Welcome Back, Mr. Device and SID

The heady scent of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts has lured two long-time Infomaniac Bitches out of their closets and into Mistress MJ's comment box.



Welcome back, Mr. Device and SID!

Both Bitches have been absent in the Blogosphere for awhile so no doubt there are some of you don’t recognize these veterans.

So let’s have a little “meet and greet,” shall we?

By the way, BOTH Bitches are former Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts winners, as you will see.

Here’s our Mr. Device strolling along a beach in Blighty, probably out catching crabs…



Name: Inexplicable DeVice (aka Mr. DeVice)

Occupation: Witch.

Location: Norwich, Norfolk, England.

Sexual Preference: “Ever heard the phrase 'Friend of Dorothy'? Well, meet Dorothy. As queer as they come. A fully qualified, professional, mincing machine. Complete with neurotic split personality and everything.”

Where has he been for so long?: Having his warts removed.

And now let’s have a look at Mr. DeVice wearing The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts…




Moving along now to SID. Let’s see what SID looks like in The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts, shall we?…



Name: SID (Stupid Irish Daddy)

Occupation: Useless Twat / Mistress MJ's personal slave.

Location: Buttfuck, Northern Ireland.

Sexual Preference: Straight but he’s anybody’s after a few beers or a bottle of Jamesons.

Where has he been for so long?: Fat camp.

Welcome back, Bitches!

BITCHES: Don't forget to enter The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts Competition!

SID Goes to Fat Camp

SID, a kunty klown

Our Stupid Irish Daddy (SID) has finally returned from a grueling four-month stint of diet and exercise at Fat Camp.


SID on his way to Fat Camp


Four months is a long absence and Infomaniac's newer readers may not be familiar with SID.

So here's a little background.

SID hails from Northern Ireland, smells of boiled cabbage and Guinness farts, and is my Number One Bitch.

Did I mention he's a fat Irish cunt?

Or to quote Monsieur Garfer, "Sid's arse is bigger than a Lambeg drum, and a tad less taut."


Drum pictured above: approximate size of SID’s fat arse


Do not, I repeat, do NOT click this link to look at SID’s pendulous moobs.

SID is a lard-arse of Brobdingnagian proportions and has tried every diet and exercise routine known to mankind, short of chopping off his head....a suggestion of mine that he didn't take kindly to.

Sadly, this paunchy, potato-munching, pot-bellied Paddy had become such a behemoth, that the only course of action left for him was to attend Fat Camp.

So let's look in on SID's progress, shall we?

Infomaniac has obtained EXCLUSIVE PHOTO RIGHTS to SID's slim-down.

See for yourself...


The new and improved slimmed-down SID


Congratulations, SID! Well done!

Smut-Free Sunday

In an effort to clean up this blog, let’s start with the Filthy Irish.

Join Infomaniac as we give SID his weekly bath…



(click to expand SID's fatty tissues)

Happy Birthday, SID!

Happy Birthday, you filthy Irish bastard!


They said it was baby fat. They said he’d grow out of it.




Fast forward to adulthood…




A grown-up, blimpish, Brobdingnagian SID was the inspiration for Mr. Stay Puft from the movie Ghostbusters.




Why, you ask, am I such a devoted SIDophile?


Is it his fat, lumpy, wobbly arse?





Dead sexy




Is it his bald patch?




Patch is partially concealed by this product.




Is it his man boobs?
(Click the link above to see his moobs…I dare not post them again lest sensitive viewers regurgitate.)


Is it my beloved "Wee SID?"



Is it his Rebel Without A Cause attitude as he speeds down the motorway?






Yes, it’s all of the above but it’s SO much more. So much more that space doesn’t allow but I’ll let you in on a secret.

I love the way SID fills out a nappy…
















Balloon dance optional





“Wee SID” lights up in celebration



Everyone help yourselves to cake while I blow out the candle!!!






Happy Birthday to our Stupid Irish Daddy.

First round's on me. Sláinte!

Google Searches – Day 6

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Born Again SID, My Arse

SID, pictured above in his misspent youth, claims to have learned his lesson and repented



Don’t let that Stupid Oirish Cunt try to tell you he’s been born again.

SID promises, and I quote, “to try and be really kind, good and angelic, doing deeds of love and charity.”

Well I’ve just returned from the video store and I found THIS on the shelf…







I’m listing here a few of the tamer storylines involving our SID…


Making a £1000 bet with his friend Baz that he can seduce a woman within a week. He attempts hypnosis on a nun, who kicks him in his genitals; buys another pheromone spray (Pig Piss) which only attracts a blind woman's guide dog; and makes a desperate approach to fat, bald, ugly uber-feminist Millie Tant, who repays him with yet another vicious kick. The final frame has Sid begging his mother for £1000 to pay off the grinning Baz.

Attempting to become a biker having read a book about biker chicks. After buying a naff old moped Sid walks into a biker pub and is instantly out of place. Before long he has been severely beaten up, and has had the word 'Twat' engraved on his forehead.

