Sunday, February 01, 2009

Manwhore

The first step is admitting it…



We know it’s one of you.

Speak up and identify yourself.

However, if you’re not a manwhore, tell us which Infomaniac bitch is!

43 comments:

  1. wait, wait, wait...wtf was the question?



    who cares....

    I.AM.FIRST.

    XOXOXOXOX

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  2. SAVANNAH: Congratulations!

    This is an omen that your team will win the Superbowl.

    Who’s playing? Who cares?

    You’re FIRST!

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  3. My name is Old Knudsen and I am a manhoor. Its been 18 hours since i have last hoored myself out and I was fucking great!

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  4. mago is a hoor
    eroswings is a hoor
    Homo Escaping is a hoor
    Heff is a hoor
    Inner Voices is a hoor
    IVD is a hoor
    Famulus is a hoor
    Manuel is a hoor
    Tony is a hoor
    Beast is a hoor

    But most of all I'd like to thank the academy.

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  5. 10 minutes...the damn post has been up and i am 6th...dammit anyway

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  6. I admit it, I AM a manwhore.

    And so what?!?

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  7. I'm doing my best, for f#(k's sake! I just can't find any clientèle!

    This doesn't bode well, does it.

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  8. Mr Mutts is a dog. If that's any help?
    Sx

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  9. KNUDSEN: My name is Old Knudsen and I am a manhoor. Its been 18 hours since i have last hoored myself out and I was fucking great!

    Wait…there’s another call coming in on line 2 for you!

    Can you get over to LEAH’s hoose within the hour?

    KNUDSEN (again, because Manhoors think it’s so nice they do it twice):

    mago is a hoor
    eroswings is a hoor
    Homo Escaping is a hoor
    Heff is a hoor
    Inner Voices is a hoor
    IVD is a hoor
    Famulus is a hoor
    Manuel is a hoor
    Tony is a hoor
    Beast is a hoor


    We agree with your selections.

    Manhoors, all of them.

    We should have categories of hoordom for them to compete against one another.

    By the way, what is the plural of manwhore?

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  10. DAISY: You’re up against stiff competition.

    These people are pros.

    CYBERPOOF: I admit it, I AM a manwhore.
    And so what?!?


    Then why don’t you have anything to show for it?

    FAMULUS: I'm doing my best, for f#(k's sake! I just can't find any clientèle!

    This doesn't bode well, does it.


    I saw you whoring yourself out over at Beast’s place like some two-bit hustler.

    “He’s anyone’s for the taking,” we said to ourselves.

    SCARLET: Mr Mutts is a dog. If that's any help?

    He’s been trying to rest his head on our Vanilla Cushions.

    Isn’t that proof enough he’s a manwhore?

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  11. Are you still a manwhore if you use a barter system ???
    I will do anything for a donut or a chip butty

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  12. Are you pimping Old Knudsen out to me? Will he take our change box full of sticky nickels? Because that's all the cash I've got on me this morn.

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  13. Leah: Hey, opportunity strikes! If Old Knudsen won't, make an offer for Young Fammy, he will.

    Maybe I need an image change? Deuce Biggalo maybe?

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  14. You won't be making any money at all if you model yourself after Deuce Bigalo, Fammy. But at least he's a nice guy....:-)

    And since you were whoring yourself in my direction over at Mr. Beast's, care to continue here?

    Canadian money isn't worth much these days, but I have a little spare change. Do you accept loonies?

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  15. BEAST: Are you still a manwhore if you use a barter system ???

    Manwhore.

    Your manwhore status has already been decreed by Old Knudsen so why must you ask?

    I will do anything for a donut or a chip butty

    Mistress MJ will toss you a Timbit for every pair of her panties you handwash.

    LEAH: Are you pimping Old Knudsen out to me? Will he take our change box full of sticky nickels?

    *waits for response from Old Knudsen*

    *wait a minute…offer coming in from Famulus*

    FAMMY: Leah: Hey, opportunity strikes! If Old Knudsen won't, make an offer for Young Fammy, he will.

    If you keep this up, you’ll be on the cover of Time magazine as “Manwhore of the Year”.

    PONITA: *turns to Fammy*

    Don’t keep the lady waiting.

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  16. Ponita: It's not the money that I'm after... :-)

    Sure, I'll whore myself out in your direction although I'm not sure I can if it's my own chief concubine. Isn't that us just both fulfilling our normal roles?

