Thursday, November 08, 2007

Google Searches – Day 1

Johnny Depp’s arse

For the next several days we’ll be reading about the Google searches that led people to Infomaniac.

Infomaniac gets loads of searches looking for celebrities but that won’t be our focus. However, while we’re on the topic, here’s a peek at a few popular celebrity searches that ended up on my blog…

Johnny Depp naked
Will Mellor cock
Fern Britton boobs
Chris Evans full frontal nude pics
Kate Garraway tits out
Kelly Brooks arse
Prince Harry’s hardon
Prince Harry’s cock and balls
Barbara Windsor naked
Gail Platt topless

So rather than focus on famous names in the news, I’ve chosen to select those Google searches which I’m convinced are people looking for YOU, Infomaniac bitches.

Over the next week, I’ll be documenting the searches that have led people to Infomaniac looking for everyone from SID to Smunty. Not all of you will be listed but do drop in nonetheless to have a laff.

To get it out of the way (because I know you’ll want to take a poke at me) I’m starting with …


These are searches from folk who obviously were trying to find me. See if you agree…

Canuck cunt
Canadian cunts
Canadian smells
Infomaniac who want sex
Infomaniac woman
Embrace the vices
MJ ugly mistress
Hooker shoes

I'm a Dirty Filthy Cocksucking Cunt!

Cock sucking adults
Cocksucking tales

Infomaniac diseases
Addicted to dick
mj feets photo
Wet old pussy

i like spanking naughty boys

Arse whipping for men and boys
MJ slut Canada
mj's pussy
slags in tights
MJ spanked

And finally…

shorts on head

That’s it for now, bitches. Be sure to come back tomorrow for Google Searches – Day 2.


  1. Yay First!

    Surely 'Hooker Shoes' was meant for CyberPoo?

  2. Yes, but most of those searches are courtesty of Piggy and Tazzy. Who else would look for "MJ slut Canada".

    Horrible memories of Gail Platt's mammaries. I think I'm going to be sick now.

  3. So have you looked up

    Big gobbets of cunt phlegm matted hairballs yet?

  4. All of you (except for Betty) had better keep a low profile as your turn is coming.

    Betty’s search words have been much more respectable and I regret bringing back bad mammaries for her.

    And Tatas? I’ve seen that particular term leads to an image of you, not surprisingly.

  5. What - no one searched for 'mj's tits naked' after seeing that last pic'.

    Are all your male readers gay?

  6. Wot, no 'MJ pervy dancing lederhosen group sex' searches?

    How peculiar.

  7. KAZ: Are all my male readers gay?

    Well they were today so far 'til Garfy dropped in.

    Give my jubblies a squeeze on the way out, eh Kaz? That's a good girl.

    GARFY: Funny you mention that as my buddy in Toronto just emailed me pics of himself in lederhosen.

    Which reminds me...why haven't you emailed a photo of your bare arse to me yet?

  8. He's got nappy rash and doesn't want it to be known.

  9. I was unaware that jubbly squeezing was an option.

    Now, where does that queue form?

  10. Rimmer - When I was a child (not so many moons ago), a 'Jubbly' was a pyramid shaped frozen juice thing.

    Sort of like a carton of ribena or Vimto, but frozen and pyramid shaped.

    I used to snip the corner off. Suck all of the juice out and then chuck away the remaining pyramid shaped ice-cube.

    They were shite, if I remember correctly.

  11. PIGGY: That would explain why Garfy’s been so miserable.

    Let’s rub some cream into his wee botty.

    RIMMER: You have to be a member of an exclusive club.

    See if SID will lend you his Gold Card.

    TATAS: Your day is coming, slag.

    PIGGY: Wasn’t mead the popular beverage of your era?

  12. P&T: So what you're telling me is that you...1.) snip off the end, 2.) suck out the juice and 3.) The guys name was Chuck or something.

  13. Rimmee - Over here in Blighty we don't have stupid names such as 'Chuck'.

    Quite a few Abdul's and, increasingly these days, Polish names.

    But we try not to talk about them.

    Or to them.

  14. Yes, Chuck would be idiotic. Not at all as studpid as Niamh or Georgina or Rhys or Harry (yes, I'd like to name my son after an unfortunate predisposition toward furriness) or Callum or Kieran. And isn't your crown prince named Chuck (blimey, how soon they forget. Must be all the blood pudding and warm beer).

  15. MJ: on second thought, I'll pass on the jubbly squeezing club. I'm not much of a joiner.

  16. RIMMER: I had a stop put on my Gold Card in the meantime just in case you tried to use it.

  17. I see that you top the search for "canadian slut sucks syphillitic piles". Congratulations.

  18. My ego says that I must search for myself a lot, its one way I find strangers that are talking about me and I put that spanking picture up on my bitter old balls blog, as examples of other bloggers love for me.

  19. idv top search: 'Glowing chicken shorts'

    be honest, mj. put up the whole thing.
    'Fisting Nun Bath'
    'Vaseline shoe'
    'Spanking a man with an ostomy bag'
    'Not monopoly money'
    'Do me hard eh'
    'Birthing a Jamesons bottle'

  20. MJ - Gold card? Oh how very common! They give them to any old has-been these days.

    We've got platinum. Only one, but we've still got one. The rest are all the colours of the rainbow, including one with a bloody goldfish on it.

  21. CONNIE: It’s not as bad as…

    Never mind. You’ll get yours soon enough. I’m not giving anything away in advance.

    KNUDSEN: The way you were dressed you were asking for it.

    You could have taken off your socks though.

    FN: The reason my shoes are coated in Vaseline is because of the many arses I have to kick around here.

    Including yours if you don’t shut it.

    PIGGY: Like yours for instance.

    *Slips on KY-Shoes*

  22. A common search for my recipe site = fur burger. Nice!

  23. upset waitress: can I nibble on your hairy pie?

  24. WAITRESS & CONNIE: I'll leave you two to it then, shall I?

    Does the fur burger come with fish sauce?

  25. Two beef patties and special sauce

  26. I don't know about you MJ but that fucking waitress isn't here. Must be you imagination love.

  27. People just write "cunt".

    I usually come up.

  28. TATAS: Damn. I thought this blog was finally up for a bitchfight that didn't involve me.

    SID: Oh but there's SO MUCH MORE they type in when looking for you, SID.


    TATAS: You have to ask?

  29. SID: High anxiety should be setting in by now.

    I was going to post yours tomorrow but I think I'll keep you waiting a few more days.

    Yes, that's the ticket.

    *bides time*

  30. Oi BITCH. if you wanna fight just tell me the time and place and I'll bite your ass.

    Maidy: Coming to play?

    P&T: I'm sure you two bitches would like to join in too.
    No Connie wont be joining in.

  31. TATAS: Connie will be too busy filming it.

  32. convict:: It's a very tedious process collecting my hairs from every corner of the restaurant. We charge extra for the giant ones in the back of the house. My drunk cook has picked his downstairs completely bald so we no longer have hair as a side dish. So, if you can wait til it gets really cold outside, I will have a winter coat waiting to shed on your pie.