We can besiege a castle, ride a penny-farthing, play a didgeridoo AND roast your chestnuts on an open fire … all at the same time!
We are The Women of Infomaniac!
We are magnificent!
Stand back, little gurlymen, as we showcase these glorious gals.
Starting with that Mancunian minx, KAZ.
KAZ:
Kaz on vacation (again!) in sunny Spain
KAZ says…
"I'm probably the oldest Infomaniac woman - but I'm certainly not the wisest.
I'm a drinker, an idler and a birder.
I love blues, soul and loud rock music - so why did I choose a jazz fan and a folk singer as my long term significant others?"
Mistress MJ says…
Kaz, would you care to explain that man passed out behind you on the beach?
Were you separated at birth from IVD?
*notes the freakishly bendy fingers, slim figure and penchant for stripey clothing*
Kaz’s maxim is 'Better a weirdo than a wanker'.
FIRST NATIONS:
Ms. Nations says…
here's your damn blurb about me. firstnations. y'all come back now, y' hear?
[ed.note: Sung to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies theme]…
'Come and listen to a story about a muk named First
A poor something something, something something rhymes with 'First',
Then one day she was shootin at some food,
And up through the ground came a vast evil entity fully fifteen feet in height,
adorned with hideous tentacles which writhed and pulsated, swollen with
foul, barely-seen ichors, an entity which filled the atmosphere with
an intolerable and unearthly stench.
Cthulhu, that is. Risen from his death-sleep. In R'lyeh.
Well the first thing you know Muk's met a biker bear,
Biker said 'Muk, lets move away from here'
Said 'Sunny Sumas is the place we ought to be'
So she loaded up her copy of 'At the Mountains of Madness' and moved
to Washington.
State, that is.
Swimmin pools, movie stars. Nyarlathotep. Elder gods.
Mistress MJ says…
Lost in the woods or stranded on a desert island? You’ll want Ms. Nations by your side. The bitch has accomplished 52 of the 101 Life Skills, outnumbering all the other Women of Infomaniac AND all of you so-called men.
What Ms. Nations fails to mention is that she has the biggest gazongas of all The Women of Infomaniac. Massive mammaries. Great heaving milk jugs designed to feed the Canadian Army, should we choose to invade.
BETTY:
Betty says…
"My name is Betty. I have poor social skills and no charisma. Therefore I blog."
Mistress MJ says…
But that’s not all! According to Betty’s Blogger Profile, her interests include: apathy, work avoidance, lack of teamwork skills, not being a people person, surliness, and petty grievances.
ANONYMOUS BOXER:
Boxer says…
“The MJ v. Boxer Story:
I followed MJ from Old K's blog because I needed to know more about the woman who was competing for the Old Man's Cap. After months of stalking, I realized if you can't beat 'em, join 'em and I signed on to be one of the many Women of Infomaniac.
The coveted cap
We worked out an epic custody agreement regarding Old K's Blog, Cap and any other women who attempted to cross our collectjve paths. What was once a battle for the Man of our Dreams turned into a happy truce. Once I had accepted this, I was able to accept Infomaniac into my life. Praise the Lord and pass the bottle.
And despite that many think I'm male (can't imagine why a picture of dog, boxing wouldn't be female) I live in Seattle, WA and own a small business. I do box and I like to make videos, but only when I use my small dogs as stars.”
Mistress MJ says…
The woman is clearly delusional if she thinks I’m sharing Old Knudsen.
MISS SCARLET:
Miss Scarlet says ...
“Still looking for Colonel Mustard... or a professional with big plums will do”...
Mistress MJ says…
Let us add that Miss Scarlet is from East Sussex in England and enjoys staying at home to lick her Smeg.
SAVANNAH:
Savannah says…
“savannah is mad, bad and dangerous to know. she's a hard drinking, hard living, all around party girl with naturally curly hair!”
Mistress MJ says…
In summary: A southern strumpet from Savannah, Georgia.
We would also like to point out that Savannah and Mistress MJ were separated at birth.
