Happy Birthday, Miss Scarlet!

 Happy birthday, Miss Scarlet!

Norma (left) gives Miss Scarlet advice on ageing gracefully.

Happy Birthday, Norma!

 Have a wonderful day, Norma...

Crocs Underpants

 Miss Normadesmond has brought a new fashion trend to my attention. The Crocs Brief...

 

Also known as Gator Briefs™️, these "do anything & go anywhere underwear" are designed with holes in front to ensure a healthy air flow.

Reasons to Celebrate

As you celebrate both Canada Day and Norma's birthday, please remember to social distance...

Norma's Garden Photos

Our final entry in the NINTH ANNUAL INFOMANIAC GARDEN PHOTOS EVENT comes to us from Miss Normadesmond of Minneapolis, Minnesota. Take it away, Norma...

Norma’s got many things that are green, but her thumb ain’t one of them.

My neighborhood has a community garden. 

The gals love to take cuttings from one another...

 Luba seems to have found a bulb that needs planting...

Our grapes have tender vines...

There’s no lack of fertilization...

Morey lives across the street. He’s always looking for a hedge to clip...

Our American Gothic!...

Of course, he lives in another neighborhood...

I’d just mowed. Thankfully, my clippings are bagged...

The First of July

July 1st holds special meaning to The Mistress. It's Canada Day; it's Norma's birthday; and it's the day that our friend LX posted his first comment on Infomaniac, back in 2008. Click here to be carried back to days of yore.

In honour of all three events, The Mistress offers you Bitches the most Canadian of cakes: a lumberjack cake...

The Mistress is not in the most celebratory of moods. Why?  Because LX (aka XL aka Mr. Lax) has published his final blog post.  

LX has been the Official Infomaniac Pillow Fluffer and Personal IT Consultant to The Mistress for many moons. He is a loyal friend to us all.

And you know that "Banned By Infomaniac" sticker that you've all received? Some of you NUMEROUS times? That's LX's creation...

The Mistress is in denial that LX may not be hanging about to celebrate future festive events with his signature dish: the traditional cranberries recipe...

Ingredients:

1 can jellied cranberry sauce

Preparation:

Remove both ends of can.

Push product onto plate.

Slice.

The Mistress has deluded herself into believing that he is using a health issue as an excuse; an excuse to get out of entering his limp ficus (again) in the upcoming 9th Annual Infomaniac Garden Photos Contest.

LX, if we must see you off, The Mistress will see to it that you are hooked up intravenously to the Vodka Fountain. 

Oh, and Mr. Lax? You're a winner. You never really had to ask...

Norma's Garden Photos

Our next entry in the EIGHTH ANNUAL INFOMANIAC GARDEN PHOTOS EVENT is Miss Normadesmond. Give it to us, Norma.

Initially, I hired an experienced landscaper.

 Her continual raking annoyed me, so I found Duke on Craigslist.

An expert mower, I’m considering using him to plow this winter.

When Duke was busy with other tasks, the Mistress (!) pinch-hit with the mowing. Sweet of her, huh?

Ultimately, I hire all the work out & enjoy myself.

 

Fuck it, I’m worth it!

The Heat is On

[via]
It's Canada Day AND Norma's birthday, Bitches!

The Mistress is not going anywhere. 

Temperatures for the next few days hover around 46°Celsius. That's over 114°Fahrenheit. 

I'm keeping my undies in the icebox.  

Cruisin' with Norma

It's the weekend and you're cruisin' with Miss Normadesmond...

[via]



Where is this journey taking you, Bitches?

False Alarm

Norma, on vacation in Hawaii, reacts to the news that the incoming missile was only a false alarm...

Fill in the Blank

NORMA AND HER (fill in the blank) ...

[via]

Breakfast With Norma

Must bring Norma her breakfast...

(click to enlarge)

Norma's Garden Photos

Our next entry in the Seventh Annual Infomaniac Garden Photos Event is from Miss Normadesmond.

"This photo was taken in April. I’d been given some seeds and I went ahead and sowed"...



"Things were looking kind of good, but then they died.

So I threw it all out and bought a fur coat"...



We remind you that Miss Normadesmond is the reigning Miss Cocks in Frocks.

We Interrupt This Staycation to Order Another Cocktail

"Waiter, another homojito for my friend, Norma."

Happy 150th!

Things that turn 150 on July 1st:

Canada...



and Norma...

Covfefe Coffee Klatch

Perplexed about Drumpf's use of the non-word "covfefe," The Mistress and Norma decided he meant "coffee klatch" or "Kaffeeklatsch"...



Won't you join us?

Happy Days and Holidays

The Mistress survived another vacation with Norma...



Please forgive me as I take my time getting back into the swing of things.

We Disapprove

Whatever it is you're thinking about doing, Norma and The Mistress disapprove...

And We're Back

Remind me never to travel with Miss Normadesmond, ever again...

July 1st Birthday Girls

Bitches, raise your glasses to the two birthday girls: MISS NORMADESMOND...


[via]

... and CANADA!...