Saturday, February 17, 2018

How Do You Poop?

In a previous post, describing her toilet tank lid, Mitzi said, "Mine has a push button centrepiece with dual flush so it's clutter free, except for the occasional spare toilet roll, which is a good thing really, because when I'm feeling a bit worse for wear or dealing with a difficult boulder, I like to sit facing the cistern."


(click pic to enlarge)

What about the rest of you Bitches...

Which image best illustrates how you poop?

23 comments:

  1. When I forget to wear my stilettos into the loo, I use this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NORMA: I dare not ask what they mean by “blowout” sale.

      Delete
    2. Norma!
      I use the classic, and love it!
      To squat is to live!

      Delete
    3. Just because one uses a stool doesn't mean one gets rewarded with a stool, but I'm thrilled for you Testo. I have to call in the heavy artillery and have it blown out of me.

      Delete
    4. TESTO: (Good nickname, Norma)

      To squat is to live. I envision a line of t-shirts and bumper stickers.

      Delete
  2. Good Lord! Anything other than position one is just wrong!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EROS: I declare you the “Poop Police.”

      Delete
  3. And one wonders why there are so many accidents and deaths in the bathroom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: Alas, it’s too late for Elvis.

      Delete
  4. If I was to do something as disgusting as pooing (dirty, filthy humans!), I'd do it side saddle. Like a lady.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MR. DeVICE: But you wouldn’t have the leg room, would you?

      Delete
  5. Position 1. When the tortoise is curious but doesn't want to come out, you can encourage it by gently rocking back and forth.

    Position 3. Is good way to practice the Lamaze technique usually with head resting on the cistern, the maid comes in every half hour with a cuppa tea and rubs one's lower back saying 'it won't be long now'

    Position 5 and 6. That's how the Chinese shit as do the French and the Arabs no toilet paper, they use a hose pipe or a sponge on a stick!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MITZI: There’s something soothing about gently rocking back and forth.

      Thank goodness neither one of us will ever have to concern ourselves with Lamaze.

      #5 & 6 are sanitary concerns, considering that if this is done in a public loo, the crud from shoes gets onto the toilet seat. I’m getting constipated just thinking about the germs.

      Lastly, thank you for inspiring this post.

      Delete
  6. I am concerned about the 0 position.
    As for those with constipation I recommend a glass of soya milk every day, plenty of water, and if this doesn't sort out the problem, then orange juice is a good shifter.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Konsyl, once a day, well mixed with water. Makes everything "fluffy".

      Delete
    2. MISS SCARLET: Image zero has a “goodbye, cruel world” vibe about it but frankly, it’s not the way I’d want to go.

      MISS SCARLET & COOKIE: The Mistress’s forebears swore by stewed prunes to keep things regular and bran for “roughage.”

      Delete
  7. Well, because I have been re-plumbed (partial colectomy; they removed two feet of colon, stretched out what was left and connected it, because chronic diverticulitis) I no longer have a lower colon ligament - the thing that they say the Squatty Potty needs to stretch. So even though everything is all hooked up, I have two feet less then everyone else. So how and when I need to remove myself from the public to poo, and happens very fast, usually after eating. Take good care of colon. Or you'll end up like me, with a semi-colon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. COOKIE: A semi-colon. Teehee. You’re a gastro-intestinal grammarian.

      Delete
  8. Don't push it, don't force it
    Let it happen naturally!"


    Jx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JON & NORMA: Is it a coincidence that the song was Number TWO on the R&B charts in 1980?

      Delete
  9. I am a 6er and proud of it. Except I don't do it in public. That's just too weird even for me. I also don't lower the seat and place my feet on the porcelain rim. It's the same idea as the Squatty Potty, but free. Anything above 6 is ridiculous and asking for trouble.

    I'm happy to share Too Much Information.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PEENEE: Do you have enough ceiling clearance?

      Delete