Monday, May 12, 2008

The Trouble With Timbits

Canada is the Donut Capital of the World.

Not only do Canadians eat the most donuts of any country’s citizens, we also have more donut shops per capita than anywhere else in the world.

Yes, we Canucks have a love affair with the donut and consider it our national snack.

Timbits, for example, are popular bite-sized donut balls also known as “donut holes” because they're the part of the donut cut out to make the hole in the donut.

Timbits are sold at Tim Hortons donut shops, otherwise known as Mecca to donut-loving Canadians from coast to coast.

A single Timbit sells for 16 cents Canadian each though most people buy them by the box.

Last week a tempest erupted over a Timbit.

Nicole Lilliman, a London, Ontario Tim Hortons employee, attempted to calm a fussy baby by offering the tot a Timbit.

And that’s where the trouble began.

Nicole Lilliman holding Exhibit A

The Tim Hortons managers noticed Lilliman’s act of kindness on videotape and promptly fired her!

A Tim Hortons district manager is quoted as saying, "Employees aren't allowed to give out free products and that's the bottom line. She gave out free product and it doesn't matter if it is a Timbit or a coffee or a doughnut or 10 sandwiches or what."

Nicole Lilliman said, "I have been fired for giving a baby a Timbit."

"It was just out of my heart – she was pointing and going `ah, ah...' I should have gone to my purse and got the change, but it was busy."

"I was crying. I was like, 'I'm a single mom with four kids and you are going to put this on my record? You should bring all the staff in here and fire them all and yourselves, too.' People give out Timbits to dogs in the drive-through all the time."

Happy ending

Enraged Canadians rallied round Lilliman, and a PR nightmare ensued with customers threatening to boycott Tim Hortons.

Long story shorter, Lilliman has been rehired and will begin working at another location with compensation.

Tim Hortons has also publicly apologized.

Lilliman says if she ever gets the urge again, she’ll pay the 16 cents out of her own purse.

Like the book says, we are a Timbit Nation.


  1. The Beast humbly suggests Miss Lillman spends her 16 cents on some contraception :-)

  2. Fucking thief they always have some excuse.

  3. The silly cow shouldn't be giving such unhealthy food to a baby in the first place.
    And that probably wasn't the first thing she did wrong to get the attention of her managers.

  4. ID is right..a mad chemist could not even dream up a worse product to put in your stomach than a Doughnut...
    never mind a Baby's mouth!

    Pure sugar and indigestible fat which cost about 2 cents each to make.
    Apparently their entire operation is paid for by coffee sales..
    everything else is profit...
    not bad eh?

    Horton was famous for Bear Hugging and breaking ribs instead of fighting...his fatal car crash is the stuff of Legend up here.

  5. What a sappy story MJ

    What happened to you, are you sick?

    Of course you are, but that's not what I meant. I'll rephrase, are you sicker that usual?

    Fever, cramps, smallpox?

  6. A 'Mad Chemist' writes...

    Did anyone ask if the kid's still alive? She should have been sacked under Health and Safety regs.

  7. Pete:
    What does 'sappy' mean?

  8. BEAST: Just because YOU couldn’t be a proper father last week to those two lovely hounds doesn’t mean the rest of the world can’t cope.

    You’ll be getting nothing from Lloyd and Alf for Father’s Day after that comment.

    KNUDSEN: Any excuse for a donut.

    It’s obvious you’re not Canadian.

    Besides the fact you’re wearing a cloth cap instead of a tuque.

    IVD: It’s healthier than the warty wands you’ve usually got stuffed in your mouth.

    DONN: Their coffee is shite but try telling that to the millions of people who line up for it every morning.

    I don’t know how, as a Canadian, you can stand there and diss the donut.

    It’s like belittling the beaver.

    CYBERPOOF: I must be suffering from the melancholic condition of “black bile”… or a bad case of the Vapors.

    KAZ: Our nation was built on the donut.

    We are fed upon donuts from birth.

