Thursday, July 08, 2010

Say No To Flip Flops

Mistress MJ has been temporarily driven out of her summer hiatus by news that some of you are wearing flip flops.



Are you not aware how slovenly they look?

Why not just wear a sign proclaiming to the world that you have given up?

Besides, Mistress MJ cannot stand the “flip flop” noise they make as you shuffle along.

Is it not enough that I have to contend with the din of lawnmowers and weed whackers all summer long?

Must I listen to your flippity-floppity flip flop feet as well?

45 comments:

  1. Oh i am glad you showed a picture...
    I know them as "Thongs" which in other climes.. I'm lead to believe... has 'totally' other connotations...

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  2. I plan on wearing nothing else, just as soon as I find a pair of Business Casual ones.

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  3. You should hear the symphony of weave scratching, teeth sucking and flip flop shuffling in the ghetto Dollar stores around the south.

    I sometimes yell out, “Pick up your feet”.

    It’s also very hot here so the flip flop is the preferred form of foot wear. I can only imagine your horror upon sitting down at a restaurant and looking at the grimy toenails of the guy next to you.

    How do you feel about a nice sandal like say a Birkenstock?

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  4. ayem8y raises a valid question...what is acceptable summer footwear that is both fashionable and frees the toes from stifling heat?

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  5. AMEN sistah!

    I hate all footwear that shows mens feet (except if it has a nice stiletto heel obviously), and all flat footwear for women. It's so sloppy.

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  6. Where I come from, they're called slippers! Because you slip them on your feet.

    Thongs are skimpy underpants worn as uniforms by sumo wrestlers, everyday wear by Amazon jungle natives, beachwear by Brazilian women, and work attire by strippers and whores (who've had Brazilian waxes).

    Flip flops refer to people who keep changing positions, like porn stars in a movie or politicians.

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  7. ...it is an unseemly 95 degrees here and we have been wearing doc martens all day...flip flops are for posers...HAIL MJ’s infinite wisdom!
    S+S

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  8. I much prefer to wear the Aussie equivelant...thongs.

    Plus, ya can throw 'em ;o)

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  9. *fip-flop-flippity-flap*

    ...I have them in suede as well... I mean come on... I am a classy flip-flop wearer...
    Sx

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  10. It's the rubber that makes the din as it slaps the soles, slap, slap, slap: rubber is such an indiscreet material.

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  11. Nobody usually complains about my flipping flaps.
    Sx

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  12. You're a hard woman MJ. I bet you wear mules doncha?

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  13. And guess what? There are Crocs flip flops. They are trying to drive you mad!

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  14. Flop, flop, flap, flip, flup....

    "They called him Flipper..."

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  15. PRINCESS: Oh i am glad you showed a picture...
    I know them as "Thongs" which in other climes.. I'm lead to believe... has 'totally' other connotations...


    Thank you for restraining yourself from singing that thong th thong thong thong song.

    MR. PEENEE: I plan on wearing nothing else, just as soon as I find a pair of Business Casual ones.

    Wouldn’t a size 13 flip flop be classified as a weapon?

    AYEM8Y: You should hear the symphony of weave scratching, teeth sucking and flip flop shuffling in the ghetto Dollar stores around the south.
    I sometimes yell out, “Pick up your feet”.
    It’s also very hot here so the flip flop is the preferred form of foot wear. I can only imagine your horror upon sitting down at a restaurant and looking at the grimy toenails of the guy next to you.
    How do you feel about a nice sandal like say a Birkenstock?


    Now look what you’ve made me do.

    I’ve posted the People of Wal-Mart link.

    Birkenstocks?

    No granola shoes!

    KEVIN: ayem8y raises a valid question...what is acceptable summer footwear that is both fashionable and frees the toes from stifling heat?

    For this question I have called upon the expert TJB from Stirred, Straight Up, With a Twist to advise you.

    If he can take time out from his busy schedule dishing out style advice to the denizens of New York City, he may pop ‘round to enlighten us.

    XL: TA DA!

    Flip flop flair.

    CYBERPOOF: AMEN sistah!
    I hate all footwear that shows mens feet (except if it has a nice stiletto heel obviously), and all flat footwear for women. It's so sloppy.


    I rather like this look, don’t you?

    EROS: Where I come from, they're called slippers! Because you slip them on your feet.
    Thongs are skimpy underpants worn as uniforms by sumo wrestlers, everyday wear by Amazon jungle natives, beachwear by Brazilian women, and work attire by strippers and whores (who've had Brazilian waxes).
    Flip flops refer to people who keep changing positions, like porn stars in a movie or politicians.


