Mute Button Pressed on Remote Control Inventor’s Life

Robert Adler


The man who “helped make TV a truly sedentary pastime” has died.

The co-inventor of the TV remote control, Robert Adler, died Thursday, February 15th at age 93.

His widow Ingrid said the remote was not his favourite invention, that he rarely watched television and was "more of a reader".


I wonder, would Adler have predicted that one invention could cause so much spousal stress?



Al Bundy of “Married With Children”



One fed-up wife got revenge on eBay. “I'm Selling My Husband's Remote Control!” … with pics.



Now this story from Ananova.com…

A Malaysian man who sneaked out of bed to watch England’s Euro 2004 opener was assaulted by his wife who was armed with the TV remote control.

The man’s wife also took the smart card from their pay television service to prevent him from watching future live soccer, says the Malaysian Star.

The 46-year-old salesman, identified only as Yap, claimed his wife forced him to go to bed early because he had to take their two children to school the next day.

He said: “She refused to allow me to watch the game although I promised not oversleep or shun my responsibility of sending the children to school.”

Maybe she should have tried the remote control jammer instead.






You’ve got to ask yourself. Couldn’t folks like these just get 2 TV sets?…


MAN KILLED DURING FIGHT OVER TV REMOTE

MONTGOMERY (AP) — An apparent argument over a television remote control led to the fatal stabbing of a man who tried to break up the fight.

Police said the victim, Maurice Alexander Ford, 25, died at Thursday at Jackson Hospital following the dispute between his sister and her husband.

Police spokesman Lt. Huey Thornton said Wesley Jerome Braswell, 45, of Montgomery has been charged with murder.

Braswell remained in jail on $50,000 bond.

Thornton said Braswell and Debra Ford argued over a TV remote control in a bedroom of their home when Maurice Ford tried to break up the fight.

Ford was stabbed with a carving knife once in the upper chest, near his neck.

WIFE FATALLY SHOOTS HUBBY OVER REMOTE CONTROL

A lot of married couples bicker over who gets to wield the remote control, but Florida wife Caron Simmons took the argument too far.

Simmons, 46, shot and killed her husband after he hid the remote to their satellite television, according to the Orlando Sentinel.

The 48-year-old man was rushed to Orlando Regional Medical Center where he was pronounced dead.

The two had been battling for channel-changing supremacy until the husband buried the TV remote, reportedly to annoy his wife.

While searching for it, the woman uncovered a gun in a dresser.

She aimed the gun at her husband and it went off, firing a bullet into his chest.

Simmons, who told investigators she did not mean to kill her husband of four years, has been charged with second-degree murder.

I’m thinking that whole scenario could have been avoided if Caron had this giant remote control. There’s no way her husband could have hid that sucker!


So what’s been the worst case scenario in your household with the remote control?

Body Part Art

Tim Patch: penis painter


Previously on Infomaniac, I reported on Australia’s Tim Patch (aka Pricasso), an artist who paints with his penis.


So I wondered, “How many other body parts can be used as paintbrushes?”



BREAST ARTISTS

Di Peel (another Aussie) paints with her breasts.



Di Peel: breast artist


"I sign every picture with my nipple" says Di.


And another artist who pops her pumpkins into the paint pot…



Cherries (above) by Angel Tolentino

American Angel Tolentino (Breast Pals) uses her 34B brushes to create works of art for charity.




ARSE ARTIST


Tulip Butts


American artist Stan Murmur paints with his posterior.

Cheeky Stan smears paint on his butt cheeks and then applies his bare arse to the canvas.

Murmur was fired from his job for this TV interview where he demonstrated his butt-painting technique….







VAGINA ARTIST





"J" applies paint around her vagina and thighs and presses it against the canvas.

Viva la vulva!


And while we’re “down there”…



MENSTRUAL ARTIST





Vanessa Tiegs paints with menstrual blood.

*wonders if her paintings were created during her “red period.”*


Well that’s all for today, bitches.

I’m off to the art supply store.

Farmer Giles’ Cock Blog

Farmer Giles’ Cock Blog has moved. Please update your links…
farmergilescockblog.blogspot.com

This is a blog for mature cock-loving adults, written by a cock lover.

Filthy Friday

The Make Your Own Dildo kit was designed to allow any man to make a completely accurate rubber copy of his own penis from the comfort & privacy of his own home.

And according to this question in the FAQ, even our bendy boy Stevey can make one!…

Q: What if my penis is crooked?
A: No Problem. The directions contain a simple additional step to accommodate any ‘curve’.