Going to Barcelona, Spain for his friend Joe's brother's bachelor party, because he knows bachelor parties generally involve at least one sex show. Even though Sid is the best man, all the other guys just want to booze themselves silly. Sid finally cracks and outright demands to go to a sex show, and pays all the entrance fees. At the show, a beautiful woman wants a volunteer for a 'strip' - Sid instantly jumps on the stage. The woman blindfolds him and asks him to bend over - and while everybody is watching, a man dressed in a gorilla suit bangs him from behind. Sid still didn't score, but everyone got a good laugh.

Sid and his friends travel to Bangkok after hearing that the prostitutes there will sell themselves for as little as a pound. Sid is robbed at gunpoint by one of these ladies of the night after being tied to the bedpost. The final scene shows Sid trying to earn his flight home by working as a homosexual prostitute. "Just ten more goes and I'll have earned the fare to the airport."



“Good and angelic,” my arse. Perhaps, Born Again SID, you would like to explain?

SID’s Séance and Wake

SID’s final resting place in his beloved “Muggy”




Here at Infomaniac
We’ll give SID his final craic
So raise your glarse
To SID’s fat arse
And pour the Jamesons down his crack



Join me today as we celebrate the life of SID, our Stupid Irish Daddy.

Dear “Dead SID”: if you’re listening from beyond the grave, I apologize for making you dead but you had it coming to you after posting this.

Now back to our purpose for congregating. We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of SID.

Help yourselves to the enticing finger foods I’ve prepared …





…and imbibe copious amounts of alcohol (as SID would have requested we do, had I given him time before offing him.)





Please enjoy yourselves at this, SID’s Irish wake.

At some time over the course of the festivities, we’ll attempt, by conducting a séance, to contact the Jamesons-laden soul of our dear, departed friend.



Ectoplasmic fantastic


Feel free to converse with him just as you would normally if he were still alive. Or you may wish to ask him questions about the afterlife!



As you know, SID was a private man. For professional reasons, he was not able to reveal his secret identity or post photographs of himself.

All this time I have carefully guarded the personal photos he’s sent to me. But now that he’s dead, what’s to stop me from posting them on Infomaniac?! What’s Dead SID going to do about it? Haunt me? BOO! Ooooo, I’m so scared!

Are you ready?

Here’s a recent pic of our SID, taken just days before he purchased his magnetic cross trainer...






Who knows what fabulous shape he might have achieved had he lived to stick with his new exercise regime?

Why, even his stair climbing routine had taken pounds off his arse!…







Sadly, this is the most recent pic we have of SID…






I’ve lifted his hospital gown to reveal “Wee SID.”…




“Wee SID.” I’ll miss you, little buddy




As you know, SID was my bitch and a damn good wench he was. How I’ll miss our regular “sessions”…








But getting back to the wake...


It wouldn’t be a craic without music so let’s hear it for Garfy on banjo!…




That other Oirish cunt



And Piggy conducting the band…





And now, a toast to SID.


A toast to everyone’s favourite Paddy,
He’s our Stupid Irish Daddy!


Sláinte!

Infomaniac News

Here’s the latest on what’s going on in and around Infomaniac. Listen up, bitches, as there’s lot of news.



Baby Pic Compo


Photo removed.


The first ever Infomaniac Baby Pic Compo will be held on Monday, October 22nd. Deadline for submissions is this Friday, October 19th at midnight PST. (Saturday, October 20th at 8:00 am UK time.)

You can submit any photograph of yourself up to 10 years of age.

Thanks to all the bitches who’ve sent their pics in so far. The rest of you lazy bastards, get scanning and sending!





SID’s Séance and Wake






I regret to inform you that I’ve had to make SID dead after he posted this OBVIOUSLY PHOTOSHOPPED image of me on his blog…








SID’s combination wake and séance will be held this Thursday, October 18th. That’s TOMORROW for those of you who are too hung over to check the calendar.

“Spirits” will be provided. We shall attempt to contact the poor, Jamesons-laden soul of the Stupid Oirish Cunt who is now known as “Dead SID.”

Frankly, I have not been able to shut him up since his demise so chances are good we’ll be hearing from him at the wake/séance.

Fun for all.





Tatas Blogs!



Tatas and her pussy



That bawdy bitch Tatas finally has her own blog entitled Connie’s Bitch!

She makes ME look like a saint.

Imagine, for a moment, if Maidy and I got together and reproduced. The resulting bastard child would be Tatas. Now can you picture her?

For those of you who haven’t had the misfortune of meeting Tatas, she is the wife/plaything of Connie the Convict.

She's a Brit. A dirty, filthy Brit.

There is nothing more you need to know about her, really, other than that she’s as common as muck, has a filthy mouth and spends all her time telling us about the size of Connie’s supposedly huge todger.





How Geo Got His Blogging Groove Back



Manly man Geo likes to ride up the rear


Remember when Trucker Boy Geo decided (for reasons unknown) to abandon his old blog?

Well the bitch is back. Visit his new blog here.

For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, Geo is the long-suffering husband of American Psycho Bitch Maidy.

When he’s not driving a big rig, Geo likes to shoot stuff and reenact scenes from World War II.

We like Geo.









That’s all for now, bitches.

Amuse yourselves as best you can as I won’t be around much today. I’m preparing the finger foods for SID’s wake/séance.

I ask only that you not throw up on my blog in my absence.