Thursday, May 22, 2008

Happy Birthday, Old Knudsen!

BYOB as Infomaniac hosts a birthday party for that grand old hornivore, Old Knudsen!

See how the happy Women of Infomaniac rush to embrace him with open arms…

And it looks like a good turn-out from the Men of Infomaniac as well…

The competition for Knudsen’s attention turns fierce.

Knudsen’s houseboy is summoned to suppress his legion of female admirers…

Uh oh.

Turns out the fellas have knocked back a few too many beers and have beaten the ladies up to Old Knudsen’s private party room…

So for those of us left here, munching the clam dip and wandering around with our party hats askew, let's continue enjoying the festivities.

In lieu of presents, Old Knudsen asks that you send him nekkid photos of yourselves.

Contrary to what you see going on here and hey, everyone’s entitled to a little fun on their birthday, Old Knudsen prefers women, or “weemen” as he calls them, to men.

He’s not really into the ghey scene unless you count that time in the army. Or that other time in prison.

However, if you’re an attractive, disease-free ladyboy, he’ll look the other way.

So strip down and send him your nude photos and make an old man’s birthday a memorable one.

Strike up the band and party on!


  1. I don't know where you come up with some of those photos, but they truly are quite disturbing.

  2. id imagine that suz will find them quite interesting, enough so she might take a deep breath/gasp... im on the dial up so at the moment i can only see the vagina sisters climbing the steps to knuders house boys... you make it look like some job. the other photos though... i bet you brought out "the good stuff" for knuders birthday...

    happy birthday knudsen and welcome to america, you can now proudly call yourself a wanker!!

  3. my eyes, my eyes!!! *rubbing lysol into them now*

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. BOB: Loosen up your tie and get into the swing of things.

    VOICES: Oh she acts all innocent but Suz’ll be gagging for a shag from Old Knudsen.

    She’ll have to take a number and wait her turn like the rest of us.

    SAVANNAH: You’re not a proper Southern belle unless you wish Old Knudsen a happy birthday.

    Where are your manners?

  6. Nope, I wont. How do you spell nope?

    I'm laughing so hard I can barely type. Okay, Let me compose myself. Fuck. Okay. I'm almost ready.

    Okay. I'm ready.

    Okay. Now I'm really ready. Okay.

    I can't stop laughing. Okay. I'm ready.

    Okay. This is real. Right? Okay. Here goes.

    Okay, I'm done!


  7. SUZANNE: OMG! Suzanne said a swear!

    And yet ANOTHER one of you who didn't wish Old Knudsen a happy birthday.

    Whatever happened to good old-fashioned etiquette?

  8. Oh my! My virginal mind doesn't know what to do. Part of it wants to break out in hives and the other part wants to join in on some helltastic fun.

    Methinks it is best to opt out for some good ol' fashioned vodks, get drunk and forget the imagery I saw tonight.

    Yes, drunk. It is a good thing. Alzheimers aint got nothing on Vodka.

    Happy birthday, Old Knudsen, ye old fart.

  9. AWA: Ye old fart?

    We know you're drunk when you start quoting Shakespeare.

  10. Happy birthday OK from far northern Canuckistan!

    We raise a glass towards Kilmory and wish you another year of scintillating ranting, raving, cap tipping to the weemin, and general depravity.

    And methinks AWA might be on to something with the vodka idea...

  11. Hey! I left him a little something on my blog and then I come over here and find what he really wants... nekkid woman. Fine.

    **takes small card she hand made for Old K and leaves**

    You always throw a good party.


    Them presbeterians sure know how to have fun

  13. Get into the swing of things? That playground may be a little much for me. Can't I start on the monkey bars or the kiddie slide?

  14. Happy Birthday, O.K.! Don't forget to wear your party hat! It's all fun and games til someone has to pay child support!

