Monday, October 23, 2006

Lay-dee Piggy

Remember how I told you that I’d warn you next time I posted pics of big willies or full-frontal nudity?

This posting contains viewer-sensitive material.

Therefore, I provide the following disclaimers:

Avoid contact with skin, Contents under pressure, Some assembly required, For recreational use only, Colors may, in time, fade, Driver does not carry cash, No bills over $20 accepted, Call toll free before digging, Apply only to affected area, No riders, No wagering, No solicitors, Do not stamp, Do not disturb, As seen on TV, One size fits all, Do not immerse, Place stamp here, Simulated picture, All rights reserved, Slippery when wet, For office use only, No American coins, Times approximate, Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients, Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment, Return to sender, no forwarding address on file, unable to forward, This information is subject to change without notice, Some settling of contents may occur during shipping, Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery, Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform, Price does not include taxes, title, license, or destination charges, Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental, Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only, Dispose of properly, Edited for television, Use only as directed, Items sold separately, For off-road use only, Batteries not included, Don't try this at home, See label for sequence, Penalty for private use, Use unleaded fuel only, No purchase necessary, Your mileage may vary, Replace with same type, Booths for two or more, No alcohol, dogs, or horses, Do not write below this line, You must be present to win, Check here if tax deductible, Parental guidance suggested, First pull up, then pull down, For sale by prescription only, Sanitized for your protection, At participating locations only, Keep away from fire or flame, Prerecorded for this time zone, Void where prohibited or taxed, Not recommended for children, An equal opportunity employer, Use only in well-ventilated area, Reproduction strictly prohibited, All models over 18 years of age, No user-serviceable parts inside, Postage will be paid by addressee, Restaurant package, not for resale, List was current at time of printing, Sell before date stamped on carton, Some equipment shown is optional, This supersedes all previous notices, Your cancelled check is your receipt, Shading within a garment may occur, May be too intense for some viewers, Do not bend, fold, spindle, or mutilate, Freshest if eaten before date on carton, Be sure each item is properly endorsed, No other warranty expressed or implied, Substantial penalty for early withdrawal, Post office will not deliver without postage, If condition persists, consult your physician, Employees and their families are not eligible, Do not purchase if seal has been tampered with, We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, This is not a competition, it is only an exhibition, Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement, No postage necessary if mailed in Canada, This product is meant for educational purposes only.


If you wish to continue and view the photograph of Piggy’s sex change, just scroll down a wee bit.


Go ahead NOW.


Otherwise, avert your eyes.





Oink!

15 comments:

  1. His doctors deserve an award of some kind - nice work!

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  2. HA those disclaimers are always my favorite part of every commercial...the side effects are always way more dangerous than whatever ailment you are trying to manage. Why is that?

    I am going to forgo all of the obvious yet irresistable references to weiners, hamming it up, pigging out and makin' bacon.
    I would like to congratulate you for posing so tastefully.

    I really love that chair. Where did you find it?

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  3. For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.

    Use protective eyewear.

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  4. No amount of disclaimers truly prepared me for that monstrosity.

    *phones lawyer*

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  5. S/he's beautiful. A huge improvement.
    But, speaking of really beautiful. I love Awaiting's new pic.

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  6. He/she/it/ is to thin to be piggy.

    *Thanks the lord the legs were crossed*

    Fabtastic!

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  7. *looking at recently purchased package of bacon 'ends and trims' in dawning horror...*

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  8. FINALLY, MJ -- and I chuckle at your ruse here, pretending to be Piggy with the mask and all -- you've finally posted what I can only assume is a pic of yourself.

    How long did it take you to put together all those warning labels and stuff?

    Great collection of those, and great pic...but I wonder what Tazzy thinks.

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  9. Porktastic picture.

    I was warned.

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  10. Are 'within without' and 'Tickersoid' the same person?

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  11. Kaz:

    I don't think so. Hmmm...although we both wear glasses, I see, and are both males. Does that qualify?

    :)

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  12. whoever the surgeon was did a magnificient job. i don't see any scars at all.

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  13. They are tiny feet actually - you couldn't take that shot with a person with big feet they'd obscure the lens.

    and nobody said wonderful figure!

    Miserable bastards!!! (oh yeah that was the other post)

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