Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Annual Reader Survey


This blog needs more pussy


It’s that time of year again when Infomaniac allows you, our Bitches, to give us your feedback on this blog.

What would you like to see here in 2009?

*Suggestions welcome.

COMMENTS FROM PREVIOUS READER SURVEYS

Saggy, nekkid old men. Or perhaps a still life of a basket of fruit from the Tate Modern.

-- Beast


We’d like to see a big rancid cream cake stuffed up Beast’s arse.

-- Piggy and Tazzy


Orangutan buttocks. Or a nice set of baboon buttocks.

-- Garfer




More features about Old Knudsen cos he is my favourite.

-- Old Knudsen and everyone else who reads this blog

Me, impaled on Old Knudsen’s cock.

-- Leah and a dozen other female readers and one fella who didn't want us to mention his name


Nekkid blokes. That’s it. Just nekkid blokes.

-- KAZ


How about a sewing circle?

-- Scarlet

Editor’s note: How about some subversive cross stitch instead?...




Monica Bellucci’s fine ass.

-- Donn

Editor’s note: That topic is getting borrringgg. Don’t you covet anyone else’s ass?


Photos of your dainty feet, Mistress.

-- Mago


Hot young men in skimpy outfits.

-- CyberPete

Editor’s note: Yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen.


Dugongs. Toilet Planters. Giant turkeys of death. Inbred children eating dirt by the side of the road. Cheese rolling and border skirmishes. Oh wait. That’s my blog.

-- First Nations





*Infomaniac will, as usual, ignore all advice.

56 comments:

  1. "This blog needs more pussy"

    Hey, how can I be 1st!, but the cat takes my suggestion?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I would like to see more giant naked disembodied penises. I enjoy looking at them, especially when they are attached neither to personality nor corpus. It just makes things that much easier.

    Oh and yes, certainly, myself and/or anyone else, male or female, impaled on Old Knudsen's cock. Provided he's completed his full course of antibiotics.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh wait, did you mean "me" as in you MJ, or "me" as in me Leah?

    Either way.

    ReplyDelete
  4. XL: It’s a wacky world, isn’t it?

    LEAH: Oh wait, did you mean "me" as in you MJ, or "me" as in me Leah?

    I meant YOU as in Leah.

    That was supposed to be YOU saying that YOU would like to see yourself impaled on Old Knudsen’s cock.

    Hey, since you’re the one writing the dissertation, tell me…

    How might I have expressed that thought better, grammatically?

    ReplyDelete
  5. No, Mistress, not the whip!

    I see now. It was in fact completely consistent with the construction of the entire post.

    But while I'm at it, can we have some more bondage and discipline please?

    ReplyDelete
  6. OK smartypants, howzabout everything that the Tubes said that I could have in their song What Do You Want From Life?!

    a heated kidney shaped pool,
    a microwave oven--don't watch the food cook,
    a Dyna-Gym--I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home,
    a king-size Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum,
    a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi,
    real simulated Indian jewelry,
    a Gucci shoetree,
    a year's supply of antibiotics,
    a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
    and Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number,
    a beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick,
    Rosemary's baby,
    a dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams,
    a new Matador, a new mastodon,
    a Maverick, a Mustang, a Montego,
    a Merc Montclair, a Mark IV, a meteor,
    a Mercedes, an MG, or a Malibu,
    a Mort Moriarty, a Maserati, a Mac truck,
    a Mazda, a new Monza, or a moped,
    a Winnebago--Hell, a herd of Winnebago's we're giving 'em away,
    or how about a McCulloch chainsaw,
    a Las Vegas wedding,
    a Mexican divorce,
    a solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot,
    or a baby's arm holding an apple?


    Hmm?

    ReplyDelete
  7. LEAH: can we have some more bondage and discipline please?

    General generic B&D?

    Or would you like to see Mistress MJ truss up one of our male bitches?

    Or are you asking to be disciplined, you saucy little minx?

    DONN: And once you get everything on your list, you’ll turn around and you may ask yourself-"well...how did I get here?"

    And you may ask yourself
    How do I work this?
    And you may ask yourself
    Where is that large automobile?
    And you may tell yourself
    This is not my beautiful house!
    And you may tell yourself
    This is not my beautiful wife!

    Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...

    ReplyDelete
  8. yeah, perhaps some more shaved beaver....
    how about a couple more contests as well, i love entering blog contests!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. You failed my suggestion of hot gay midget action.

    The shame!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ooh, I'd like to see naked Action Man Tim again.

    And maybe a bit of your lair?

    ReplyDelete
  11. My chief request was for perverted marmosets, and I expect to see it fulfilled.

    ReplyDelete
  12. something that contravenes the UK's extreme pornography law please (we are all feeling a little deprived of our precious smut over this way).

    a little pain (consensual), perhaps?

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm with Mago's request on this.

