Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Smoke Signals

Will Mr. Peenee be the next pope?



As we keep Vatican vigil here at Infomaniac, we regret to inform you that black smoke billowed from the Sistine Chapel today, signaling an inconclusive first vote in the conclave to elect a new pope.

Meanwhile, a cool and collected Mr. Peenee sits sequestered in his San Francisco rust garden, awaiting the decision...



We're counting on you, Bitches, to elect Peenee as Pope.

Listen up to what Mr. Peenee himself has to say,....

"Here's the deal, just call the cardinal in your district or region or patch or whatever they call it and tell him if doesn't vote for me, you're going to have to convert to Mormonism. Or some other voodoo, doesn't really matter. Don't worry if you're not Catholic, they don't know. It's not like they're Costco and going to ask for you member card."

Will Mr. Peenee be the next pontiff?

Infomaniac will be there to keep you informed and abreast of the situation.

In the meantime, we all await that special little POOF of smoke.

18 comments:

  1. If our Mr Peenee is elected Pope, will he have the power to fix parking tickets for us?

    ReplyDelete
  2. "I'm smoking, Louise"... Jx

    ReplyDelete
  3. oops, i can't vote;
    i forgot to register.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You already registered when you lost that bit of flesh....

      A thousand years ago.

      Delete
  4. Talullah Bankhead was invited to a mass at St. Peter's by he Italian Prime Minister. She is seated by a Swiss Guard on the man aisles. As the service begins, the chanting begins and the processional begins and the audience is spellbound at the splendor of the Pope. As the heir to the throne of Peter passes by waving his incense, the First Lady of the Stage is aghast with the overwhelming dramatics. For the first time in a long time, she is spellbound by the idea that something is larger than she is. The Pope passes by, and Tallu comes to her senses. For someplace deep down inside, she lets out a shriek, lunges forward and grabs the Papal vestments. Everything comes to a grinding halt and the Pope looks at her, and Tallu blurts out "Dahling your dress is divine, but your purse - that purse of yours is on fahr!"

    ReplyDelete
  5. I thought I saw a POOF of smoke. But it was just down over the Appalachia, must be darling Wallingford. Meanwhile half the south is high.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Voting's not enough. We gotta work for Peenee!
    Peenee needs our help.

    That's why I'm out there promising each and every Cardinal a Houseboy in his Pot.

    Or with it.
    Whichever gets the vote.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Bless you my children.

    Although I do wish these cardinal queens would pick up the pace. I want to line up the 2014 Hookies, the Rentboy.com International Escort Awards for the Vatican (wouldn't that be hysterical?) and I sort of need this whole "election" thing out of the way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mistress MJ is losing patience.

      Can't they SEE you're the obvious choice?

      Delete
  8. I can't imagine what it would be like with all those old Queens locked in the same room trying to decide who should be prom Queen... Oh wait... It's just like another day at the Infomaniac home for old fags...

    Peenee's a shoe in... No one wears Prada's like she does...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sorry I'm late- I spent a long day lobbying for peenee, in the confessional, on my knees....

    Gotta Go!
    Gotta iron my crinolines for tomorrow's mass!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I always thought that priests were the best fucks. I used to go to this little subterranean leather bar in the Meat Packing District in NY and whilst the place was usually full of bikers and leather dudes, there were often a few priests in. Not that they wore their cassocks, mind, no they went in ordinary clothes. It only came out later, after we'd banged away for a few hours, that they were men of the church. Or men of the cloth. How wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DAISY CHAINSAW: Welcome to Infomaniac!

      Delete
  11. Highlight of the day: Seagull on chimney cam.

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    Replies
    1. I was hoping they would stick Anderson Cooper up there.

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  12. BREAKING NEWS: Photo of Vatican seagull here.

    Apparently has Twitter account.

    In my opinion, the Sistine Chapel seagull will be the next Ikea monkey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mr. Peenee, you have been upstaged.

      Delete