightly so, we might add
Let’s ask Ms. Nations (An American but nonetheless wise in the ways of snow…she’s Aborignalish after all) what SHE thinks of snow in the UK, shall we?...
HA I say. You think that is snow? That was BULLSHIT!!! That was WEAK!! That was buttercream fricken' frosting! Away with your so called snow which has the brain of a duck you know! HA UPON YOUR GARDEN SNOWINGS I HAVING LAUGH!!!! you get 7 ft. snowdrifts and winos frozen to the pavement in their own piss then I'll grant you some damn snow. until then go boil your bottom you silly englisher person.
...yes. I have JEERED YOUR SNOW.
yes I have.
...I did.
your snow is pathetic.
British Infomaniac readers (names withheld) keeping their spirits (and their man boobs) up
In closing, we, the people of Canada would like to say:
Get a grip, UK. It’ll all be over soon.
WE LAUGH AT YOUR SNOW!
Beast shoveling a light dusting of snowflakes
You know nothing of snow. Try a winter in Canada, why don’t you?
Did you know that Canadians learn how to snowshoe before they learn how to walk? It’s true!
Photo of snowshoes provided for ignorant Brits who have never seen nor heard of such a thing. You strap them onto your feet and can actually walk effortlessly on top of gigantic Canadian snowdrifts.
In fact, babies born in Canada during the winter are strapped into tiny snowshoes on their way home from the hospital lest they fall out of their mother’s arms and into a snowbank on the journey.
Meanwhile, in the UK, you tremble at the sight of ever-so-frightening GIANT SNOWBALLS...
Highways officials were called to remove this giant snowball. It is believed it was the head of a giant snowman.
And who could miss THIS headline from the BBC?...
Snowballs prompt 500 calls to 999
Incidents involving snowballs prompted members of the public to make more than 500 emergency 999 calls to police in Nottinghamshire.
A force spokeswoman said some of the snowball-related calls were genuine emergencies and incidents.
However she said some were of a trivial nature that did not warrant the use of an emergency call to police.
Officers have reminded members of the public to only dial 999 for genuine emergencies.
You poor shivering, slip-sliding British personages.
So Who Ya Gonna Call?
On Monday afternoon, BBC Radio 4 called up Winnipeg Mayor Sam Katz to ask how Manitoba's capital manages to clear snow when London can't.
Yes, you British toffs had to turn to the professionals…CANADIANS, THAT’S WHO!
Ms. Nations (in Washington State) having a laugh at the Brits expense…and rightly so, we might add
Let’s ask Ms. Nations (An American but nonetheless wise in the ways of snow…she’s Aborignalish after all) what SHE thinks of snow in the UK, shall we?...
HA I say. You think that is snow? That was BULLSHIT!!! That was WEAK!! That was buttercream fricken' frosting! Away with your so called snow which has the brain of a duck you know! HA UPON YOUR GARDEN SNOWINGS I HAVING LAUGH!!!! you get 7 ft. snowdrifts and winos frozen to the pavement in their own piss then I'll grant you some damn snow. until then go boil your bottom you silly englisher person.
...yes. I have JEERED YOUR SNOW.
yes I have.
...I did.
your snow is pathetic.
British Infomaniac readers (names withheld) keeping their spirits (and their man boobs) up
In closing, we, the people of Canada would like to say:
Get a grip, UK. It’ll all be over soon.
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