    If you need a hand then simply light up the Bat signal, or press this button:

    Emergency Button

    ReplyDelete
  14. See, the cross-stitch was good... I'd like to see ten uses for a sea cucumber...
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  15. Yeah, Scarlet, the sea-cucumber shtik is mine and Inky's, so just stop trying to jump on our bandwagon. Personally, I would like to see more illustrations of Camden leisure pirates, but I'm at a difficult age.

    ReplyDelete
  16. i can't even think this morning...i'm good with whatever you do...seems i keep coming back for more...

    ReplyDelete
  17. I always like a good disciplining myself, but am happy to see others being disciplined. Maybe you could just be more cruel to us?

    And I'm with Zack on contests. *glances at Penis Book and thinks fondly of Little Jimmy who made it possible*

    ReplyDelete
  18. A monthly diary of what's been happening inside those stripy tights.

    A picture of how far you can work the Jameson in?

    Mucho pictures of your dainty feet.

    All of the above at once, if it saves time.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sorry Mrs P.... thought you were skiing? Off-piste?
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  20. Canadian landmarks!

    An essay on the Canadian beaver!

    A treaty and deadline for the repatriation of Celine Dion!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Nekkid young men who are not sagging! :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. VOICES: i love entering blog contests!!!

    You really wanted those GIANT UNDERPANTS, didn’t you?

    BEAST: More recipes !

    You with your Ma Beastie’s Chickpea Curry and Ms. Nations with her special fudge have that department wrapped up.

    Though I suppose I could consult with The Houseboys who do all the cooking chez Infomaniac.

    CYBERPOOF: You failed my suggestion of hot gay midget action.

    Old Knudsen made that request last year and it was vetoed on account of that’s Eddie Waring’s specialty.

    However, since Eddie hasn’t posted since October, perhaps there is a niche to be filled.

    IVD: And maybe a bit of your lair?

    There is nothing to see as it is already filling up with empty cardboard boxes as I sort through the flotsam and jetsam in preparation to move later this year.

    ReplyDelete
  23. GARFY: My chief request was for perverted marmosets, and I expect to see it fulfilled.

    Are you trying to get another “content warning” slapped onto this blog?

    CARNALIS: something that contravenes the UK's extreme pornography law please (we are all feeling a little deprived of our precious smut over this way).

    Infomaniac is here for you.

    a little pain (consensual), perhaps?

    Does inserting the point of my stiletto heel up Garfer’s arse constitute consensual pain?

    GINRO: It’s good to have you back with us!

    The emergency button only works if you’re wearing lederhosen.

    Are you?

    SCARLET: I'd like to see ten uses for a sea cucumber...

    See comment from Mrs. P.

    ReplyDelete
  24. WOLFMEN: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    However did you find us?

    No matter. Just send us a photo of your bare bottom. It is a requirement of all new male Infomaniac readers as you can see for yourself here.

    MRS.P: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    One must constantly keep watch over Miss Scarlet and it’s best you check here from time to time to see what she gets up to.

    Quite frankly, we would appreciate it if you could monitor her behavior as we have our hands full just keeping The Houseboys in line.

    As for your request for illustrations of Camden leisure pirates, we’ll need educating on this topic. Please enlighten an ignorant Canuck.

    DAISY: .i'm good with whatever you do...seems i keep coming back for more...

    You appear to be the only one who’s satisfied.

    Are you on Valium?

    LEAH: Maybe you could just be more cruel to us?

    Maybe you could get down on your scabby knees and thank us for whatever scraps we offer you.

    And I'm with Zack on contests.

    You’re still sore over losing out to Ponita on the GIANT UNDERPANTS, aren’t you?

    ReplyDelete
  25. MAXI: A monthly diary of what's been happening inside those stripy tights.

    Does that mean I have to wear those days-of-the-week panties?

    SCARLET: Sorry Mrs P.... thought you were skiing? Off-piste?

    You’ve been exposed by Mrs. P. as one of those types who subscribes to the “While the cat’s away, the mice will play” school of thought.

    For shame.

    Let that be a lesson to you.

    Obviously you are in need of discipline.

    EROS: Canadian landmarks!

    Funny enough, for ages we’ve been planning a “Big Canada” post where we show you all the big roadside attractions. Mistress MJ must buckle down and complete it for you.

    Continuing with all things Canadiana, today someone landed on Infomaniac through this Google search…“Shania Twain takes it up the arse”.

    PONITA: Nekkid young men who are not sagging! :)

    See the “editor’s note” to CyberPoof in this post.

    If you want that kind of thing, you should join Urban Cougar.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Well it works fine for me...oh.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Well now you have the next filthy Friday post right there!

    Hop to it.

    ReplyDelete
  28. i'm with you fellas...

    you do so entertain me, sugar! xoxox

    ReplyDelete
  29. GINRO: I’ll just get my dirndl, then.

