Thursday, September 17, 2009

Institute of Oral Love

Many of you are students at the school of hard knockers known as Mistress MJ’s School for Unruly, Insolent Bitches.

But are you aware of the school’s annex? …


[photo via]

Welcome to The Infomaniac Institute of Oral Love!

We tried to keep it a secret until opening day. But that little saucepot TJB over at Stirred, Straight Up, With a Twist posted about it here earlier.

Space is limited and as TJB says …

It’s not too late to enroll. Mistress MJ will be happy to greet you at the Emissions... Admissions Office.

46 comments:

  1. With tuition, tips, and Jello pit wrestling, I'm running out of money!

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  2. Wow! The school's name is quite a mouthful! I'd like a tour of the institute and sample campus life.

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  3. XL: With tuition, tips, and Jello pit wrestling, I'm running out of money!

    There’s a street corner with your name on it.

    Work it!

    EROS: Wow! The school's name is quite a mouthful! I'd like a tour of the institute and sample campus life.

    And by campus life you mean the sororities?

    SAVANNAH: dammit! third...xoxo

    Sigh.

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  4. Guess that makes me fourth!

    Oh Hai XL, Eros and Savannah!

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  5. Oh Hai Eros, Savannah, MJ, Ponita!

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  6. Oh HAI XL, Ponita, ER... AND Savannah.

    Will any of this be on the test?

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  7. BOXER: What Ponita said.

    Note that Ponita can do math too ("fourth!")so you can sit beside her and cheat.

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  8. I may be able to spell numbers but don't expect me to do any higher functions without a calculator!

    If it's English, I'm in like Flint, but not math.

    And of course, I am an expert on anatomy and physiology...

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  9. Well, buenos noches, XL, Savannah, MJ, Ponita, and Boxer!

    I'd luv a tour of the sororities, and perhaps meet a professor and their T and A!

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  10. My uvula is twitching at the thought..........

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  11. I'm afraid I'm the slow student, who requires a lot of extra tutorials.

    *sigh*

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  12. This degree is probably more use than 'Media Studies'
    But then again
    What Isnt

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  13. *Slaps Mr Beastie round the head with a banana slug*
    Sx

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  14. Marble gargling and Mangez la Carpet have been an integral part of both the pairbonding and the "oh-what-the-hell" aspects of the sexual evolution of our species...

    ever since we first left the trees (Monkey see-Monkey chew) and wandered out onto the African Savannah in search of magic mushrooms, sex, and carrion.

    Gummies continued to be practiced and refined throughout History as a viable alternative to going-all-the-way in Monastaries and Junior High Schools.

    In it's present form, Marble Gargling is decidedly more recreational, therefore it is essential that these educational facilities provide more than lip service.

    Institutions such as the IIOL need to instruct people on the fine balance between ergonomics, esthetics, personal hygiene, and time management skills.

    Congratulations on furthering this essential service and ensuring that tomorrow's people can draw upon your vast wealth of knowledge concerning this delightful yet demanding pastime.

    In conclusion I defer to Chinese Philosopher Khan Ing Ling, and the magnificent Greek Orator Phi Latio, who both agreed, It is better to receive than to give.

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  15. Are students insured for lockjaw?

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  16. PONITA: I may be able to spell numbers but don't expect me to do any higher functions without a calculator!
    If it's English, I'm in like Flint, but not math.
    And of course, I am an expert on anatomy and physiology...


    Okay, if you’re such an expert, what is that thing called that's in between your nose and your lip?

    EROS: I'd luv a tour of the sororities, and perhaps meet a professor and their T and A!

    I foresee you becoming the teacher’s pet.

    DAMIEN: My uvula is twitching at the thought..........

    I hear you ululating across the Uluru.

    ROSES: I'm afraid I'm the slow student, who requires a lot of extra tutorials.
    *sigh*


    XL is looking for extra income.

    Perhaps a job in tutoring would suit him?

    BEAST: This degree is probably more use than 'Media Studies'
    But then again
    What Isnt


    *applies leeches to Beast’s Lurex purple posing pouch*

    SCARLET: *Slaps Mr Beastie round the head with a banana slug*

    *slaps Mr. Beastie round the head with his banana hammock*

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  17. DONN: Marble gargling and Mangez la Carpet have been an integral part of both the pairbonding and the "oh-what-the-hell" aspects of the sexual evolution of our species...
    ever since we first left the trees (Monkey see-Monkey chew) and wandered out onto the African Savannah in search of magic mushrooms, sex, and carrion.
    Gummies continued to be practiced and refined throughout History as a viable alternative to going-all-the-way in Monastaries and Junior High Schools.
    In it's present form, Marble Gargling is decidedly more recreational, therefore it is essential that these educational facilities provide more than lip service.
    Institutions such as the IIOL need to instruct people on the fine balance between ergonomics, esthetics, personal hygiene, and time management skills.
    Congratulations on furthering this essential service and ensuring that tomorrow's people can draw upon your vast wealth of knowledge concerning this delightful yet demanding pastime.
    In conclusion I defer to Chinese Philosopher Khan Ing Ling, and the magnificent Greek Orator Phi Latio, who both agreed, It is better to receive than to give.


    The IIOL wishes to bestow an honourary degree on you.

    And while you’re here, can you tell us if Prof Wizenheimer would be interested in leading a lecture series?

