Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Smartest Canadian

Donn: Not just another pretty face with a big pistol

Congratulations to Infomaniac bitch DONN (Homo Escapeons) who wins The Knudsen Award for “Canadian With The Most Smarts” 2009.

Behold Donn’s gigantic brain on display: a marvel of science…

Click here to give Donn a handjob.


  1. I should've known better than to give handjobs on Knudsen's site. I gotta go wash up now.

  2. In all reality I am second cuz HoodChick did First and First 'A'... being the same person and all.

    Congrats, Donn! Nice to see a fellow 'Pegger get such a prestigious award.

  3. third just doesn't seem as exciting as first, sugar....xoxox

    congrats to donn. *le sigh*

  4. I'm super excited to be fourth to S's third!

    Now what is this post about?

  5. What in hell is goin' on here?

    Has Ol Knudey bin drinkin agin?
    That Humid Escarpeon is all Hat and no Cattle!

    Now I know this feller, lives down the road aways, an he knows jack-sh*t about f*ck-all! Makes up all sorts of crap that he gits from book learnin' n' such..
    hell he don't know nuthin' bout syntax!

    I'm goin' to down and slashin' his tires...little f*cker don't deserve no awards..son of a bitch violated my wife..well she says he didn't but folks in town is talkin' where thar is smoke thar is fire.


  6. Congrats Donnnn

    You deserve a hug!

  7. Gratuliere!
    Diesen Silvaner trinke ich Dir zur Ehre!

  8. An intelligent Canadian?

    You'll be telling be Bigfoot exists next.

  9. As the only two Canadians I know are you and Donn it does not come as much surprise that he gets the award. Hardly an achievement in line with his talents, is it?

  10. Congrats to Donn. I have done the business.

  11. I heard that just being Canadian was award enough in that right?

  12. Ahem.... Mr. Vicus... please be aware there is another Canadian here... namely ME!

    Not that you know me, or anything... but I am still here...

  13. smarts?

    *sends Ponita a big tube of smarties*

  14. Oooo, thanks, Carnalis! I love Smarties!

    When you eat your Smarties
    Do you eat the red ones last?
    Do you suck them very slow?
    Or crunch them very fast?

    All of the above...

  15. Well done, Donn old chap! A Knudsen award does seem oddly prestigious.

  16. HOODCHICK: You can never cum clean after visiting Knudsen.

    PONITA: Winnipeg pride is a great thing.

    You’re also home to giant swarms of mosquitoes AND you are the Slurpee Capital of Canada.

    SAVANNAH: Nice to see you’ve spoken in French as we are a bilingual nation.

    BOXER: Don’t ask questions.

    Just give Donn a handjob.

    BASS-ACKWORDS: You're Donn’s cousin, aren’t you?

    *refrains from mentioning Manitoban inbreeding*

  17. CYBERPOOF: A hug?

    What Donn deserves is a handjob.

    MAGO: Another excuse for a drink?

    GARFY: We call it Sasquatch.

    And we have a Sasquatch detective hot on its trail!

    VICUS: Mistress MJ’s brain may not be as big as Donn’s but what she lacks in grey matter she makes up for with other attributes.

    SCARLET: I saw your message on The Knudsen Award blog and you seemed confused.

    Has Awkward been spiking your tea again?

  18. MANUEL: Being Canadian is its own reward.

    Since you can never experience that thrill, help yourself to the poutine.

    CARNALIS: Share with everyone, please.

    PONITA: We’ve heard you suck them slowly.

    LEAH: You should be so lucky.

  19. I can do that and *ahem* other jobs

  20. I do, and I am damn good at it too.

    Must be the years of sucking Slurpees up a straw.... practice makes perfect! ;-)

  21. I know! Where's my award? I forgot to give myself one yesterday. I'll just do it now:

    Most Grandiose Jewfro

  22. CYBERPOOF: Can you shovel snow?

    Donn needs someone who can do the job.

    PONITA: Everyone needs a hobby.

    LEAH: That'll do for your own self-appointed award.

    But impressive as your JewFro is, it's hardly worthy of a Knudsen Award.

  23. Actually, I think I need an award today... seeing as it is my birthday and I have managed to stay on this planet in one relatively unscathed piece for 51 years. :-)


    *hands Ponita a Slurpee voucher from the 7-11*

  25. Aw shucks! Thanks, MJ!

    How'd you know that is what I really wanted?

    We do drink Slurpees year round here.... Winterpeg is like nowhere else on the planet. Or off it, for that matter.

  26. 'Smartest Canadian'...

    That just doesn't make any sense. There's no such thing.

  27. PONITA: Right. That’s enough about you.

    This day belongs to Donn.

    LEAH: Don’t encourage her.

    PIGGY: Here’s a quote from fellow Brit Vicus to convince you…

    "One of the most incisive writers on the human condition in the early years of the 21st Century. Surprisingly interesting for someone from Canada."

  28. No problem. I don't want to hog Donn's limelight.

    There are lots of smarts in Canada... we just tend to spend half the year in suspended animation because it is so freakin' cold here!

    Or most of here.... the Wet Coast doesn't count weather-wise.

  29. Shit did I say Donn Coppens? I meant Conn Doppens. Happy birthday to ponita I have her present all nice and warmed up, she just needs to sign a medical release oh and cum and get it.

  30. KNUDSEN: Ponita is a nurse.

    Suck on that image for awhile.

  31. Bugger giving Donn a handjob , its old Knudsen giving out the awards , he's the one we gotta please
    . oh and congrats Donn :-)

  32. BEAST: Why would Old Knudsen want a handjob from you?

    He wouldn’t touch you with his 10-foot pole what with all your gastrointestinal incidents and the questionable aroma you leave behind wherever you go.

    Besides, you should be trying to please Mistress MJ.

    Here. Grab a dishcloth and do the washing up.

    XL: That pic is a good representation of what Donn will look like when he becomes Prime Minister of Canada.

    A day the nation eagerly anticipates, we can assure you.

  33. That 'questionable ' aroma is Gucci you colonial skank
    ***flounces off***

  34. BEAST: You must be wearing knock-off Gucci.

    You smell like the bins at Café C at closing time.

    Don't trip on the toilet tissue on your shoe as you're flouncing off.

  35. This comment has been removed by the author.

  36. I don't do manual labour, you know that.

    That's why I recruited your houseboys.

  37. ya, i'm gonna pass on the hand job giving
    nice of your to pimp him out though ;)

  38. CYBERPOOF: Give them BACK!

    *rips wig from CyberPETRA's head*

    CHER: Your loss.

    In lieu of Donn, are there any other Infomaniac bitches you’d care to service?

  39. I've given Donn a rhyme at Knudsen's rather than a handjob. Not that I don't know how to do it, mind. It would have to be from behind, though.

  40. I am always confused. Where am I now...? I think I need a hand...

  41. GEOFF: It’s not ghey if you do it from behind.

    A poem, on the other hand…

    SCARLET: *applauds Scarlet’s efforts*

    That is what you meant, isn’t it?

  42. It’s not ghey if you do it from behind.
    ***draws a confused Miss MJ a diagram***

  43. BEAST: Damn you, Beast!

    I was trying to talk Geoff into it and you’ve ruined everything as usual.

    Seems like you’re very knowledgeable on the subject, however.

  44. The all seeing all knowing Beast is an expert in many things Miss MJ , who else brings you the wonders of HOT FROG SEX

  45. BEAST: I was doing fine with the Discovery Channel before you directed me to your blog post detailing yourself as the Ron Jeremy of the amphibian world.