LEAH:
Leah says…
"Leah is a housewife who has been whining about, but not actually finishing, her doctoral dissertation for the past 24 months. This is because the Hogwarts dungeons where she lives with Severus Snape are chilly and dimly lit, so that her eyesight is failing and her fingers are now too numb to type. Not because she is lazy or likes to goof off."
Mistress MJ says…
Leah has abandoned her dissertation in favour of writing an upcoming review on The Penis Book for us.
We would also like to mention a few fave quotes from her 100 Things About Me post…
"My boobs are the absolute bane of my existence."
"I like to apply very expensive scented lotion to my decolletage."
"I love prescription tranquilizers."
RANDOM CHICK:
Random Chick says…
“Random Chick lives near San Francisco, California and loves to write stupid poems, like the one about her butt probe. She can often be spotted out and about in her stylish hat but be careful because she randomly grabs strange beverages and licks them. Random Chick stumbled up on Infomaniac through a fellow blogger and immediately was hooked after reading "Celebrity Arse," "Fag, Hag, and the Odd Slag Dating Service," and the posts where Mistress MJ was kidnapped by the Yakuza then toured the galaxy in a TARDIS. The refined humor is what keeps her coming back.”
Mistress MJ says…
Thank you for bringing Celebrity Arse to our attention. It appears that we haven’t posted a Celebrity Arse since June! Mistress MJ is em-bare-assed to admit that she’s misplaced her list of Celebrity Arse requests. Did you put in a request, Random Chick?
PONITA:
Ponita says…
“Hailing from the land of perpetual wind and giant mosquitoes [ed.note: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada], not to mention Siberian-like winter temperatures and short men, Ponita is a true Viking warrior woman who was a (distant) second to First Nation's first in 101 Life Skills. Hoo-Rah to the women for smokin' the guys on that list! Nations can do everything on that list, but Ponita has the knowledge and/or experience to perform just over 40 of said items.
A buxom and leggy Prairie girl, Ponita grew up traversing our great country as an Air Force brat. The gypsy blood instilled in childhood set her up for the adventures of continued traipsing across Canada and the USA as an adult. She can pack an entire household in less than a week and load a 22' truck in a couple of hours.
Ponita resides in her own house with Slobber dog, That Damn Cat and BB, the wonderously magic Hairball Dispenser. Her days are spent nursing the ill, wiping dog spit off every object in the house and cleaning up hairballs, both fresh and regurgitated. For additonal excitement, she heads to the barn to visit Thunder the Wonder Pony, wearer of the Giant Underpants.
A shamless flirt, Ponita has been blogging since the spring of '08 and has amassed a loyal following of seven. She enjoys blogging, twittering and hanging out with her Cowgirl Mafia girlfriends at the Olive Garden, gorging on breadsticks and yakking the evenings away. Having experienced the pitfalls of fishing for a man in the shark infested ponds that populate Cyberspace, she is now content to lean her fishing pole against a wall and forget about casting her line in those turbulent waters.”
Mistress MJ says…
Don’t mess with a Viking chick.
EMMAK:
EmmaK ogling a colored cock at a Viennese private view
EmmaK says…
“A robust Austrian with a fetish for kinky boots (see pic), EmmaK enjoys man eating, eating man meat, as well as painting on men (see attached pic).Her ambitions are world domination and her greatest joy would be to see ABBA reform or to see Old Knudson in Playgirl. She loves Infomaniac for its shocking lack of political correctness and the ability to shock a woman even of her sluttish sensibilities.”
Mistress MJ says…
EmmaK currently calls Baltimore home. Baltimore is also known as “Charm City” and “Hairdo Capital of the World.” As Baltimore’s own great son John Waters said, "It's the place where all the southern hillbillies on their way to the north ran out of gas --and decided to stay...".
We have it on good authority that EmmaK is a bit of a goer.