    ISTVANSKI: Are students insured for lockjaw?

    This is Canada, not the U.S.

    You can count on our health care system.

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  18. I'm pretty sure you couldn't teach me anything about oral sex. But maybe I could be an instructor. I'll bring my own banana. What demo fruit are you using for a vagina? Guava?

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  19. MJ, that thing's called a philtrum and you'd better hope you have one with a groove, or your mama was drinkin' before you was born!

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  20. EMMA: I'm pretty sure you couldn't teach me anything about oral sex. But maybe I could be an instructor. I'll bring my own banana. What demo fruit are you using for a vagina? Guava?

    A dried peach.

    PONITA: MJ, that thing's called a philtrum and you'd better hope you have one with a groove, or your mama was drinkin' before you was born!

    Okay, you passed the written portion but are you ready for your oral exam?

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  21. *makes another batch of gin martinis*

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  22. Does Mistress MJ give demonstrations? I'd like to see exactly what I'm signing up for to get my money's worth. And don't ask me to bring my own dried peach either...those dollar bills in my g-string aren't going as far as they used to!

    Hai XL, Hai Boxer, Hai Eros, Hai Ponita (okay, why do we keep saying "Hai" again? I'm just a lemming you know...)

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  23. It is Gods will that I talk about love so I shall go here and give my all.

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  24. CYBERPOOF: *makes another batch of gin martinis*

    I must have missed out on the first round.

    RANDOM: Does Mistress MJ give demonstrations? I'd like to see exactly what I'm signing up for to get my money's worth. And don't ask me to bring my own dried peach either...those dollar bills in my g-string aren't going as far as they used to!

    I’m demonstrating with a protest sign outside the building as we speak.

    Down with this sort of thing!

    Hai XL, Hai Boxer, Hai Eros, Hai Ponita (okay, why do we keep saying "Hai" again? I'm just a lemming you know...)

    Blame XL for the “Hai” outbreak.

    It’s completely out of control as are the “Yay firsts, yay seconds, yay thirds, yay fourths” and so on.

    I’m going to have to crack down.

    KNUDSEN: It is Gods will that I talk about love so I shall go here and give my all.

    We’re having a two-for-one sale on the price of admission so you can bring your gurlyboy ex wife.

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  25. Oh Hai EVERYONE!!!

    And yes, I am ready for the oral exam... provided no subject used in the exam is over the age of 45 and must have a BMI of less than 25%... I have standards, you know.

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  26. KEVIN: I should get a job there!

    Send us your resume and a video sample of your work.

    PONITA: Oh Hai EVERYONE!!!

    What did I just say about that?

    And yes, I am ready for the oral exam... provided no subject used in the exam is over the age of 45 and must have a BMI of less than 25%... I have standards, you know.

    Looks like your first test subject is ready and willing!

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  27. that's about the only thing that's long. *barfs*

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  28. PONITA: He's a little long in tooth...

    I don’t have all day, you know.

    Pick one of these and be done with it.

    KEVIN: that's about the only thing that's long. *barfs*

    The house rules here at Infomaniac specifically state “No bodily fluids”.

    Please clean up after yourself.

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  29. Ponita's test subject looks like the Nekkid Chef with the teeny weenie. Well...apart from the teeny weenie.

    Hang on...that mean there's more than one man with that kind of beard.

    Right. That's it. I'm moving into the Oubliette.

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  30. ROSES: Ponita's test subject looks like the Nekkid Chef with the teeny weenie. Well...apart from the teeny weenie.
    Hang on...that mean there's more than one man with that kind of beard.
    Right. That's it. I'm moving into the Oubliette.


    If you’re moving into the Oubliette, you’ll have to ask Ginro about sharing the bunk beds.

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  31. The one on the left looks pretty good.

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  32. I'll take the dry one, without the crunchy tissues.

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  33. What on Earth is this all about? Really....

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  34. Is Mr. Slim a graduate?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wMRz2N1G-c

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  35. PONITA: The one on the left looks pretty good.

    Too late. He’s taken.

    ROSES: I'll take the dry one, without the crunchy tissues.

    This is no time to be picky.

    MUTLEY: What on Earth is this all about? Really....

    If you have to ask, YOU need to enroll more than anyone.

    See me after class.

    MAGO: Is Mr. Slim a graduate?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wMRz2N1G-c


    Someone should inform Mr. Slim that that dude is a lady.

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  36. That looks very similar to the finishing school I attended in Amsterdam.

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  37. VOICES: *sneaks in back door*

    Back on top of your game, I see.

    MITZI: That looks very similar to the finishing school I attended in Amsterdam

    Did you have a “happy ending” as you finished?

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  38. No, if I remember rightly it was very drafty and cold near to those windows, it's alright though, I had a portable heater at my feet, but my nipples stuck out like chapple hat pegs. Some nights when it was really cold I would wear my thick Aran cardie on top of my baby doll nighty.

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  39. MITZI: No, if I remember rightly it was very drafty and cold near to those windows, it's alright though, I had a portable heater at my feet, but my nipples stuck out like chapple hat pegs. Some nights when it was really cold I would wear my thick Aran cardie on top of my baby doll nighty.

    Tough times call for creative measures.

    You could have used your stiff nipples to cut decorative patterns in the hoarfrost on the windows.

    Festive!

    And reduces the cost of Christmas decorations.

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