A couple of testimonials…

"Long-distance lovers and those on the road a lot can give girlfriends a remembrance of them to, well, hold onto while they're apart."
- Dr. Judy Kuriansky

"You leave it in there for about a minute, pull it out, and then you have the mold. Then you pour in the soft rubber stuff, let it sit overnight, pop it out in the morning, and you're good to go!"
- Tommy Lee

So go on, fellas. Tell us how you make out with the kit and we’ll post the pics on Infomaniac.

Quiz Time!

Yay! It’s quiz time on Infomaniac!

I know you’ve all shagged yourselves out from yesterday’s LoveFest and you’re completely knackered.

The last thing you want is to strain yourselves trying to read and comprehend the usual highly intellectual content of this blog.






So this is a very short quiz.

It will only take a couple of minutes of your time.

The results are astonishing!

Take the quiz now.

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Happy Valentine’s Day, bitches!



Are you ready for Freddie?

Too late. ‘Cause here he comes.



QUEEN: Crazy Little Thing Called Love…

Come Away With Me

THE SOURTOE COCKTAIL: A Canadian Tradition

Drink up!



This posting was inspired by British ex-pat Eddie Waring (now in L.A.) who posted a gruesome toe story on his blog.

And Winterpeg’s Homo Escapeons who reminded me of The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC), which in turn reminded me of the CRTC’s Canadian Content (CanCon) requirements. So this is my effort to increase my CanCon quota on this blog.

And now (without further rambling) … the story of Canada’s Sourtoe Cocktail.

Established in 1973, the Sourtoe Cocktail has become a Dawson City tradition.

The original rules were that the toe must be placed in a beer glass full of champagne, and that the toe must touch the drinker's lips during the consumtion of the alcohol before he or she can claim to be a true Sourtoer.

The rules have changed in the past twenty-seven years. The Sourtoe can be had with any drink now (even ones that aren't alcoholic), but one rule remains the same. The drinker's lips must touch the toe. " You can drink it fast, you can drink it slow-- But the lips have gotta touch the toe."

The Sourtoes are actual human toes that have been dehydrated and preserved in salt. Swallowing one is not suggested.

Source: The Sourtoe Cocktail Club FAQ

Blogging Roundup

A peek at ‘the week that was’ with a handful of Infomaniac’s readers.

Didn’t get included in this week’s Roundup? Bribe me. It worked for Mutley.


AWAITING:


“eat me…and eat me good”


Awaiting offered up timely Valentine lingerie-buying tips.



MAIDY:


Maidy and Dinkers


Philadelphia’s most shaggable “pergnant” bi-bitch, Maidy, has been through a week of blogging hell.

And I’m not referring to our numerous bitch fights.

Due to a corruption in the database, Maidy’s blog went tits up. Sadly, much of her content was lost.

But you can’t keep a good woman down. (Though I've tried.)

Maidy’s blog is already back up and running!

Be sure to update your links to Life, Family, et al…
http://lifefamilyetal.com





KAZ:


Les Battersby in his snakeskin “pulling jacket”


Kaz gave tips on what not to wear if you’re a woman of a certain age.

Keen readers chipped in to offer advice to the blokes too.

Coronation Street’s Les Battersby, in particular, was held up as a bad fashion role model.



TICKERS:


Our Tickers: a looker


After much complaining on my part that he doesn’t update his blog often enough, Tickers has been blogging like a madwoman.



BETTY:

Betty (Betty’s Utility Room) gave us her take on the British makeover show “10 Years Younger,” asked us to assess the impact of lyrics on our lives, and bemoaned having too many scarves.



GEOFF:

Geoff (Contains Mild Peril) was inspired to pen The Ballad Of The Boy With A One Track Blog sung to the tune of Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain.”



STEVE:



Stevey Mong Face


England’s finest postie, Steve, promised us “101 things to do with discarded Royal Mail red rubber bands” but as of the time of this posting, it still hasn’t appeared on his blog.

Instead, we’ll have to make do with his posting on “Super Tonio” the giant, minge-stretching Mexican baby.




IDV:


Beaky


IDV (Inexplicable DeVice) was surprised to find that his familiar, Beaky, has resurfaced.



OLD KNUDSEN:


Shirley aka Gobbling Granny


Old Knudsen (Old Bitter Balls) has given up on luring me into his stable of ready and willing weemen.

He’s set his heart upon some floosie named Shirley, also known as Gobbling Granny.

Here’s what Knudsen has to say about her…

"The Gobbling Granny or Shirley as she let it be known to me looked rather tasty as you can see from the picture above, shes 43 and has dentures (I love that in a woman) full control of her bowels and enjoys making men come, she says her own pleasure isn't important . Shirley has certificates in Blowjobs, Rimjobs and was named Miss Dirty Sanchez 1982."



WITHIN WITHOUT:


Men With Brooms


WW (Snippets From Spaceship Orion) considers buying a new car as his Ford CUNTour is kacking out.