    CYBERPOOF: Filthy Friday is already taken care of for this week thanks to a considerate yet perverted reader who has forwarded a link to us.

    SAVANNAH: Since you’re satisfied with the entertainment around here, can we call off my polka performance scheduled for later this afternoon?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Apologies, I have forgotten my duties as protege and assistant to Mrs P. Here are The Camden Leisure Pirates.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  31. SCARLET: These Camden leisure pirates…

    Is there any danger of them immigrating to Canada?

    I shall be on the lookout for poncho-clad alcoholics wearing fashionable headgear.

    Mud wrestling with kippers...what a silly idea.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hmmmm we could have a post of whats in MJ's box .
    Thats the packing boxes you filthy swines as we know the former will be 'Love Eggs'
    I would also like to know how you disposed of the rest of the bodies and why you left only the trainer clad feet ??

    ReplyDelete
  33. I would like there to be more Tangushomania on this blog with some gamish but not the Turkish type as that is for the weak. And more Old Knudsen impaling Leah or any young friends she may have cos Old Knudsen is all about taking care of the youth.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Lots more Old Knudsen please!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Some hot naked midgit sex please and more of that cunt Old Knudsen.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Reversed psychology.

    No more Old Knudsen cos he is toooo edgy for you to blog about.

    ReplyDelete
  37. BEAST: As we speak and before Mistress MJ has to leave for work, she is packing up a box of childhood mementoes including a teensy pair of pink tights, and drawings and poems and stories that she penned; some of which actually had moral endings!

    OLD KNUDSEN: The people have spoken.

    Expect more Old Knudsen on this blog.

    Now send me more nude photos, pronto.

    And perhaps one of you sharing a post-coital cigarette with George Clooney.

    GINRO: Then your eyesight is better than mine.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Your bed.

    We want to see a pic of your bed.

    No hoovering the minge flakes from between the sheets first either - we want to see it exactly as the vice squad would see it if they just happened to burst through the door, truncheons at the ready.

    We demand to see it. We won't be satisfied until we do. Not that that means you'll ever be able to satisfy us, obviously.

    I think we'll start a petition.

    Yes, we will.

    .
    .
    .
    .

    (I'm enjoying playing with full-stops today, for some reason)

    Anyway (fave word)...

    .
    .
    .
    .
    We, the undersigned, hereby demand that the rancid cunted MJ takes a photograph of her fuckpit in it's native state and posts it on her blog for all to see.

    Signed : PIGGY AND TAZZY

    Okay, over to the other punters.

    Note that this is in addition to, not instead of, the other requests being made in this topic.

    ReplyDelete
  39. PIGGY: A photo of the cat’s bed is forthcoming.

    Funny you should mention the vice squad bursting in as I once lived in a warehouse space that was not zoned for residential use. The cops saw the light on late at night and burst down the door when I was starkers in bed!

    No truncheons were drawn, however.

    ReplyDelete
  40. fewer cross-dressers and More very angry-indeed -dressers.........

    ReplyDelete
  41. What did the Vice Squad think of the horde of giant underpants, vintage porn, and poutine recipes when they burst in?

    ReplyDelete
  42. Mistress packing boxes with memorablia ... that is touching.

    And yes - I sign that petition!

    ReplyDelete
  43. I hope Mago signed the petition 28 times in differing names?

    ReplyDelete
  44. more waiters with their clothes on......thank you

    ReplyDelete
  45. More chain smoking chimps please.

    I like 'em!

    ReplyDelete
  46. Filthy Friday to start living up to its name.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Piggy and Tazzy
    No.
    "We, the undersigned, hereby demand that the rancid cunted MJ takes a photograph of her fuckpit in it's native state and posts it on her blog for all to see.

    Signed : PIGGY AND TAZZY
    Signed : MAGO"

    SIGN HERE!



    Creeping back to the one and only place in cyberspace that slightly makes sense.
    Mistress, my hands are warm now, where are yer feet? Let's use a drop of that orange/citrus/cinnamon scented oil here ...

    and there ...

    ReplyDelete
  48. Donn Coppens with no shirt on chopping down a tree

    Beast posed the dead man in the foreground in 'Raft of the Medusa'

    Voices starting a new blog

    Frobi rising nude and glorious from a wine dark sea

    any franconians

    IDV standing in the sand of the colliseum shouting 'are you not amused??' and brandishing his

    sword

    knudson. just pretty much anything with knudson. or his hat.

    NO ARBORISTS. EVER.

    ReplyDelete
  49. BITCHES: Mistress MJ just got home from work and if you think she's going to respond to your comments individually, you have another thing coming.

    It's bad enough that we have to churn out another post for you.

    You're lucky we even show up to say this much.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Dirty Sasquash photos. I mean the big hairy beasts, not the disgusting jiz shots.

    ReplyDelete