  15. Happy Birthday, Knudsen. Pity you had to show us Knudsen and his army buddies at their reunion, MJ.

  16. The time in the army didn't count, that was for discipline purposes or are you referring to the other time which was sharing body heat for survival, so many people with no manners and spelling Killamory wrong. You know me any port in a storm and whatever happens while drunk doesn't count, I miss my gurlyboy ex wife.

  17. Weemin?
    Well I'm a wee woman - but I don't suppose I'm Knudsen's type.
    Ah well - any more straight men round here?

    Happiest Birthday Knudsen!

  18. That would be 'weemen'.
    I was in too much of a hurry to get away from those naked old codgers.

  19. NWT: You’ve had your head stuck in a snow bank too long.

    As Dorothy would say, “We’re not in Killamory anymore!”

    Knudsen has moved to America.

    To the town of Rancho Crotcharea, pronounced (Crotch' a ' ria) in California.

    Try to keep up.

    BOXER: You gave Knudsen a dog in a party hat?

    I gave him nekkid weemen.

    Is it any wonder he runs to me?

    BEAST: Give Knudsen a bowler hat and a sash and a good parade route and he’s as happy as a pig in muck.

    BOB: For safekeeping, I’m sticking you in the Jolly Jumper.

  20. EROS: Knudsen learned about child support the hard way with Stevie Nicks.

    She sued the arse off him over their love child from her hippie days.

    It’s only a matter of time before Salma Hayak and Halle Berry do the same.

    T-BIRD: Can’t you appreciate that he’s doing his bit to support the troops?

    KNUDSEN: Your ex-wife is doing well in her new career.

    She might stop by later for old time’s sake.

    KAZ: Weemin?

    When did you turn lezzer?

  21. Stopped by for the party and found out there are some rooms I may stay out of. Love the band though. Tambourine girl has got it going on.

    take care headed back to the shadows


  22. Killamory - got it and huge apologies OK. I'm usually a stickler for spelling and should have checked it before typing my wrong version.

    As for keeping up with this lot - I don't think that's possible... I'll just stay on the sidelines and watch with a befuddled look on my face (I do befuddled rather well).

    And I hope the OK birthday celebrations are going great wherever he may hang his cap these days.

  23. HNTER1018: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    Tambourine girl’s tits could put your eye out so be careful.

    NWT: The drummer thinks you’re hot.

    During her break, she’s coming over to the sidelines to give you a lap dance.

  24. This Jolly Jumper is bunching up my nads... can I get out now?

  25. The Old Knudsie was born? From a woman?
    Meine aufrechte Anteilnahme Herr Knudsen.
    That was that. America deserves Old Knudsen.

  26. BOB: If you don’t stop complaining I’ll give an atomic wedgie.

    MAGO: Sympathy for the devil, is it?

    Knudsen’s old Ma reads this blog so watch your mouth.

    And speaking of mothers, Old Knudsen bucked yer ma.

  27. MJ... I knew you wanted to get into my shorts, this confirms it.

  28. BOB: Poor delusional Bob.

    Always lusting after us hot Canadian women like me and Cher.

    You don’t need us now that Shania Twain has nailed you.

  29. I should hang out more with vile naked old men. Even my modest wangle would appear like a might sword compared to their dried up dead grey worms.

  30. So the web reaches to hell? Maybe it was created there.
    Do you intent I should call him "Father"?

  31. HERGE: I’ll be the judge of the modesty of your wangle.

    Send me a pic and let me see for myself.

    And while you’re at it, send me a photo of your bare arse.

    It’s a requirement of all new male Infomaniac readers.

    MAGO: The more familiar “Da” will suffice.

    Or “daddy” if you have that kind of relationship with him.

  32. MJ.
    I have fallen in love with the tambourine operator sort. Beautiful red hair and a pair of puppies to die for. I have printed off her picture and will use it for a bit of activity later in the evening.

  33. RATTY: Welcome to Infomaniac!

    I recognize you as Mr. Mutley's love life advisor.

