Saturday, August 30, 2008

Pool Party!

Welcome to Infomaniac’s end of summer Pool Party!

Grab your snorkels and swimsuits and let’s get into the groove.

For your comfort, I’ve arranged for plumbing facilities to be installed. Note to Inner Voices: This means you...

DJ Maxi Cane has travelled all the way from The Emerald Isle to spin some tunes on the turntable…

What’s this? Geoff disagreeing with the DJ’playlist?..

Cocktails are being served by one of my handsome houseboys. Expect CyberPoof to spend most of the day at the bar, playing the role of barfly...

Now let’s see who’s arrived so far.

I see Betty is here all the way from Kent. And doesn’t she look glamourous posing poolside?…

There’s T-Bird teaching Eroswings how to swim…

Kaz has her beer goggles on…

IVD (left, in leopard print swimsuit) is chatting up the always smartly-dressed Mago, who appears to be having a conversation with IVD’s chest…

Daisy feeds Beast a banana. No, Daisy dear, that’s not exactly where Beast likes to have his bananas inserted…

Somewhere a car tire is without its inner tube thanks to First Nations

Isn’t that Bollix showing off one of his big balls?...

Looks like Random Chick’s found his other ball…

But it’s not all fun and games, oh no. Gather round for an educational lesson in which Garfer demonstrates the physics of floating…

Heff opts for a mud wrap spa treatment…

There’s Anonymous Boxer and a few other lovely Women of Infomaniac performing an elaborate synchronized swimming movement…

Boxer makes it look so easy…like she’s done it a million times before.

Who have we got here? Looks like Ponygirl, Savannah, Cecile, Carnalis and hell, I’m not sure. Leah or Robyn or Catscratch?...

I’m not sure who’s who but they look like they’re good to go, don’t they?

Mistress MJ consults with her poolboy to let him know which of her male guests are most likely to “put out”…

Mistress MJ must then follow up with the female guests to caution them against entertaining delusional thoughts such as this…

I tried to get round to photograph all of you but I’ve run out of film for my Kodak Brownie and need to reload.

And an attractive guest has just arrived and I must slip into the cabana for a few minutes.

While I’m gone, please help yourselves to the appetizers and cocktails.

Look over there! Looks like Old Knudsen’s made a friend!...

Seems like you’re all getting along just fine.

Now everyone into the pool!

Friday, August 29, 2008

Filthy Friday

Well now that we’ve got the filth portion out of the way, let’s get down to some blog business, shall we?

Happy Birthday, Billy!

Join me in wishing a happy 29th birthday to our little Billy in West London.

Everyone help yourself to a nice slice of Billy’s birthday cake.

I’ll ask you all not to do anything naughty with the cakes.

Party Plans

You’re all invited to stop by on the weekend as Infomaniac celebrates a Summer's End Party.

Bring your swimsuits and snorkels.

See you there!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Pizzas and Bongos

My 12-day-in-row work hell has ended!

Join me in celebrating as I break out the pizzas and bongos!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Keep Your Hair On

I’d love to create a proper post for you today but I have to wash my hair.

Oh keep your hair on.

I’ll be back on Thursday.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Bicycle Thief

Mistress MJ was recently surprised to see a familiar face making international headlines.

Yes, this is the man who used to repair Mistress MJ’s bicycle.

Cleans up good for court

Have you ever opened the paper or turned on telly to find someone you know in the news for something unlawful?

Monday, August 25, 2008

Write This Post

Mistress MJ is knackered.

So she wants you bitches to write her post for her.

Go on! What are you waiting for, dammit?

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Pep Talk

As you recall, Mistress MJ is working 12 days in a row and at this point she’s worked 8 of those 12 days.

So far, as well as working hard, she’s been recruited by the Hire-a-Bitch Headhunting Agency; kidnapped by the Yakuza and forced to perform Japanese Bikini Rodeo Pie Fighting; acted in a Japanese “art film”; time and space travelled in a TARDIS; and forced to socialize on First Nations’ lawn in Washington State amidst the toilet planters.

Let’s look in and see how she’s doing so far, shall we?...