Car names are giving this Winterpegonian an identity crisis as he ponders whether he’s an Explorer Man (he of the great outdoors and associated with all that name suggests) or a Ram Man.

And wait for it… WW’s been watching CURLING all weekend as hibernating Canucks tend to do.



HOMO ESCAPEONS:



HE (Homo Escapeons) said “ta ta” to Anna Nicole Smith’s tatas.




FIRST NATIONS:


First Nations photographed the metric shitpiles of giant carnivorous birds within a one-mile radius of her house.




CHELLY:




The lovely Chelly of However blog has added several new contributors (including MJ) to her other blog, “I Miss My Childhood.”



PRU:


Richie Sambora


Pru (prunella de ville) related all the bad things she’s ever done including swiping Richie Sambora’s sunscreen.




TAZZY AND PIGGY:


Tazzy and Piggy posted nothing but a load of shite on their blog this week.

So let’s go back to the previous week to this little 8-second gem as Yorkshire’s finest poofs say “hello” in their own fantastic manner…




I never tire of watching that.

Tazzy’s Yorkshire accent is gorgeous (for a moment I forgot he’s a poof) and isn’t that just the cutest wee Piggy you’ve ever seen?





MUTLEY THE DOG:


Mutley the Dog has been appointed Head of Tourism for Bridport.

Join him as he reviews the exciting events taking place this month in Bridport.

I’ve already got my tickets for tonight’s “Fuck a Gnome Night at the Kings Head (18+).”

Note to Mutley: Now where’s that live wanking show you promised me?





FROBI:



Frobi’s still on the mend after suffering a bout of the Manflu.


Get well soon, Frobi dear.



CONVICT:



Convict offered us up a range of badges to choose from and wear proudly.




SID:

SID (Stupid Irish Daddy) continues to find the best vintage music clips that YouTube has to offer.

This week: Reg Kehoe and the fabulous Marimba Queens.



Nice one, SID. But yer still a cunt.

Oh, and about that February 11th posting of yours? I’m gonna get you for that. And get you gooooooood.

Mantyhose

Tights.

Pantyhose.

Call them what you will. They’re no longer just for women…

ONE of France's leading hosiery makers is launching a new line for men next month - pantyhose with a welcome front opening and big feet, available in thick mannish knit but also as sheer tights. Gerbe, which is based in eastern France, said this week that the country's first hosiery line for men would go on sale in March "due to increasing demand from male clients." The pantyhose comes with a larger belt than for women as well as an opening, with "Men opaque", "sheer" or "satin" available in four models of tights, with and without feet, and three models of feel-good knee-high hosiery made to help drain toxins and massage tired limbs.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (Dance number)




Sing along...

We're men, we're men in tights.
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're men, we're men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!
We're men, we're men in tights,
Always on guard defending the people's rights.

(can can)

We're men, MANLY men, we're men in tights. YES!
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're men, we're men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that's right!
We may look like pansies, but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights.
We're men, we're men in tights (TIGHT tights),
Always on guard defending the people's rights.
When you're in a fix just call for the men in tights!
We're butch!

Filthy Friday

One of you (male) pervs out there anonymously emailed me a pic (of yourself, no doubt) to use for Filthy Friday.

Unfortunately, it’s too filthy (disgusting, actually... nauseating) for me to post on my blog.

Really.

It’s DIRTY DIRTY DIRTY!

But if enough of you beg for it, I’ll consider posting it later today.

But don’t say that I didn’t warn you.

Pee-wee Herman’s Giant Underpants

Look! It’s my giant underpants! Look!

Look! La la la la la la.

Look! A turban!

Rapunzel!

Look! I'm a NUN!"

Ha ha!

La la la la la. La la. La la.

Giant underpants!!!

Blogger Bitches

Last night I received a lovely pome by email from none other than our SID (Stupid Irish Daddy.)

SID: The Poet Laureate of Northern Ireland.

SID: The Bard of Bitch Fights, himself.



MJ & Maidy before reading SID's pome



Blogger Bitches

By SID


Is that a ladder in your tights?
Was often heard on February nights
As Maidy and MJ undressed delights,
For their filthy cat bitch fights

How it started? No-one knows
Canuck and Yank as history goes
Two countries, shite, we all agree
"C'mon! They've started and it’s free!"

The favourite is the pregnant Yank
The other one just likes to wank
The bloggers two, oh filthy pair
"Oh look she's grabbed her by the hair"

A pube is ripped from skin so soft
And held by Maidy's hand aloft
MJ screams ...."you dirty cow"
Stilletto heels are piercing now

Geo snaps, a pic is taken!
A breast slipped out, if I'm not mistaken
Cream and mud is thrown by all
The pervs who often like to call

Teeth and legs and scratches too
You can't get better in the zoo
The felines brace and down once more
As MJ tries for oral score

Their fighting now all through the days
The names, the taunts, the filthy ways
For me a Catholic, it is a sin
So why the fuck can't I join in?

