Tuesday, January 09, 2018

Testicle Tuesday

STAND BACK! EXPLODING TESTICLE!!!...


A British man's testicle “exploded like a volcano” after he got a rare disease while on holiday in Tunisia.

David Worsley, 59, caught African salmonella, a strain of the infection which was confined to his genital area.

He was in agony as his testicles swelled to 10 times their normal size when he got home.

His left testicle then burst as he had a bath and he is now taking legal action against holiday tour operator TUI.

David said his testicle had swollen to the size of a grapefruit and he felt 'fantastic' when it finally exploded.



Full story here.

How about you, Bitches? What's the most painful experience you've ever had, down there?

15 comments:

  1. 10,000 years ago, I had a friend who had a overnight AM radio show. One show welcomed a psychic who took calls & made predictions. Every caller basically got the same, rote answers. "You'll make money, be successful, travel, blah, blah, blah." When my turn came, this "seer" told me in the most emphatic terms, "You're going to have testicle trouble!"

    They haven't blown up yet.

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    1. It's Testosterone, Norma!!!1:38 PM, January 09, 2018

      Norma, dear,

      To think you were clutching a land-line beside a clock-radio with the volume turned down. Why if it were filmed, we'd see a close-up of the seer's lips, reading you, as it were. Then your screen-filling face-framing reaction shot. Finally, a giant hour-glass, filled with slowly falling testicles, credits begin to roll and there is an abrupt cut to an infomercial featuring Joyce DeWitt and Gary Collins already in progress.

      You really ought to pen your autobiography. We could use a modern-day Jacqueline Susann.

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    2. Jesus, it's like you were there.

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  2. The most disturbing thing about exploding nut man's story is that he actually chose to vacation in Tunisia. And he's suing the tour company because he caught an infection in an underdeveloped country? That's like me going to Syria then complaining about the noise from the exploding rockets interrupting my sleep. If you're gonna walk through a cow pasture, expect to step in crap.

    Other than getting hit in the jewels a few times--mostly as a teen during roughhousing--I'm glad to report no major injuries down there.

    But I have born witness to the most painful, most disturbing, most traumatic assault on the human genitals: It's called childbirth.

    And ain't nothin' more terrifying, or as horrific, nor more disgusting than watching a screaming, slimy, parasitic creature tear a wide, bloody path out of a tiny orifice! Miracle, my a$$! Childbirth is just f*cked up and gawd awful!

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    1. I don't think Tunisia is "an underdeveloped country". Until that stupid revolution (fomented by its unfortunate choice of neighbours, Algeria and Libya, who have always harboured terrorists) it was one of the most affluent of the Maghreb states and an extremely popular holiday destination. I've been there, and it was worth it for the spectacular ruins of Carthage alone. Jx

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    2. Crazy to think that these areas have been the granaries of the Roman Empire.

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    3. Jon, You're so lucky to have seen Carthage! I had planned a two week adventure across North Africa to see the sights--from Marrakesh to Tangiers, Morocco to see the markets and sites; hop to Gibraltar to see the monkeys and tunnels on the rock and castle ruins; over to Tunisia to see Carthage, home of Dido from The Aeneid and Hannibal, and see the Roman baths. But a month before I bought the tickets, the revolutions began rolling across the continent.

      I thought of changing to a Nile cruise from Luxor up to Alexandria and see all the ancient sites in between, but the revolution rocked that country, so my trip got delayed--still on hold for a few years now...I'll try again when it's safe, especially for my testicles!

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  3. So Dave from Bolton is only half a man now ? Sad result of a night in Tunesia (interesting 8 min version from 2012).
    Good it was before Doc Pimple-Poppers yt-channel was installed, this would really have brought the internet down ...

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  4. I now consider myself to be very lucky!
    Sx

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  5. The most painful experience down there? Probably when I was a child and someone decided to give me a nut cruncher. Their most painful experience would have been nut cruncher followed by a knee to the groin while they were getting back up. To err is human, but to give me a nut cruncher is to ensure double the payback.

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  6. "What's the most painful experience you've ever had, down there?"

    Lockjaw.

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  7. It PAINS me not to join in on this conversation but some of us have worked hard all day and must get your Wenis Wednesday post up and running.

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    1. Can you hear me, I'm snapping my fingers.

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