DAISY:
Daisy says…
okay...about me? not much interesting...
i'm a child protection investigator but i don't do my job as a cop and don't do it just for the paycheck
i quilt for those i love
i love my dogs...if i didn't they would surely be dead by now
i'm a vicious flirt...but mean no harm
i love being italian, except when straightening my hair in the morning
my eyes change from blue to green depending on my mood
i'm not really nervous meeting people for the first time except Electro Kevin and he got me at a loss for words...really he did...and i don't know why
I HATE LIMA BEANS!
i'm a joker, i'm a smoker, and i used to be a toker
i find myself equally comfortable in jeans and tennis shoes as i do dressed to the nines, which people tell me is odd
I ALWAYS SIT UP STRAIGHT!
i have always touch typed and wear out the letters on all my keyboards regulary where normal people cannot use them after me (that can be a good thing)
i love deeply and leave quickly...
People tell me their deepest darkest secrets even when i don't want to know them...um...even in the damn grocery store when i don't know them full stop
i have one son, one husband, one boyfriend and 3 dogs...guess which i like most
I HATE LAWYERS! but love to testify in court
i cannot abide lies...and yes the husband knows about the boyfriend and the boyfriend knows about the husband and we have all been out together more than once...no shit i just don't lie about it.
i wear a lot of black...pants, skirts; and a lot of purple shirts, blouses, sweaters
purple is my favorite colour, has been even before it was popular
Mistress MJ says…
Zzzzz. You’re right. There wasn’t much interesting there at all. No, not even that bit about your three-way with your husband and your boyfriend. No, nothing at all of interest. HELLO!
UBERMOUTH:
Ubermouth says…
Dear Fellow She-Bitch,
I am a wonderful woman of Infomaniac- I AM!
I am from Surrey, England-although, I grew up in Canada,if we're getting technical-but I AM an English rose [ed.note: removal here of line Ubermouth told me not to print] <------------------Don't print that. My interests- reading, films, dancing, music and bringing certain men down a peg or two. I love Infomaniac because I recognize a fellow bitch and blog whore in you. Isn't it amazing how men love bitches like us? It's kind of sad that some women waste so much time being 'nice' to them,having not figured this out. Back to sycophanty---------->Your blog is only one of a couple which makes me laugh.
I have sent you both my pic and av, to give you a choice. I don't care which one you use but I had better not find an ugly, saggy breasted woman attached to my face.
You're just enough of a cow to do that too, aren't you? :)
Mistress MJ says…
Whatever are you on about?
ROBYN:
Robyn says.
“Well...I am loyal to a fault, I am very passionate, I have beat cancer not once but 2x's, I love my family and friends! I worked since I was 14 so no slouch! I live in Sacramento,CA. I love scrapbooking, traveling, writing, photography, working out (and yes that includes lots of sex...lol)!
And I just love you because you are one Sassy bitch!”
Mistress MJ says…
You dirty scrapbooking bitch, you. We know your type.
PEEVISH:
Peevish says…
I've been a faithful Infomaniac reader, but a lackadaisical commenter for well over a year now. I enjoy your forays into smut and love reading the comments from the assemblage of motley characters that also find fulfillment here. A bit about me, well, can only be a bit, as I enjoy my anonymity. What you can know is this: I'm a 38 year old American woman, who loves all things chocolate and Duran Duran in equal measure. I've been married to the World's Cheapest Man for 18 years and have one wee earth angel - Miss Peanut. I speak English, French, and enough Spanish to get me satisfactorily laid and fed in South and/or Central America, should that opportunity ever present itself. Here's a photo, but you'll have to pardon the cheesy thumbs-up.
Mistress MJ says…
Move to South America and hook up with a man who appreciates your smart and stylish self. Or send the cheap-ass husband to Mistress MJ for training. She’ll soon have him emptying his wallet and handing over the credit cards to you.
CARNALIS:
Carnalis says...
"Buried in the english countryside with small boys and a raging libido, carnalis bakes away her frustrations, and, with the help of a collection of sex toys (flesh and otherwise), keeps herself busy and flushed.
The reason i like infomaniac? .. 'cos i have a secret crush on MJ, and a not-so-secret lust for Old Knudsen."
Mistress MJ says...
Did someone leave the window open? Is there a cold draft in here?
And finally, here’s your hostess, Mistress MJ herself…
Swingin’
Bow down and worship us, O Men of Infomaniac.
