Monday, May 05, 2008

Beast's Favourite Post

It’s time for another installment of Your Favourite Post.

Today’s submission comes from Beast all the way over in Bournemouth, Dorset, England.

I’ve led you to believe that Beast spends all his time stuffing fruit up his backside but our Beast is a man of many parts.

Beast’s interests include getting drunk and finding new ways to incorporate salad cream into his recipes.

Beast’s favourite Beastliness post of all time is entitled “WAR AND PEACE” and to read it you may CLICK HERE.

Enjoy. And be sure to try the recipe for Baked Beans and Eggs.


  1. Brilliant!

    Of course I'd have done the same as the old git

    Not my problem that your friggin dog runs off

    However brilliant that you got a new fence for free.

  2. Oh dear .......
    Only 1 comment
    The curse of The Beast has struck MJ down in her prime :-(

  3. But what a comment Beasty!

    It's not quantity, it's quality mate

  4. the phrase put it the box will forever have a new image ....

    great way to start the week, sugar! xoxo

  5. Good post - thank god it wasn't quite as long as War and Peace.

  6. I am so sorry I haven't commented prior to this; i was busy celebrating naked gardening day and I met up with an unfortunate accident involving a milk truck and a pair of cotton slacks. once the police had gone it was...well, never mind what it was.


    *returns to problem of unwanted forb growth in unfortunate places*

    *like france*

  7. That reminds me...

    Infomaniac apologizes for anyone who met up with an unfortunate incident involving cotton SOCKS after last Filthy Friday.

    And I would like to say this much...

    I see England
    I see France
    I see Beastie's underpants.

    We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

  8. We interrupt this programme to wish a happy birthday to FN!

  9. Happy Birthday FN

    Is it your 26th again?

  10. I love that story Beast. One of the most aggravating, tedious, trials in Life, is having to deal with horrible f*cking neighbours.

    The old bastard sounds like a real f*cking prize but luckily you have Time on your side and you should remind him every f*cking day that you will outf*ckinglive him by decades and that nobody will f*cking miss him...
    if he starts f*cking crying then you have won and if he doesn't, drive a f*cking stake through his heart and chop his f*cking head off!

    I would have given a much kinder, gentler answer on a Thursday Afternoon, but it is Monday so I say that ole bastard can go f*ck himself.

    Life is too f*cking short to have to deal with c*nts like him!

  11. A delightful tale of the true meaning of Christm- Ah, neighbourliness.

    The added-bonus recipe was the coup-de-gras. I've just tried the 'windmill' approach while I cooked sausage and mash. Mashed potato looks quite pretty - like snow - as it fell around the kitchen.

  12. Beast does NOT have time on his side as he's getting on in years.

    What's that odd smell coming from Norwich?

  13. nice story, do they not allow guns there? pity, invite me over next time... i'll get the old fart to build you a fence and have him hire some naked girls to the work!!! fun post!

    happy fucking earthday to you first nations...

    mj? great photo of beasts mail box!!

  14. Phew!!!
    The comments have crept into double figures

  15. The mail box is from a mold of Beast's actual arse.

  16. Mr IVD , think of it as dinner AND and art installation....Tracy Emin has been getting away with this shite for years. You will find baked beans or mushy peas add a daring 'splash' of colour :-)

  17. I just love the quote "It has four legs!"

    Have you serialised your misadventures with the old loon? I can't get the mental image of a thundering, lightning, stormy night and an old coot taking down a fence with a Dr Frankenstein like grin.

  18. Beast falsely claims to have three legs and insists we call him "Tripod".

  19. Beast, that was a funny story. I've heard that mean people live longer--probably trying to delay their entry into hell.

  20. beast that was a riot...something similar happened to me...only when they started to build back the fence i was pleased to inform them that the original fence had been placed too far into my yard and i preferred it to be on his land...which was 3 feet over...okay i was a bit of a cunt...but it still puts a smile on my face when i go in the yard and see the fence :)