    Up here, slippers are a form of comfortable, indoor shoes worn by old men in retirement homes.

    And Beast.

    SERAPH & SPLENDOR: ...it is an unseemly 95 degrees here and we have been wearing doc martens all day...flip flops are for posers...HAIL MJ’s infinite wisdom!

    Thank goodness you’re here.

    I can’t turn my back on this blog without someone slipping on a pair of flip flops, Crocs or Uggs.

    UTE: I much prefer to wear the Aussie equivelant...thongs.
    Plus, ya can throw 'em ;o)


    Is that a form of Australian warfare?

    At least you don’t spend as much for arms as the Americans.

    SCARLET: *fip-flop-flippity-flap*
    ...I have them in suede as well... I mean come on... I am a classy flip-flop wearer...


    As I said to you yesterday, Miss Scarlet…

    You can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig.

    ERYL: It's the rubber that makes the din as it slaps the soles, slap, slap, slap: rubber is such an indiscreet material.

    Mentioning rubber will bring our friend Beast out in a rash.

    Don’t mention his rubber glove phobia

    SCARLET: Nobody usually complains about my flipping flaps.

    But they DO complain about your unruly bush.

    LULU: You're a hard woman MJ. I bet you wear mules doncha?

    Marabou mules, Miss Lulu.

    LEAH: And guess what? There are Crocs flip flops. They are trying to drive you mad!

    *reaches for Xanax bottle*

    KAPI: Flop, flop, flap, flip, flup....
    "They called him Flipper..."


    Stop the flop.

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  16. I had an early dinner recently at a semi-casual trendy sushi restaurant. An upper middle-aged fellow and his entourage stepped out of their long black chauffeured Mercedes about the same time we arrived. The ladies were wearing shades of Helen Roper floor length knit dresses. And Mr. Big with his slicked hair was in flip flops which he took off under the table through dinner.

    The beach is one thing BUT TO DINNER? Some people really should know better.

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  17. A gentleman should always make his feet as attractive as possible when exposing them to the public.

    Granola shoes indeed!

    Who do you think I am Peppermint Patty?

    I’ll have you know that I have my summer footwear made by the sandal maker to the Popes and the former Shah of Iran.

    What if I said that I have very attractive toes? Now what would you say? Don’t act yet... I’ll also throw in that I have a pedicure with a shine so brilliant that you can see yourself in the mirror like reflection. I tell you people go out of their way to compliment my toes, I’m the envy of every toenail biter in the world, I make the nail tech ladies weep.

    I also won the title of, “Most Talented Big Toe”, which I won for snapping out the tune, ‘Popsicle Toes’ for a crowd of hundreds with rousing applause and two curtain calls.

    So there!

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  18. Mistress, I'm smelling a foot photo competition.

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  19. HAYWARD: I had an early dinner recently at a semi-casual trendy sushi restaurant. An upper middle-aged fellow and his entourage stepped out of their long black chauffeured Mercedes about the same time we arrived. The ladies were wearing shades of Helen Roper floor length knit dresses. And Mr. Big with his slicked hair was in flip flops which he took off under the table through dinner.
    The beach is one thing BUT TO DINNER? Some people really should know better.


    If one MUST wear flip-flops, wear them at the beach only.

    Not to restaurants, not to formal occasions, and not to the office.

    Some would consider it a cubicle crime.

    AYEM8Y: A gentleman should always make his feet as attractive as possible when exposing them to the public.
    Granola shoes indeed!
    Who do you think I am Peppermint Patty?
    I’ll have you know that I have my summer footwear made by the sandal maker to the Popes and the former Shah of Iran.
    What if I said that I have very attractive toes? Now what would you say? Don’t act yet... I’ll also throw in that I have a pedicure with a shine so brilliant that you can see yourself in the mirror like reflection. I tell you people go out of their way to compliment my toes, I’m the envy of every toenail biter in the world, I make the nail tech ladies weep.
    I also won the title of, “Most Talented Big Toe”, which I won for snapping out the tune, ‘Popsicle Toes’ for a crowd of hundreds with rousing applause and two curtain calls.
    So there!


    It pleases Mistress MJ to know that you’ve had your feet buffed and Brilloed.

    Afterall, Mr. Nude Infomaniac is Infomaniac’s representative abroad.

