Sunday, September 06, 2009

Public Service Announcement #1

Have your Secret Lady Place examined regularly …


[photo via]

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

36 comments:

  1. I haven't got a Secret Lady Place :-(.

    I've got a Very Public Gentleman Part, if that helps.

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  2. I hope that nice gentleman has washed his hands.....

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  3. It's nice to see that you bring up even the hairy issues.

    Good for you.

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  4. * gets secret lady place out of jar in pantry *

    * immediately horrified by bedraggled appearance and stuffs it back in the back of the pantry, hopefully never to be seen again *

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  5. Hmmm. I'm sorry Mistress MJ but that sight is so erotic I am having trouble keeping my desk in a horizontal position. I am going to have to take myself away from the page until I calm down somewhat.

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  6. Ah, so now we know Ginro gets excited during the nit check.

    'Fraid the mustard carpet and stripey sofa are putting me off.

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  7. NWTRUNNER: Looks like a good plan!
    Oh - Yay! First!


    Are you getting ready to hibernate there up north?

    Is that why we’re seeing more of you?

    Not that we’re complaining…far from it.

    KAPI: I haven't got a Secret Lady Place :-(.
    I've got a Very Public Gentleman Part, if that helps.


    There you go dangling it about again.

    Any excuse to get it out.

    JASON: and your shag vaccuumed.

    Ha! Or just a good shag!

    XL: She may need a comprehensive solution to her little "problem."

    You’re just nit-picking, now, XL.

    Are you feeling better today?

    DAMIEN: I hope that nice gentleman has washed his hands.....

    He should be using gloves to protect himself!

    CYBERPOOF: It's nice to see that you bring up even the hairy issues.
    Good for you.


    And we were facing them full on with courage until we read IVD’s comment.

    Now we need magical herbs to help us get over the visuals.

    IVD: * gets secret lady place out of jar in pantry *
    * immediately horrified by bedraggled appearance and stuffs it back in the back of the pantry, hopefully never to be seen again *


    Thank goodness you have a spare “front bottom”.

    Stretched beyond recognition, of course.

    But a spare, nonetheless.

    *shocked and appalled by IVD’s description of his Secret Lady Place, Mistress MJ requires a cold compress and her Official Pillow Fluffer, immediately*

    GINRO: Hmmm. I'm sorry Mistress MJ but that sight is so erotic I am having trouble keeping my desk in a horizontal position. I am going to have to take myself away from the page until I calm down somewhat.

    Perhaps it’s time we posted more photos of nekkid old geezers?

    ROSES: Ah, so now we know Ginro gets excited during the nit check.
    'Fraid the mustard carpet and stripey sofa are putting me off.


    Another contender for How Not To Decorate.

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  8. Calm yourself, Ginro, she is merely having her landing strip aesthetically enhanced. Her own lady shave is blunted so friend Molly is using cousin Jake's nasal hair trimmer to great effect to help her out.
    Sx

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  9. The one in the dress is her uncle.
    Sx

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  10. You are right, that was a vile description.

    *fluffs MJs pillows because XL hasn't been by since the incident*

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  11. Reminds me, the window cleaner needs paying next week.

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  12. SCARLET: Calm yourself, Ginro, she is merely having her landing strip aesthetically enhanced. Her own lady shave is blunted so friend Molly is using cousin Jake's nasal hair trimmer to great effect to help her out.

    For heart-shapes, stars and lightning bolts, try Jenna’s Hot Trimmer.

    SCARLET: The one in the dress is her uncle.

    Is it me or does her uncle’s Secret Lady Place look slightly askew?

    CYBERPOOF: You are right, that was a vile description.
    *fluffs MJs pillows because XL hasn't been by since the incident*


    Thank you, dear.

    Perhaps my Official Pillow Fluffer has taken a turn for the worse.

    MITZI: Reminds me, the window cleaner needs paying next week.

    We trust you left a big tip?

    Oh, and welcome back.

    We missed you.

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  13. Mistress, I am better now. I thought I had the swine flu but I now think it was due to too many spicy pork rinds.

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  14. XL: Mistress, I am better now. I thought I had the swine flu but I now think it was due to too many spicy pork rinds.

    Beware of Yorkshire poofs sending pork scratchings.

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  15. *still waiting for the scratch and sniff feature*

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  16. VOICES: *still waiting for the scratch and sniff feature*

    To activate the scratch ‘n’ sniff feature, flick the switch.

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  17. Surely it can't be much of a secret if she's putting on a public show!

    Why is there a camera? Has her secret lady place become a crime scene and they're searching for clues? Perhaps a missing person?

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  18. Has her secret lady place become a crime scene and they're searching for clues? Perhaps a missing person?

    The entire band of the Coldstream Guards?

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  19. EROS: Surely it can't be much of a secret if she's putting on a public show!
    Why is there a camera? Has her secret lady place become a crime scene and they're searching for clues? Perhaps a missing person?


    CSI Love Canal.

    GINRO: Has her secret lady place become a crime scene and they're searching for clues? Perhaps a missing person?
    The entire band of the Coldstream Guards?


    That would be IVD’s “front bottom” that has space for an entire band.

    MANUEL: ooooh crikey

    “And other profanities.”

    BOXER: what Manuel said.

    Only without the Irish accent.

    Nor the hairy arse…one assumes.

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  20. I'm shocked and appalled.

    Shocked and appalled that Anna Wintour would wear those hideous white granny sandals, much less be photographed in them.

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  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  22. TJB: I'm shocked and appalled.
    Shocked and appalled that Anna Wintour would wear those hideous white granny sandals, much less be photographed in them.


    So what are YOU wearing, beeyotch?

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  23. A smug sense of superiority, and Chanel No. 5.

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  24. TJB: And do you follow Coco's advice?...

    "A woman should wear fragrance wherever she expects to be kissed."

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  25. Did they ever find that lens cap?

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  26. WIL: Holy Fuck, that's my Mother!

    Was this before or after she “dated” Heff?

    DONN: Did they ever find that lens cap?

    Have a rummage around the … sofa cushions.

    And find some loose change while you’re at it!

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