Friday, February 16, 2018

The Year of the Bitch

Chinese New Year begins today and 2018 is the Year of the Dog...


Or as we here at Infomaniac like to call it, THE YEAR OF THE BITCH.

Chinese people believe that what you do during the Chinese New Year festival will affect your luck for the entire following year. You should avoid crying children, don't do laundry, don't sweep the floor, and don't wash your hair. Can you manage that?

We hope the dog in the photo (above) has purchased his book prior to the new year because buying books during the festival will make you lose your luck. Book (书 / shū ) is a homonym for lose (失去 / shīqù).

Happy Chinese New Year, Bitches!

23 comments:

  1. I prefer the Year of the Cock myself. Much more bountiful.

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    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: You’ll have to wait until 2029 for the next Year of the Cock.

      Can you hold out that long?

      Delete
  2. Verfluchter Mist - I am doomed ! I hoovered this appartement, took a shower & of course washed my hair. Selected clothes etc for laundry. Now all I need is a crying kid. Do the Chinese have a devil who grabs people and drags them into the underworld ?

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    1. MAGO: Danke. I’ve learned a new German curse word.

      Chinese devils? We could start with the people behind this scandal.

      Delete
  3. Oh damn. I know will ruin several checks writing "Year Of The Rooster" until I get used to the New Year.

    Happy New Year Mistress!

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    Replies
    1. LX: Ha! At the end of this year, I'll try to give you advance notice about the Year of the Pig.

      Delete
  4. Oh thank Dog, I couldn't be bothered to wash my hair, vacuum, or do the laundry this morning... is it okay to do these things tomorrow?
    Sx

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    1. MISS SCARLET: It's my understanding that the Chinese New Year festival lasts for about 23 days.

      Hoover at your own peril.

      Delete
  5. 'you should avoid crying children' there was one of those in supermarket today, screaming it's head off for a Pepa Pig magazine.

    Is it permissible to use dry shampoo collar and cuffs?

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    1. MITZI: I’ve checked but it mentions nothing about collars and cuffs; only Hair must not be washed on the first day of the lunar year.

      Come back on Saturday to see a post that was inspired by your comment on my toilet tank post.

      People should not have children.

      Delete
    2. I hope I haven't inspired anything old and grotty.

      Delete
    3. MITZI: Pay for your ticket and take your place in the queue, like everyone else.

      You'll find out soon enough.

      Delete
  6. As long as I don't get a visit from either Inexcuseable or Indescribable and their bratty kids, I should be able to make it until tomorrow! Just under four hours to go!

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    1. P.S. That Dog looks very confused. Either he's not passed level three reading, or the book is about the wrong sex.

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    2. MR. DeVICE: And then you have to hose down your house, after they leave.

      Perhaps the dog just found out his girlfriend is one of the models.

      Delete
    3. I find it ironic how a dog is looking to get himself some pussy!

      I'm in the mood for Chinese now.



      Delete
    4. EROS: In the mood for Chinese? Here are some top Chinese New Year lucky foods and their symbolism:
      • Noodles – happiness and longevity.
      • Dumplings and spring rolls – wealth.
      • Tangyuan (sweet rice balls) – family togetherness.
      • Niangao (glutinous rice cake) – higher income or status.
      • Tangerines and oranges – fullness and wealth.
      • Fish – an increase in prosperity.

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  7. Hurrah! We moved just in time, to get away from screaming "Demon Spawn" children. As for the rest of it, well if you can't be a skanky bitch at the dawning of the Year of the Dog, when can you be? Jx

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    Replies
    1. JON: A toast to your new home!

      And to skanky bitches.

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    3. Fortunately (unfortunately if I were Chinese) our washing machine was finally fixed yesterday (another of our post-move, post-holiday woes; add it to the list) so at least we have clean knickers. Not so skanky now... Jx

      Delete
  8. Oh no! I got ny hair cut this afternoon so I washed it as soon as I got home ( I can't stand the little scratchy hair debris on my neck.) Fine. Now I'll have Chinese bad luck.

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    Replies
    1. PEENEE: It's not like I didn't warn you!

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