    Please submit photos of your feet.

    See comment from Hayward, below.

    HAYWARD: Mistress, I'm smelling a foot photo competition.

    Excellent suggestion, Hayward!

    Why don’t you start the ball rolling by submitting the first photo?

    I’ll hold the compo in September after my so-called hiatus has ended.

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  20. My feelings on summer footwear are admittedly narrow-minded, as TJB's summer wardrobe primarily consists of silk trousers and lightweight sport coats - even in July and August, I always wear a jacket. Therefore, my accompanying footwear is markedly dressier than any alternative to the dreaded flip flop (basically, thinner, calfskin versions of the dress shoe, often done in more natural and neutral shades).

    Realizing that the majority of contemporary males will not be pairing their tailored, slightly-above-the-knee shorts with a discreet anklet (NOT the athletic kind) and a slip-on loafer or canvas lace up (think Noel Coward on the Riviera in the 1930's), I can only implore the masses to eschew the rubber flip flop for something "nicer," in leather, and to pumice and pedicure their footsies before inflicting them upon the public.

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  21. TJB: My feelings on summer footwear are admittedly narrow-minded, as TJB's summer wardrobe primarily consists of silk trousers and lightweight sport coats - even in July and August, I always wear a jacket. Therefore, my accompanying footwear is markedly dressier than any alternative to the dreaded flip flop (basically, thinner, calfskin versions of the dress shoe, often done in more natural and neutral shades).

    Realizing that the majority of contemporary males will not be pairing their tailored, slightly-above-the-knee shorts with a discreet anklet (NOT the athletic kind) and a slip-on loafer or canvas lace up (think Noel Coward on the Riviera in the 1930's), I can only implore the masses to eschew the rubber flip flop for something "nicer," in leather, and to pumice and pedicure their footsies before inflicting them upon the public.


    Thank you, TJB.

    Style mavenTJB has spoken, so frankly, there is nothing left to say on the matter.

    Except perhaps to quote TJB in saying, “the problems of the real world can be solved with a touch of glamour and a dash of style.”

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  22. I hate flip flops too.

    You were right. Yesterday's comment on HBAG from you ? GONE.

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  23. The sound of a pair of jaunty flip-flops is pure pleasure compared to the agony of hearing the rasping shuffle of "slides" dragging along the sidewalk! I sometimes stop in my tracks and stare at their feet as they shuffle by, though they almost never notice, as the inevitable Big Gulp they're sucking on usually blocks their view.

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  24. i have to listen to my little doggie's flippity-flappity lips all the time, so suck it up!

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  25. TAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I is back and connected to the interwebs . I hate flip flops , horrible uncomfotable things

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  26. I think I'm in love with TJB.
    (think Noel Coward on the Riviera in the 1930's
    Sigh.
    If only everyone would. Then I would definitely give up my flip-flops.
    Sx

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  27. Lulu is having a foam party!!
    Sx

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  28. I only wear thongs.

    Hey Mistress MJ! I've been lurking and not commenting because...because...well, I've got no damn good reason.

    Anywhoo, hope you're enjoying the summer!

    XOXOXO

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  29. HEFF: I hate flip flops too.
    You were right. Yesterday's comment on HBAG from you ? GONE.


    The Google guys are still working on the problem, Heff.

    Eroswings actually saw all my comments reappear last night … but it lasted only a few minutes before they disappeared again.

    Let’s cross our fingers that they’ll come up with a solution.

    RILEY: The sound of a pair of jaunty flip-flops is pure pleasure compared to the agony of hearing the rasping shuffle of "slides" dragging along the sidewalk! I sometimes stop in my tracks and stare at their feet as they shuffle by, though they almost never notice, as the inevitable Big Gulp they're sucking on usually blocks their view.

    Just wait until Sunday.

    “Almost half a million free Slurpee drinks will be up for grabs this Sunday, July 11, to mark 7-Eleven Canada’s 41st birthday. Every 7-Eleven store in the country will give away 7.11-ounce Slurpee drinks to its first 1,000 customers that day.”

    NORMADESMOND: i have to listen to my little doggie's flippity-flappity lips all the time, so suck it up!

    Just because you were voted “Miss Cocks in Frocks” does NOT give you the right to tell Mistress MJ to “suck it up!”

    The cheek of some beauty pageant contestants.

    BEAST: TAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I is back and connected to the interwebs . I hate flip flops , horrible uncomfotable things

    Were your ears burning?

