Perv of the Day

In a story that appears custom-made for Infomaniac, police apprehended a man on Saturday, wearing what appears to be lipstick and eye make-up...


His name? Calvin WANK.

Yes, you heard me. Wank ... the British slang term for masturbation.

Wank, age 56, of Deposit, New York, was arrested on the weekend for "touching himself" in a field and parking lot next to "Love's Travel Shop," a truck stop in the town of Kirkwood, about an hour south of Syracuse. He allegedly performed lewd acts, witnessed by several truck drivers.



The wanker has been charged with public lewdness and is scheduled to appear in court next month.

This incident appears to be unrelated to the Florida man arrested for masturbating while driving down Interstate 95, the California man arrested for masturbating while riding a bicycle, or the Florida woman arrested for masturbating on her motorcycle in her garage, with the door open.

Perv of the Day

When asked if the cucumber offender appeared threatening to the staff or patrons, a police officer said he wasn’t sure if there was any threat.



“I don’t think he had any free hands to make any threat,” the officer said.

Story here.

Perv of the Day

Welcome to another edition of Perv of the Day.

Infomaniac will, from time to time, seek out the perviest perverts and parade them pantless in front of you, the judge and jury.




THE PERV: David Truscott, 40, of of Redruth, Cornwall, England.

THE PLACE: A farm in Camborne, Cornwall.




THE PERVERSION: Manure fetish.

Truscott broke into a farm, covered himself in manure and was seen masturbating.

He climbed into the manure spreader vehicle - and was found wearing shiny red shorts, rubber gloves and playing in the slurry for "sexual reasons".

The court heard he’s regularly visited this farm for some five years.

The farmer first became suspicious that something odd was going on when he found a water trough filled with manure and tissues scattered around.

The farmer then saw the shape of what appeared to be someone’s bottom and two hand prints where manure had been piled up.

On one occasion a milking parlour had been entered and Truscott had stripped down to his underpants and climbed into a huge vat of manure.

Police who searched Truscott's home found 360 pairs of women's knickers and containers of liquid sludge and hard mud.

Truscott told the officers that he liked to sleep in women’s pyjamas.





THE PUNISHMENT: Charged with breaching the terms of a restraining order and jailed for 20 weeks.

Thanks to Yorkshire’s biggest poofs, Tazzy and Piggy for bringing this story to our attention.

Perv of the Day

Welcome to another edition of Perv of the Day.

Infomaniac will, from time to time, seek out the perviest perverts and parade them pantless in front of you, the judge and jury.



THE PERV: An unnamed naked vicar, in his 50s.

THE PLACE: Yorkshire, England.

THE PERVERSION: The vicar underwent surgery to have a potato removed from his arse.

The clergyman insisted he had not been playing a sex game.

Nurse Trudi Watson of Sheffield Northern General Hospital said: “He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato."




For more examples of foreign bodies that have “accidentally” been inserted up arseholes, please refer to Infomaniac’s “Shove It Up Yer Arse” post.

Perv of the Day

Welcome to another edition of Perv of the Day.

Infomaniac will, from time to time, seek out the perviest perverts and parade them pantless in front of you, the judge and jury.



Infomaniac finds itself in a quandary as there are two pervs vying for the title of Perv of the Day.


PERVERT #1:


Knicker-flasher Martyn Lamb: “I did it just to unwind during the day. I find it a release from my pressures.”


THE PERV: Martyn Lamb, age 40. Self-employed pest controller and father-of-three.

THE PLACE: Hambleton Junction near Selby, North Yorkshire, England.

THE PERVERSION: Revealing his skimpy lingerie and his genitals to passing train drivers – on at least 50 occasions - before picking his kids up from school.

Lamb wore lingerie under his work clothes and changed near the railway line, stripping down to a basque, stockings and high heels and a big blonde wig. A freight train driver witness reported that Lamb also wore “a denim miniskirt with brown stockings and a G-string."


"I've always put the wig on. It's the finishing touch of the day. I bought the lingerie from an Ann Summers shop a while ago.”

THE PUNISHMENT: Not guilty but cautioned for outraging public decency. The magistrate declared "not sufficient evidence" that he intentionally exposed himself.

Note from Mistress MJ: Lamb told police his wife knew nothing about his little “hobby”…perhaps therein lies the punishment when she finds out?


PERVERT #2:



THE PERV: A 29-year-old man. Name unreleased.

THE PLACE: Thomas Township, Michigan, USA.

THE PERVERSION: Arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash.

THE PUNISHMENT: Being held in the Saginaw County Jail.



We can’t decide who rates as the perviest Perv of the Day so it’s over to you, bitches.

Your verdict?