Alas, this fights' for brazen hussies
Tarnished nails and broken gussies
And so we watch these bitches brawl
Dirty cunts yes, you and all!




MJ & Maidy after reading SID’s pome

Bitch Fight! Carly vs Maidy vs MJ

Has it really been five days since the last bitch fight?

"PERGnant" American Psycho-Bitch-From-Hell Maidy continues to get on my tits therefore the catfight continues.

And look who’s joining in!

It’s none other than Carly of Dorset, England and her spectacular double D’s.




Carly’s fun pillows


(Carly, for those of you who don’t already know, is the long-suffering wife of that filthy mong Steve.)

Let’s hear it for foreign relations, folks.

An American, A Canuck and a Brit fighting it out for top bitch.

We fight dirty! . . .






But wait!

It looks like more than the gloves are coming off! . . .







So which cuntry are you supporting?

Filthy Scots

Scottish people have been hailed as the dirtiest in the UK, according to a new study.

Thus taking the pressure off the Filthy Irish, for now.

TOP 10 DIRTIEST CITIES

Aberdeen

Edinburgh

Glasgow

Southampton

Bristol

Cardiff

Leeds

Leicester

Cambridge

Manchester

TOP 10 CITIES WITH THE DIRTIEST HAIR

Coventry

Cardiff

Belfast

Nottingham

Plymouth

Glasgow

Liverpool

Leicester

Birmingham

London



Unidentified Filthy Scot

The Fat Slags

Sex, swearing and chips


Today on Infomaniac, we resurrect the Fat Slags.

Caution: Contents may contain claymation vomiting.

Infomaniac: wasting 7 minutes and 19 seconds of your life and loving it.

Blogging Roundup

Blogging Roundup is postponed ‘til next week at this time.

Pig Spleen Weather Predicting

Yesterday Infomaniac reported on a popular annual celebration of Canadian weather forecasting: Groundhog Day.



Wiarton Willie


Canada’s Wiarton Willie emerges from his burrow on February 2nd, and, if he doesn’t see his shadow, an early spring is predicted. If the groundhog sees his shadow, winter will last another six weeks.

But our nation’s prognostications are not limited to rodents.

Sure we could use thermometers, barometers, psychrometers, anemometers and various other ometers.

But we Canucks like to do things in the most unorthodox fashion possible.






Meet Gus Wickstrom of Tompkins, Saskatchewan.

Gus predicts the weather using pig spleens.

A pig spleen costs him two or three dollars. Not the thousands of dollars Environment Canada spends on all those ometers.

Word has it that his forecasts are 98.5 per cent correct. That’s more accurate than Environment Canada!





How does he do it?

Allow me to exspleen.

Gus holds a freshly butchered spleen up in air, turns it upside down, and looks at it from all sides.

Then he bites into it.

If the spleen is soft, it means warm weather. If the spleen is firm, that means cold weather. A bumpy spleen means a storm is coming. Gus also factors the thickness of the spleen into his forecast.

Gus, of Scandinavian ancestry, learned the art of pig spleen predicting from his father. It’s been passed down in his family from generation to generation over 200 years.

Doppler be damned!

Bite that, Environment Canada.

And here’s how the Irish (bless them) forecast the weather…



Photo by SID (Stupid Irish Daddy)

Groundhog Day with Canada’s Wiarton Willie

Wiarton Willie


It’s Groundhog Day in Canada and a nation holds its breath as we wait for our albino ambassador, Wiarton Willie, to predict the weather.

If Willie sees his shadow, we’ll have six more weeks of winter. No sign of a shadow means an early spring.

Canadians appear to have recovered from 1999's Williegate scandal, as reported previously on Infomaniac.

Of course the Americans have to muscle in on our big Day with their own weather-predicting groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil. An ugly bugger as you can see…





I’m surprised he isn’t waving a wee “Stars and Stripes.”


I leave Infomaniac’s Canuck readers (you foreigners can skip this bit) with a Hinterland Who’s Who video classic … the Woodchuck (Groundhog).

Canadians will either run screaming from the room at the first notes of the flute music or they’ll get teary-eyed and sentimental. Either way, Hinterland Who’s Who is an icon of Canadian culture.



And if you’re in Wiarton, Ontario today, be sure to head on down to the Wiarton Willie Festival.

Come early for the pancake breakfast and stay for the prediction.

UPDATE: Wiarton Willie predicts early spring!

Bitch Fight! La Troisième Partie

Time out!

There’s no point posting today as Maidy’s husband Geo has done all the work for me in his “Bitch fight takes a break” post.

Thanks, Geo. You’re a real sport.