    SCARLET: I think I'm in love with TJB.
    (think Noel Coward on the Riviera in the 1930's
    Sigh.
    If only everyone would. Then I would definitely give up my flip-flops.


    We ALL love TJB but for his sake I hope you mean that in the platonic sense of the word.

    *coughs*

    SCARLET: Lulu is having a foam party!!

    What fun!

    RANDOM CHICK: I only wear thongs.
    Hey Mistress MJ! I've been lurking and not commenting because...because...well, I've got no damn good reason.
    Anywhoo, hope you're enjoying the summer!


    Good to hear from you!

    Mistress MJ is supposed to be on hiatus for the summer but these bitches forced me back into blogging…at least for a few days.

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  30. i wear flip-flops, all my friends wear flip-flops, it's africa hot or as miss lulu said, it's bake-a-cake-in-the-oven hot here until october, sugar! mine are all gorgeous havaianas, so i have to totally disagree with all y'all about flip flops as leisure wear! but, bless your heart, i do have lovely evening sandals for dressy occasions! xoxoxo

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  31. Your comments appared and then went again? Mine too? Well, at least that's something!

    I've missed all this because I've been out all the afternoon (not doing what you're thinking, but at my Friday German course).

    This is good news (the comments, not the German course), but I hope next time they appear to stay forever.

    What a shame I missed this! My beloved comments! :((

    *leaves sobbing and flippity-floppiting*

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  32. SAVANNAH: i wear flip-flops, all my friends wear flip-flops, it's africa hot or as miss lulu said, it's bake-a-cake-in-the-oven hot here until october, sugar! mine are all gorgeous havaianas, so i have to totally disagree with all y'all about flip flops as leisure wear! but, bless your heart, i do have lovely evening sandals for dressy occasions!

    Should I find myself strolling down the sidewalks of Savannah and hear a flip-flop sound, I’ll know you’re following me.

    LENI: Your comments appared and then went again? Mine too? Well, at least that's something!
    I've missed all this because I've been out all the afternoon (not doing what you're thinking, but at my Friday German course).
    This is good news (the comments, not the German course), but I hope next time they appear to stay forever.
    What a shame I missed this! My beloved comments! :((
    *leaves sobbing and flippity-floppiting*


    It appears that our comments are flip-flopping.

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  33. sorry hunny but I am a flip flop, slippahs kind of guy due to being from Hawaii....I promise not the wear them to any functions that it would be inappropiate for......love you! xoxoxo

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  34. RAD: sorry hunny but I am a flip flop, slippahs kind of guy due to being from Hawaii....I promise not the wear them to any functions that it would be inappropiate for......love you!

    Next you’ll be telling me that you don’t leave home without your ukulele…due to being from Hawaii!

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  35. I'm torn on this topic: I do own flip-flops but they're not the $5 buck drugstore type; think POLO. Also I know when & where to sport them. (need I remind MJ who wore Ferragamo spectator loafers to the Gay Pride parade?)

    Where many men fail in the sporting of flips is the complete disregard of summer foot maintenance; get a goddamn pedicure, dudes.

    Also, nothing (to my way of thinking) is hotter than a white T/jeans and flips. That just reads like sex on a stick in my book...

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  36. MICHAEL GUY: I'm torn on this topic: I do own flip-flops but they're not the $5 buck drugstore type; think POLO. Also I know when & where to sport them. (need I remind MJ who wore Ferragamo spectator loafers to the Gay Pride parade?)
    Where many men fail in the sporting of flips is the complete disregard of summer foot maintenance; get a goddamn pedicure, dudes.
    Also, nothing (to my way of thinking) is hotter than a white T/jeans and flips. That just reads like sex on a stick in my book...


    A flip flop with a designer label is still a flip flop.

    Although you seem to be taking them into a whole other realm.

    *makes note in margin to research flip flop fetish*

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  37. ...he's right about the white T/jeans and flips thing...
    God, why are all these men gay?!!!
    Not fair.
    Sx

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  38. Not all, Miss Scarlet...

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  39. SCARLET AND XL: Is XL admitting that HE wears flip flops too?

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  40. When I lived on Maui, we called them slippas...

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  41. They may be a poor quality shoe substitute worn by people in the third world and in some parts of Northern England who can't afford heels, but I adore them. They came in very handy once as dual wield weapons, when I quickly became surrounded by a flange of baboons in Gibraltar.

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