Perv of the Day

Welcome to another edition of Perv of the Day.

Infomaniac will, from time to time, seek out the perviest perverts and parade them pantless in front of you, the judge and jury.




THE PERV: A cheeky vandal known as the “Butt Bandit”. Described by police as tall and slender and having hair with a "1980s, feathered look.”

THE PLACE: Valentine, Nebraska, USA; a town of about 2,650 people known as “The Heart City”.

THE PERVERSION: The Butt Bandit greases up his buttocks and genitals with Vaseline and leaves his imprint on windows around town.



Old Knudsen spotted in vicinity with a tube of this...




The incidents started more than a year ago and he has vandalized schools, businesses, hotels and even churches.

"This is not normal behavior for Valentine," Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said. "It's not funny or something people want to be exposed to."




THE PUNISHMENT: The Butt Bandit is still on the loose but Mistress MJ hopes he will be caught and sent to Infomaniac for punishment.

Infomaniac has ruled out Manuel as the perp because hairs would have been left behind on the windows as evidence…



Manuel's arse

Perv of the Day

Welcome to another edition of Perv of the Day.

Infomaniac will, from time to time, seek out the perviest perverts and parade them pantless in front of you, the judge and jury.



THE PERV: Nicodeme Petion, 41.

THE PLACE: Fort Pierce, Florida.

THE PERVERSION: Petion told police he was “just relaxing in the park” when they found him sitting in his car with his pants undone.

Police patrolling the community park say they saw Petion sitting in the driver’s seat of his car with his pants open and a sock over his genitals. According to a police report, Petion told officers his pants were open because he was hot.

Also, officers found a black and red book bag with 11 condoms, a pamphlet on STD awareness, Latina babes pornographic magazine, two white ankle socks and one black sock with possible seminal secretions.

THE PUNISHMENT: Petion was charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition and cited for driving while his license was suspended. He was being held on a $50,000 bail.





Perhaps Mr. Petion should join Infomaniac’s group for cocks and socks.

Perv of the Day

Welcome to another edition of Perv of the Day.

Infomaniac will, from time to time, seek out the perviest perverts and parade them pantless in front of you, the judge and jury.



THE PERV: Gary Cleary, 34.

THE PLACE: Orford, Warrington, Cheshire, England.

THE PERVERSION: Cleary, aroused by the sound of women urinating, was ejected from the Lord Rodney pub after going back and forth to the women’s toilets. He had been drinking heavily and had been listening to them urinate.

He was told to leave after a staff member found him. He then went into the Goldon Lion pub where he tried on a pair of heeled shoes.

THE PUNISHMENT: Released from custody with a strict warning from the judge.

Cleary has a string of convictions for indecent exposure and had been on remand for 118 days after appearing before Chester Magistrates for two further offences of exposure.

The judge explained, “You have got to stop behaving like this otherwise you are going to get into serious trouble. If you do this again or get into any worse trouble you will serve longer and longer orders. I hope this order will help you. Don’t do it again.”

Perv of the Day

Welcome to another installment of “Perv of the Day.”

Infomaniac will, from time to time, seek out the perviest perverts and parade them pantless in front of you, the judge and jury.

THE PERV: Mohammed Ismail Ariffin.

THE PLACE: Singapore.

THE PERVISION: Serial armpit sniffing.

The 36-year-old man was convicted of smelling his victims' armpits and inappropriately touching them.

He molested 23 women over the course of 15 months, smelling their armpits and touching them in lifts, staircase landings and their homes.

THE PUNISHMENT: 14 years in jail and 18 strokes of the cane.

Caning on the buttocks is an additional punishment for male criminals in Singapore for offences ranging from vandalism to illegal possession of drugs and rape.

Perv of the Day

Welcome to a new series on Infomaniac entitled “Perv of the Day.”

Infomaniac will, from time to time, seek out the perviest perverts and parade them pantless in front of you, the judge and jury.

We begin in your host country, Canada.


Crotch kicking


THE PERV: Jarrett Loft.

THE PLACE: Guelph, Ontario, Canada.

THE PERVERSION: Penis pummeling.

On seven occasions last April and May, Jarrett Loft approached women on trails in city parks and asked them to kick him in the groin.

One of the women, afraid of what he might do if she refused, kicked him repeatedly in the bollocks. Loft thanked her and pedaled away on his bicycle.

THE PUNISHMENT: 60 days in jail, to be served at weekends so that he doesn’t lose his machinist job.

In addition, Loft has been banned from parks, schoolyards, playgrounds, and from accessing the Internet.


Ball busting


Note: This is not an April Fool’s joke. Don’t believe me? Google his name, O ye, of little faith.