Oh dear. Her get-up-and-go seems to have got up and left.

How can Mistress MJ go from that state (pictured above) to this state?...

Your suggestions on how to improve her pep are welcome.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Saturday Snatch

Infomaniac takes no responsibility for the content of today’s posting.

This photograph was sent to Mistress MJ by one of our very own Infomaniac readers.

The bitch in question asked us not to reveal his identity. Let’s be clear, though, that the pic was submitted by a man; not any of The Women of Infomaniac who are genteel and refined.

(click pic for maximum thrill)

Friday, August 22, 2008

Filthy Friday

Today’s Filthy Friday is dedicated to our Kapitano, who is celebrating his fourth blogiversary.

Double Hap-penis to you, Kapi!

Thursday, August 21, 2008


When we last left our heroine, Mistress MJ was spinning through time and space in a TARDIS.


Helpful Infomaniac readers left suggestions as to where we might land the TARDIS.

However, the TARDIS has a mind of its own and it set its sights over the Pacific NorthWest.

The TARDIS was on its way to visit (hold your breath!) its American cousin, the TURDIS…

Not surprisingly, the TURDIS is located in the front yard of our very own First Nations!

The TURDIS lost no time in introducing the TARDIS to a few of his friends; all of them taking up residence on Nation’s front lawn…

The Twins…

The Holy Roller…

The Geriatric…

And looky here! It’s Inner Voices! He’s on the Throne Phone inviting y’all to come by and welcome Mistress MJ back…

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

TARDIS Traveller

Mistress MJ bade sayonara to Japan and is travelling in a TARDIS through time and space to points unknown.

Where might she end up next?

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Situation Worsening

Yakuza Men ready for dubious action with Mistress MJ…

But just in time, Mistress MJ is rescued by 74-year-old Japanese porn star Shigeo Tokuda


Conditions of rescue are that Mistress MJ must make an “art film” with Tokuda.

Despite rumours of a fling with Old Knudsen, Mistress MJ is not into geezer porn.

Nonetheless, Tokuda insists Mistress MJ remove her false teeth and, I quote, “Gum me to death!”

Hundreds of Japanese women queue up as film extras (pervs may click to make bigger)

Bitches: As Director of this film, I require your assistance. Please tell me what scenarios you’d like to see played out by Mistress MJ, Tokuda-san, and the cast of extras. If you want a bit part in the film, write yourself in. Oh, and any film title suggestions?

Monday, August 18, 2008

Devious Dealings

Mushi mushi. Yes, this is (garbled voice). No, you cannot speak with Mistress MJ. She is riding mechanical bull. In bikini. With PIE!

We interrupt your scheduled Infomaniac self-pleasuring session to announce a disturbing development.

Mistress MJ has been kidnapped by the Yakuza…the Japanese Mafia!

She was forced into a bikini; a difficult situation considering her addiction to HobNobs, and made to ride a mechanical bull whilst throwing pies at scantily clad women!!!

Those who frequent these underworld sporting matches call it “Japanese Bikini Rodeo Pie Fighting.”

If you feel you must watch, do not subject yourself to more than a couple of minutes of this filthy footage.

Such is the skill of the Yakuza that you cannot recognize which one is Mistress MJ.

I think they’ve turned her Japanese. I really think so!

Bitches: Something must be done! We must not stand idly by. What would you do in this situation?

Sunday, August 17, 2008


Greetings. My name is Mr. Fukushima and I represent the Hire-a-Bitch Headhunting Agency.

Headhunters such as myself are employment recruiters hired by corporations to find the best and the brightest candidates to work in their organizations.

We are interested in talking to Mistress MJ in hopes of luring her away from her present demanding employer and placing her in an organization that appreciates her many and varied talents.

We understand that she is working a grueling 12-day-in-a-row schedule at the moment and is not available to answer our questions.

So we're turning to you, her devoted readers, to advise us.

Due to client confidentiality, we cannot mention the name of the company that has shown an interest in her nor can we divulge the line of work.

We ask you, is Mistress MJ a good candidate for employment?

Please list her strengths and weaknesses and any information you have that might help us make a decision.

Mistress MJ-san … HAI!