Thursday, October 12, 2006

Today is National Just A Bit Poofy Day!

"No, you are not a gay. I am the gay. You're probably just a little bit poofy!"
- Daffyd Thomas

Steve: Grand Marshal of the Just A Bit Poofy Parade

Okay, you gays have had your day in the spotlight. Buncha queens. Clear off.

By an Order of Parliament, I hereby declare October 12, 2006 the first annual National Just A Bit Poofy Day.

And who better to lead the parade as Grand Marshal than our Steve.

Steve hails from deepest, darkest Dorset and his hobbies include wanking.

“But wait,” you say. “Isn’t he married to Carly? How can be just a bit poofy?”

Take a look at his pic (above) and tell me that a penchant for wearing red rubber outfits isn’t just a bit poofy. That and the fact that he likes rugby players’ pert botties. And he’s on the blower to Yorkshire’s finest poofs twice a day and sends them secret text messages when Carly’s not around.

And where is Carly anyway? The big fag hag’s run off with Will Young leaving Steve to get up to all sorts. Filthy bugger is in his element with Just A Bit Poofy Day. Just look at him. Wanker. Disgusting he is.

Well that’s all fine and good, you say. We have our Grand Marshal. Yay. Now bring on the dancing girls!

That’s our cue to introduce the lovely Miss Tickers

Steelworker by day, just a bit poofy by night, our Tickers is the official baton twirler in this, the first annual National Just A Bit Poofy Day Parade.

Tickers qualifies as just a bit poofy for oh so many reasons. (See hotpants above) Don’t blame the 70s.

Like Daffyd Thomas, Tickers is from Wales and is giving Daffyd of Llandewi Breffi a run for his money as the only gay in the village. No wait! Sorry Tickers. You’re just a bit poofy.


This is a GAY

Daffyd Thomas is the only gay in his village. Are you a gay too? Or just a bit poofy? Take our simple test to see if you would enjoy sex with men, just like Daffyd could if he would.

If you answer more "yes" then "no"... I am afraid you are a gay :-)

1. Is Madonna a goddess? Is Kylie a personal icon for you?
2. Is drag amusing and do you have your own drag name in mind?
3. Are relationships a new concept to you?
4. Have you ever owned a whistle and marched through a city with lots of poofs and lezzas proclaiming your gaiety?
5. Have you had sex in a toilet or outside with a stranger? If not, is it on your "things to do" list?
6. Do you know the moves to at least 2 songs by Steps?
7. Have you been to see a musical at the theatre and enjoyed it?
8. Do you own anything with a rainbow on it, especially a freedom flag?
9. Do you have a bald head, a goatee beard, a tattoo, or all of the above?
10. Have you slept with lots of men whose names escape you?
11. Do you find Ab Fab or Victoria Wood funny?
12. Do you go to the gym? Are you really slim and body conscious?
13. Is anything but pop music un-listenable to you? Are boy bands a good idea?
14. Do you drink a fair bit? Take 2 bottles into the shower?
15. Have you ever expressed an interest in interior design?
16. Can you bitch for England?
17. Have you ever worn a crop top?
18. Are fashion labels essential to your self-image?
19. Have you had a fling with someone off the internet? Or at least wanted to?
20. Do you fancy men and are one yourself?


Happy National Just A Bit Poofy Day!

Everybody dance now!


  1. how queer....



    funny people...

  2. I only answered 'yes' to 9, 19 and 20.

    As far as 19 goes, my fling off the internet was Tazzy and it turned into lurrrrve.


  3. 1.Yes
    10.Not loads.

  4. That makes me more poofy than Piggy.

  5. Phew.....I'm glad I'm only a bit poofy if thats what a real poof looks like.

    Whats gay about enjoying stage musicals, or bitching for England?

    And when you say by national decree - which nation - Canada or Blighty? It matters!! all fairness you do look more poofy than Piggy!(and thats without a red latex suit)!

    *skips off to kitchen to make dinner* - "I feel pretty, oh so pretty!!"

  6. Oh yeah, I nearly forgot


  7. Ex: So? How poofy are you?

    Piggy: Your Shower Cam reveals number 14 to be true.

    Tickers: You are tipping the poofy scales. A few more pounds and you’ll be entering another weight division.

    What is your drag name?

    Steve: Alright, alright.. it’s INTERNATIONAL then. Let’s party in Burkina Faso and beyond!

    You’re making dinner? Are you wearing a pinny?

  8. mj - how queer are you?

    are we queer by association if we have friends that are queer?

    i want to see tazzy's results.

    steve - you more than a little poofy. your 49% poofy.

  9. I only scored 10 out of 20.


    Ooh. Now it's 11!

  10. Just a bit poofy? pfft

    There are a hundres reasons to jump over the fence and run as far away from the fence as possible...

    It would probably be rude to list all 1oo reasons here so I've listed them at my place should anyone be interested....

  11. Pink: You must actually be munching minge to be queer, dear.

    IDV: Retest. Those figures seem low.

    Hardhouse: Did you get caught on the barbed wire?

  12. Four yesses, sixteen nos. I hate steps and drag, never been on a pride march or studied decorating, and am indifferent to the minogue woman and victoria wood.

    I just think about sex with blokes all the time.

    How about a day for cocksucking men who aren't poofy at all?

  13. Kapitano: International Hardcore Cocksucking Day For Men Who Aren't The Least Bit Poofy. I think we can get that through Parliament.

  14. Poofs above... the lot of them!


    Yes to 7,

    Yes to part 1 of 14

    19? Hmmmm *thinks*

  15. I got 2 out of 20
    numbers 5 & 9

  16. I answered yes to numbers


    Shall I go and buy my backless leather chapps, tight white t-shirt and Ab-Fab boxset now and be done with it?

    *minces off to bed squealing the lyrics to I Will Survive*

    lah de dah


  17. yes, steve. you should.

  18. 13 out of 20 - does that make me bi-sexual?

  19. Excuse me. Did Kapitano say he wasn't poofy?

    *giggles for a couple of minutes*

  20. SID: 7? Did you sing along to the lyrics? That's the clincher.

    Part 1 of 14? That goes without saying. You're drunk right NOW, aren't you? Typical filthy fecking drunken Oirishman. Bring that bottle over here and give me a swig. Ye hooer.

    19? ;)

    Geo: You are the Anti-Poof.

    Steve: Give up your drag name! What is it? Can you run in high heels? Backwards? So many questions!

    Pink: I hope he posts pics.

    Frobi: Next to Piggy, you're the biggest poof on this blog and you know it. I'm not falling for that "bi" shite.

    Piggy: He did.

  21. frobi: i am the token waffle girl here. therefore you are poofy. by one fight point.
    i took the test m'self and i should be wearing a goddamn tutu and listening to bette midlers greatest hits
    (which I own)
    (not the tutu, the-fuck it.)
    the lack of an attached penis may prove a significant hardship, i fear. or not.

  22. Drag name?

    Let me see....You take your favourite fabric then the name of your pet and add the name of the street you live in.

    That makes me-

    Cotton Evil Chicken Hanbury.

    Doesn't exactly roll off the tounge.

  23. Cashmere Stinky Victoria - see what you mean Tickers

  24. Egyptian Longstaplecotton-Jettfront

    kind of Doug Addams-y.