Rule #1 (of many): Do not, I repeat, do NOT leave your snotty Kleenex tissues on The Mistress's dining room table. Ditto for your backpack and/or handbag.
Rule #2: Do not file your nails on The Mistress's furniture, especially if the nail shavings are falling directly onto my sofa. Can you not do that in the bathroom?
How about you? Do you Bitches have house rules?
I've always drawn the line at your dog pissing on my bed.
ReplyDeleteNORMA: Try rubber sheets next time.
DeleteNo bare feet.
ReplyDeleteNo music that isn't on the approved music list.
And nobody under 4ft 8" is allowed upstairs without supervision.
Sx
MISS SCARLET: Bare feet cause The Mistress to go apoplectic.
DeleteNo child has ever set foot in this house.
We should like to know more about your approved music list in the unlikely event we’re ever invited for tea.
Does that include adult Little People?
DeleteMR. RIMPINGTON: Adult Little People are welcome unless they have children.
DeleteIf someone really must come and visit, let me know in plenty of time so that I can arrange to be out!
ReplyDeleteMR. DeVICE: Ding ding ding...Best answer!
DeleteWe never have anyone stay who does not already know us well enough to know what the "house rules" are without asking... Basically, don't piss off the host! Jx
ReplyDeleteJON: That is where I made my mistake. Although I’ve known this person for several years, he is basically a “friend of a friend.”
DeleteThe worst. Jx
Deletewho the hell are you hanging around? maddie would be appalled.
ReplyDeleteMS. MOORECOCK: This particular guest has lost his house guest privileges. He is too cheap to spring for a hotel so I don’t know (nor care) where he goes from now on.
DeleteMy mother was once extremely startled when a guest asked to borrow nail scissors so that he could cut his nails. In the drawing room. He had designs on her, we suspected, and thought this would give a feeling of intimacy. He was wrong.
ReplyDeleteZ: Good to see you again.
DeleteYour mother and I are on the same page, and we would both close the book shut on that boor.
I don't think my friend wants leftovers now...
ReplyDeleteDon't thank your version of a god for the meal I prepared.
DINAHMOW: Tell "your friend" I understand.
DeleteSorry to hear about your negative house guest experience.
ReplyDeleteI do not understand why people do clip their fingernails in public (on trains or in buses), inset objects into their ears or their fingers up their noses. I was taught that in civilised society one keeps the hands off bodily orifices - easy enough I'd guess.
MAGO: I don't understand either but it seems everyone is doing it except us.
DeleteNo wiping of cock on curtains.
ReplyDeleteNe pas essuyer le pénis
Deletesur les rideaux!
Veeg de penis niet
op de gordijnen!
मेरेपर्देपरअपनेलिंगपोंछनहींहै
MITZI: It's forbidden in any language!
Delete[unrelated, sorry]
ReplyDeleteThis could perhaps interest you.