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  17. FAMMY: *turns to BEAST*

    I believe that Fammy and Ponita are up to what you called "middle-aged flirting" again, Beast.

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  18. Mstress: Why are you telling Beast? Is he supposed to tell us off, draw a discrete vail around us, sigh and shake his head or join in?

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  19. FAMMY: I suppose Beast will be relieved that you've moved the travelling bedroom over to my blog and off of his blog for the time being.

    And now if you'll excuse us, The Houseboys are turning on our morning news programme and bringing us our morning coffee.

    Carry on.

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  20. Fammy, I just don't want our regular duties to become mundane. Must keep the work enticing, eh?

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  21. Famulus--sticky nickels, orange juice, and frozen waffles? this being Sunday morn and all--

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  22. Leah: You appear to misunderstand my motivation... Do I need to spell it out?

    Tut...

    Damn, it's Sunday afternoon here and damn cold. Yes, all things being relative, but for Amsterdam, it's cold.

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  23. *takes Fammy by the hand, draws him into her bedroom and smiles as closing the door*

    I'll warm you up, Fammy. ;-)

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  24. GEOFF: We Are All Prostitutes

    Not only have we been jarred wide awake by that dissonance (had we known you were going to post that link, we could have skipped our morning coffee), we now feel dirty.

    LEAH, PONITA & FAMMY: Looks like you’re all doing fine without Mistress MJ so she’ll return to her regularly scheduled programming.

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  25. SCARLET: Mr Mutts is a dog. If that's any help?

    He’s been trying to rest his head on our Vanilla Cushions.
    Isn’t that proof enough he’s a manwhore?


    And Mr Mutts has been flashing his Golden Grahams...
    Sx

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  26. Um when I said I would do anything for a donut or a chip butty . Laundry wasn't an option , you have houseboys to manhandle your delicates

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  27. OH good grief...

    I can't compete with this...

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  28. SCARLET: And Mr Mutts has been flashing his Golden Grahams...

    Is it true that Golden Grahams contain traces of LSD?

    Perhaps Mr. Mutley wants us to place his Golden Grahams under our tongues, like an acid blotter.

    BEAST: Um when I said I would do anything for a donut or a chip butty . Laundry wasn't an option, you have houseboys to manhandle your delicates

    You should be grateful for the opportunity to be close to my smalls.

    You’re always going on about how fantastic your crevice tool is so why don’t you do a little Hoovering while you’re here?

    LEAH: OH good grief...

    I can't compete with this...


    There is no point in trying.

    You are better off waiting for Old Knudsen to make a hoosecall.

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  29. Is that an old Marvel Comic -
    "WhoreMan - the xxx-years"?

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  30. MAGO: Is that an old Marvel Comic -
    "WhoreMan - the xxx-years"?


    “WhoreMan – the Franconian years”

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  31. I just want to say congratulations to Savannah for her First, "First"

    And that Old K is the biggest Manwhore.

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  32. BOXER: I just want to say congratulations to Savannah for her First, "First"

    She’s marking this day on her calendar.

    Old K is the biggest Manwhore.

    Undoubtedly. Yet Famulus has been proving he’s a runner-up and Piggy and Tazzy beg to differ as they’ve nominated Beast.

    PIGGY: It's Beast.

    Believe us, we know.


    Can you back up your case with examples?

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  33. Because I'm too expensive for most people to afford repeat performances.

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  34. Manwhoring (or any whoring) is illegal around these parts!!!

    I am a service professional!

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  35. CYBERPOOF: Because I'm too expensive for most people to afford repeat performances.

    Yes, we see the kroner slipping out of your g-string.

    EROS: Manwhoring (or any whoring) is illegal around these parts!!!

    I am a service professional!


    Whom are you looking to service?

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  36. My shepimp tells me I'm not a proper man whore.

    Yet.

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  37. did y'all notice...


    I.WAS.FIRST!

    thank you, boxer! xoxo

    and yes, i did, mj!! xoxo

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  38. MAXI: Yeah but yer Ma’s a proper hoor.

    SAVANNAH: did y'all notice...
    I.WAS.FIRST!


    Well, Bitches… Did y’all?

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  39. Nickels? thats no a valuable metal, ah well I'll take it.

    Manhoori is the plural, A stag of Manhoori. Is the collective.

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  40. KNUDSEN: Manhoori…sounds like “Man. Hurry.”

    Which is what Leah says when she’s waiting for her manhoor, Old Knudsen.

    Yeah, that makes sense.

    ReplyDelete