MITZI: “Those serve yourself checkouts in supermarkets are a boon. When buying expensive exotic fruit such as dragonfruit and kumquats put them through as onions instead, onions are a lot cheaper, and if you get caught you can always tell em you forgot to bring your glasses out with you”…
AYEM8Y: “New jewelry is found in your butt from tricks fisting you”…
MS. NATIONS: “Line dry”…
AYEM8Y: “Hang out at truck stops for free sex and pocket change”.,,
AJF: “You can use exactly 1/2 the liquid detergent recommended on the bottle and your clothes will be just as clean”…
MS. NATIONS: “Grow your own. Anything. Seriously. You're doing the Earth a favor and your pocketbook too. I cannot stress this one enough, people. Seeds are cheap, and any doofus-even Canadians!- can learn to take viable cuttings and grow them on. 'Producing your own' is the purest form of REVOLUTION, and a great way to 'Fuck the Man.' And it's bareback!!!”...
TB: “If you're a meat eater (tee-hee) buy the family packs and freeze individual servings”…
MS. NATIONS: “Men will do ANYTHING for a blowjob. Promises of same go a long way. Bills due? Laser treatments starting to add up? Liposuction emergency (MJ?) just pucker your lips and”......
AYEM8Y: “Go to the local hotels between 6 a.m. and 11 a.m. Enter through the side door and have breakfast for free”…
MS. NATIONS: “The Biker and I have been operating in the black, household-wise, for the entire 345 years we've been together doing this: Run a booth at swap meets. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, will pay off like doing this. It doesn't even matter what kind of swap meet. Antiques, cars, motorcycles, VW's, plants, household shit, clothes,...seriously…
You pay your $15.00, get in early, set up your sad tiny table full of crap, and there you are before opening, when the real bargains are to be had and the freaky wheelingdealing happens PLUS and you can claim a dealers discount...you make the most incredible connections for the goddamndest things and meet the most amazing folks you've never imagineD...and you can party your ass off the whole time. Just buy a tall coffee early on and keep refilling it from that flask you keep in your garter, Mago.”
ROSES: “Save water - shower with a friend. Then collect the water to put on your garden. Particularly useful if you're on a water meter”.
AYEM8Y: “Late at night take a blow torch and steal a parking meter then make a master key and from then on you have an endless supply of change”…
MS. NATIONS: “Make your own spray cleaner: 1/4 cup Dawn, 1tlb rubbing alcohol, the rest water to fill a standard size spray bottle. Cheap, cleans everything, and won't leave streaks on glass!”..
CANADIAN GIRL: “Use whiteout to cover marks on white appliances and white baseboards (skirting to you UKers)”…
PRINCESS: “Make your own toothpaste!
In a small glass jar that has a screw top lid, mix equal parts of
Bicarbonate of soda and Table salt
Add 1-2 drops of pure peppermint oil. (Must be the real thing)
Stir in an amount of liquid glycerine until it forms a paste in consistency.
The ingredients are cheap and will last you a very long time. There are also the benefits of not shoving in your mouth, all those ugly chemicals that you find in commercial toothpastes and have no idea what they are or what they do to your body!”
Excellent lessons in frugality, one and all!
Now that you Bitches have learned some money-saving techniques, you’ll be able to save up and buy Mistress MJ the Peggy Guggenheim sunglasses!
Yay first!
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing so hard I've had to put my teeth back in!
Oh... And my tits!...
ReplyDeleteBest thing to do is to get a second job: waiting tables, meth lab technician, greeter at Walmart, hooker.
ReplyDeleteWhere is everyone today?
ReplyDeleteHas the sight of of Princess without her teeth caused a shock wave?
Or are you all queuing up on the street corner for Jason?
why, this consumer division of infomaniac is precisely what our world and its economic woes needs!
ReplyDeletecan i sign up for my weekly mailer?
NORMADESMOND: why, this consumer division of infomaniac is precisely what our world and its economic woes needs!
ReplyDeletecan i sign up for my weekly mailer?
Why certainly, Miss Desmond!
Will you be clipping our cooponz or kewponz?
I attended a conference, kind of. It was only for the free lunch ... seriously, hanging around any standing receptions, using conference breaks to smuggle yerself in - it's possible to survive! The trick is to blend in, do the Zelig.
ReplyDeleteUmm...what did that guy lose up his arse?
ReplyDeleteI'm going to try Princess's toothpaste formular as the one I'm using now, Arm and hammer with bicarb, has a nasty aftertaste of rotting fish.
ReplyDeleteMAGO: I attended a conference, kind of. It was only for the free lunch ... seriously, hanging around any standing receptions, using conference breaks to smuggle yerself in - it's possible to survive! The trick is to blend in, do the Zelig.
ReplyDeleteI’ve done this many times with art exhibition openings.
Load up on canapés and wine!
PRINCESS: Umm...what did that guy lose up his arse?
AyeM8y’s wristwatch.
MITZI: I'm going to try Princess's toothpaste formular as the one I'm using now, Arm and hammer with bicarb, has a nasty aftertaste of rotting fish.
I just bought the same brand simply because of the sale price and I agree.
Serves me right for being so cheap.
But what are we supposed to do with the full tubes of Arm & Hammer that we don’t want?
Re-grout the bathroom tiles with it.
ReplyDeleteMITZI: Re-grout the bathroom tiles with it
ReplyDeleteToo late…a guest mistook it for hemorrhoid cream.
GREAT money saving tips all, but particularly from Ayem8y! Well done! *off to find blow torch*
ReplyDeleteFantastic tips - well, most of them anyway. I don't really need more jewellery that much
ReplyDeleteLA DIVA CUCINA: GREAT money saving tips all, but particularly from Ayem8y! Well done! *off to find blow torch*
ReplyDeleteDisclaimer: Infomaniac is not responsible for arrests resulting from following AyeM8y’s tips.
NURSEMYRA: Fantastic tips - well, most of them anyway. I don't really need more jewellery that much
Nonetheless, I recommend having a friend give you a cavity search from time to time.
You can always pawn what you find.