Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Entertaining Tips #1

Offer your guests a beverage…


Sailor Donn at your service. What’s yer poison, matey?


  1. And perhaps a napkin in case the guest spills on themselves and needs a hand or two with the clean up.

  2. Hah! I was first. Yay!

    This was much more pleasant. Besides being offered a drink is pure joy.

    I'll take a piña colada por favor

  3. Oh Hai Cyberpete and Eroswings.

    I'll just take a bottle of vodka and a bag of ice, please.

  4. Hej, CP and Boxer.

    Since MJ is being a gracious hostess, I'll take a screwdriver, please!

  5. she didn't say anything about food.

    I'm hungry.

  6. Careful swabbie, the glasses don't have those "Sanitized For Your Protection" paper covers!

    Oh Hai Boxer & Pete!

  7. You do all know that 'Hai' is Cantonese for vagina don't you? Are you all calling each other twats or something?

  8. Never overstay your welcome, a good house guest knows when to leave, usually after sloppy seconds, if the host a young and virile.

  9. What kind of person keeps their hat on in bed - and nothing else?

    Possibly the kind of person with no reflection in the mirror.

    It's the the Invasion of the Gay Vampire Sailor Sluts!

  10. Hai xl and Pete - don't you think the fact that he actually provides a glass shows this is a classy guy.
    You have to ask for one in the pub.

  11. I think I'd offer them some beaverage.

  12. The hat worn in the house is just plain bad manners. I think he needs to be whipped into shape. Really, the yooff of today have no manners.

    I'd like a glass of red wine please.

    Cyberpete shall I crack open this Merlot? Ms Boxer? Care to join us?

  13. These gentlemen have a very relaxed dress code.....they must be from the colonies

  14. Roses - so very kind, but I've found that mixing the wine and vodka makes for a nasty headache. Oh what the hell, pass it over!

  15. @ Boxer: With you on wine/vodka being a bad idea. The only hangover I ever had was from that combo.

    Oh Hai Kaz!

  16. I've never been THAT drunk...

  17. BITCHES: Who said anything about Mistress MJ being a gracious hostess?

    Suddenly it’s open bar in here?

    This post was intended as a PSA for YOU lot to become more attentive hosts and hostesses.

    Oh what the hell, help yourself to the liquor cabinet. I’m off to watch “Gay Vampire Sailor Sluts” starring Kapitano.

    And speaking of gay vampire sailor sluts, where is IVD? He’s had every sailor from Norfolk, England to Norfolk, Virginia!

  18. Sorry Mistress.

    *pours MJ a glass of red*

    Damn, I think I'd better open another bottle, not enough to go around. Fortunately, I bought a case-full.

  19. And here's another little linguistic conundrum. Walking down the road today a guy leaned out of a car waving his arms about and shouting "sweefy teh did!"

  20. Kiki McNaughty pored the last shot of Screech into Sailot Moon's glass.
    "Lard Tunderin Jayzuz," Sailor slurred,
    "I'z juss 'bout raddy f'er ya Bye..
    but firss ssang me dat song agin'..
    da one 'bout da Musskratz in luv.

  21. BITCHES: This post has been updated.

    Sailor Donn will be taking over to serve your beverages in Mistress MJ’s absence.

  22. I'll have a traditional Newfie drink! Uh, what would that be?

  23. I'll have a 'Pink Whiskers' oh wait strike that I'll have an 'Entendre' and make it a double.

  24. AYEM8Y: It's only trucker cocktails for you these days, isn't it?

    Now where the hell is Sailor Donn?

    I've got work to do and can't be tending bar all day!

  25. Would one of you bitches take over bartending duties 'til Sailor Donn shows up?

  26. Humpf? Drinks?

    I'd like a long stiff pink one. Just till the Donn arrives and we can have drinks.

  27. Heh heh. My avatar's looking up your shorts MJ!

  28. Awright stap y'er pooshin' byes!
    Ahl wee gat is Screech!
    How many do ya want?

  29. Oof! Sorry I'm late. I've been looking for those Gay Vampire Sailor Sluts that Kapi mentioned.

    Don't worry about getting me a drink - I've had my fill.

  30. Oh hai KAZ and Roses!

    Let's have Italian wine today because I have a nice bottle of Amarone. Mmmmm.

    Maybe Mistress MJ is serving finger food?

  31. LOL, there's a couple of seamen at the top of your blog.


  32. F'er crissakes Petey thars no blawdy Italyin "wine" here!

    Lard Tunderin' Jayzuz,
    jess bend over tha bar an kiss the gawdam Cadfush on tha lips and chug da Screech!

    Here's ta swimmin' wit bowlagged wymyn...
    an myn I s'poze.

    Down tha hatch Byes n' Gurls!

  33. I wish I had an ass like that sailor. Donn, gimme a vodka straight fact, make mine a double.

  34. Pete, now you know I would never resist a cheeky Italian.

  35. What about a blonde Franconian, Roses?

  36. I wouldn't turn you down honey. Not with those hands.

  37. MJ, I'm gettin' blowed up like a blood poison cat and more lip than a coal bucket 'ere?

    Are dey deef as a cad?
    We got Screech is all!

    Ta hell wid it! Boil up da moose b'yes an we'll have a scoff & scuff. Sing out to'em for da feed or I'll get out me split an crack ya on da arse, ya little friggers!

  38. gin with a dance little waiter man dance.....heh

  39. DONN: 'Ow she cuttin dere by'e?

    You had your work cut out for you here and ya done good, by’e.

    Long may your big Jib draw.

    BITCHES: Get down on your scabby knees and thank Sailor Donn for his hospitality.

    Mistress MJ feels like she’s been hauled through a knot hole and needs a lie down.

  40. As your token Newfoundlander on here (there aren't any more, are there?) - learn to spell Newfoundlander ya dumb cunt!

    As for traditional Newfoundland drinks - it is fuckin' well not Screech - it's a double dark rum and either coke (fer ON's geys) or water (for real men). Weemens drink white rum. And geys.

    And you smoke while drinking. Lots. Of both. Smoking and drinking.

  41. NWTRUNNER: Speaking of drinking...Lots... how much had you packed away when you left this comment?