    When are you going to post something, by the way?

  34. MJ.
    I recognize you as Mr. Mutley's love life advisor.

    Indeed - It is my new found talent. My next blog will be centered around helping and advising young ladies with their 'Problems D'Amour' It will offered from the sympathetic fatherly perspective and will cover all aspects from that first kiss to getting shafted up the arse! If ever you need my advice - I am here to help.

  35. Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together for best band to ever come out of Canada, The Barenaked Ladies!!!

  36. RATTY: Do hurry with your new blog!

    A number of Infomaniac readers are in dire need.

    EROS: While I appreciate The Barenaked Ladies’ contribution to music, The Band is the best band to come out of Canada.


    End of discussion.

    Mistress MJ has spoken.

    TROLL: I’m not a registered voter.

    Are there prizes?

    Are cocktails being offered?


    I dreamed that knudson was humping my leg
    I dreamed that he fell off
    I dreamed that knudson had a rash
    I dreamed that it got
    I dreamed that knudson wore
    a garment of fire and rose like the dawn
    six proud horses ran away
    somewhere where the dugongs ring
    I dreamed that he was like a big, big truck, a diesel
    and he was radiant,
    smelling kind of like pine-sol-
    mercerized, boilfast and easy-care
    a new age dawned
    a new age dawned
    and it was.......
    and an age

    happy birthday knudson!

  38. Happy Butt and Boob Day, Knudsen!! Looks like one hell of a par-tay!

  39. I wonder if old Knudy has his Birthday teeth in ????

  40. Happy Birthday Knudsen!
    Looks like you've got your work cut out seperating the men from the (lady)boys.

  41. NATIONS: If you are going to dip into the OxyContin and gallon jug of cheap tequila, you can at least share it with the rest of us.

    RANDOM: Knudsen loves a well-wisher but what he really wants to see are nude pictures of you.

    Get snapping!

    BEAST: Knudsen has instructed all the weemen here to remove their dentures for his pleasure.

    IVD: As you’re carrying a purse and wearing too much eyeliner, I don’t think it will be a problem separating the men from the ladyboys.

  42. where the fuck is that bastard anyway... enjoying the ghey section of l.a. no doubt...

    *climbs over vagina sisters on steps and starts looking for knudsen*

  43. VOICES: No!

    Don't go in there!

    Uh oh. Too late.

  44. Happy Birthday Knudsen!

    Those curtains are really vile. Why didn't you put new curtains on the wish list?

  45. CYBERPOOF: Those curtains look suspiciously like Tazzy and Piggy's curtains, don't you think?

  46. *runs back down stairs, tripping over the vagina girls and bolts for the door before spilling entire breakfast in planter*

    WTF... WAS.... THAT?!?!?

  47. VOICES: I'd be more concerned that you knocked over the drum kit and the drummer is running after you with her drumstick poised.

  48. still no knudsen? where o where could that knudsen be...

  49. He's sharing body heat with weemen I think...

  50. VOICES: T-Bird is wise. Take note of her comment.

    T-BIRD: I doubt he'll resurface 'til the light of day at this point.

    Remember, he is the Lord of the Four Hour Erection.

    All aboard The Knudsen Express!

    BOXER: At least he's not humping your leg.... for a change.

    The dog, that is, not Knudsen.

    Or maybe not.

  51. Did Piggy and Tazzy give Knudsen their old curtains?

    Oh the shame!

  52. Like the naked stairs crawl...

  53. I-I-I-E-E-E-M-M-M


    Now I'm gonna need Therapy AND Lasik eye surgery!!!

    I don't think I can Un-See what I just sawded....

    Why can't memories be like a big Etch-A-Sketch??

    (You just shake it up and it's all clean!....start all over)

    Now I have to step over the man orgy just to find my way back out the door.......

  54. KIMBERLY: It's okay.

    There's a Braille edition of Infomaniac.