Tuesday, November 20, 2007

How to Accurately Measure Your Penis

“Wee SID” receiving an accurate measurement

Go on, fellas. Get yer willies out.

Ladies (and I use that term loosely around here) you can help out if you have a partner who’s up to it.

Here’s today's project for you. A do-it-yourself guide for measuring your penis correctly.

So simple, even those who have bendy cocks can do it!

When you’ve completed this project, don’t feel pressured to tell us your measurements (oh, g’won, do) but tell us how you got on with this exercise.


  1. You just know they are all going to lie......
    Whats that Mr Piggy?? 10 inches
    Yeah right

  2. It'll be 10 inches right up your fucking arse, Beasty. Will a cavemans spiky club, not my winky.

  3. Umm.........................Connies cock.
    Fancy doing a post on cocks now I'm getting horny and have to go shopping.

    That's one thing you wont get out of me, the size of Connie's cock but i know how much T&P would like to know.

    *Oh Connies cock*

  4. 'with a', not 'will a'

    Fucking interweb is playing with my keyboard again.

  5. Tatas darling, we'll know how 'big' Connies cock is in a few weeks time.

    We'll take pics of it for everyone, if they'd like.

  6. BEAST: SID didn't lie about "Wee SID" so if SID can come clean *titters* I have faith in the rest of them.

    Mind the wee "Caveman" stick that Piggy's waving around.

    TATAS: Gone shopping where?

    Ann Summers?

    Did you run out of batteries?

    PIGGY: While you're taking pics of Connie's cock, get a shot of his arse. The shot he promised me months ago.

  7. MJ, You certainly seem to be getting a lot of mileage out of that picture. I'm assuming it's something very near and dear to you.

  8. Rimmer - I'm surprised she's getting so much mileage too - especially as its YET ANOTHER recycled pic!

    The lazy fucking bitch.

  9. So c'mon MJ, do tell us...how did your penis measure up?

  10. oh MJ you just made my night and gave me an exercise i just had to do...i'll not state his size but can say with all honesty...more than a mouthful is not a waste...;)

  11. * tuts *

    I'm above all this nonsense.



    Above average, that is!

  12. Canuck Cunt!

    *goes off to find metre rule to measure MJ's neck*

  13. Using tweezers and a magnifying glass, I still couldn't find my boyfriends slong. Thank the late JC for puppies and peanut butter.

  14. RIMMER: “Wee SID” puts a song in my heart and a smile on my lips.

    SMUNTY: So were you able to measure despite the bend in the road?

    Did Carly have to put it in a vice to keep it straight?

    PIGGY: Send me a pic of YOUR prick then and I’ll have something new to post.

    RIMMER: If it’s cock you’re looking for, I can direct you to some other blogs.

    DAISY: I like to say that in “Wee SID’s” case, more than a mouthful IS a waste.

    It makes him swell with pride.

    (Though not enough that you’d notice a difference in the measurement…tee hee!)

    IVD: Above average perhaps, but with all those warts who wants to go near it?

    SID: Shut it or your measurement will change to nanometres.

    WAITRESS: Did you nick that peanut butter from work? I hope you’re not planning to return it after that!

  15. mines eight inches. my husbands about the same. we wear the same size jock, too!
    *is happy about being thrifty*

  16. FN: So which one of you gets to wear the condom?

  17. Will you be showing us how to measure vazjeens tomorrow?

  18. HE: You've been watching too much Oprah with her vajayjay talk.

  19. Ok. So I showed my boyfriend your post. He wants to know how he can get a big penis like this one.

  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

  21. WAITRESS: Obviously your boyfriend doesn't have an email account and a blog.

    Get him set up and he'll get lots of free advice on how to get a bigger willy.