    Over here (and Denmark too, it seems) “sappy” means excessively sentimental. You don’t use that word in the UK?

  9. I think we're catching up - they've just opened a fresh donut counter in my local Tesco.
    In the gritty North we say 'Soppy'.
    Perhaps those Southern Jessies say 'sappy'.

  10. KAZ: How could I be so stoopid?

    Of course it's "soppy" as in "you soppy tit".

    Sappy here in Canada. Soppy there in the UK.

    It's time for me to post my Brit-to-Canuck Speak dictionary, isn't it?

  11. Soppy?

    I like that, it seems less American

  12. Are you sure it's not a case of black wind MJ?

  13. CYBERPOOF: Whatever it is, I need to get horizontal for awhile.

    It's pushing 3 a.m. here.

  14. Sleep it off!

    I'm sure you'll smell uh I mean feel better in the morning

  15. I hate the spelling Donut.

    They're DOUGHNUTS.

    And those donuts look more like washers than nuts. A doughnut is bollock shaped with jam in the middle. Still disgusting, though.

  16. Donuts give me the runs. They are tasty though.

  17. What about trans fats? are you all on a suicide mission over there?

  18. CYBERPOOF: What makes you think I have anything TO sleep off?

    We’re not all lushes like you.

    Oh who am I kidding.

    GEOFF: We spelled it “doughnut” at one time but proximity to and influence from our southern neighbour made us fat and lazy.

    As for the shape of the donut, send me a pic of your bollocks and I’ll have the marketing division at Tim Hortons create a proper DOUGHNUT.

    PRU: Do us all a favour and don’t eat donuts before visiting this blog.

    I’m constantly cleaning up my readers’ messes, it seems.

    FROBI: Tim Hortons has been making trans-fat-free donuts since early 2006.

    I don’t know about Country Style Donuts though, which are considered the chav donut chain of Canada.

    Yes, Canada actually assigns unwritten social class categories to donut shops.

  19. Black bile, achach, melancholey raises its ugly head, all I can wish is a bona concoctio, filia Saturni ...

  20. MAGO: A phlebotomist has been summoned and leeches will be applied.

  21. I knew a botom of some description would make an appearance before long , this one is dressed up in latin, the oman is OBSESSED

  22. BEAST: The phleBOTOMist is leaving a jar of leeches for you.

    The leeches should be able to feed off your ample bottom for months.

  23. Is it just me, or does "Timbit" sound dirty?

    OK, just me then.

    **prefers Krispy Kreme, anyhoo**

  24. and she still wanted her job back? would have been better publicity if another chain picked her up! but tims is "the" chain to be working for if your into timbits. and or working for timbits....

  25. BOXER: Uh oh.

    Here we go with the Tim Hortons vs Krispy Kreme debate.

    VOICES: To work for another donut chain in Canada other than "The Hortons" would be a step down in the hierarchy of Canadian donut shops.

  26. Krispy Kreme gives away free donuts..... at first I thought she was fired for NOT giving them away.

  27. BOXER: Free donuts?

    *feverishly flips through phone book for nearest Krispy Kreme location*

  28. Execute the bitch! stealing and giving donuts to babies then theres the giving away products to dogs, that stuff kills dogs.

    Lets give the pups some chocolate and onions and really shut doon their livers and hearts.

    Who knows who many other 5 finger discounts are going on?

  29. KNUDSEN: I admit I was more concerned about the poor doggies being fed donuts than the baby.

    Why can't they keep some nice proper dog biscuits on hand?

    Have you figured out yet why you don't see white dog poo anymore?

    Maybe Tim Hortons is responsible.

    I smell another lawsuit.

  30. White dog poo isn't seen any more due to the fact that dogs never seems to eat bones any more.

  31. Yeah, what the hell is it with Canadians and donuts? I never met a Canuck who refused a deep fried sugar bomb...well, we here in the U.S. just eat everything else. Hey, is that crap? Can I eat it???

  32. I'll prove how Canadian I am..
    last night Sidney Crosby's second goal was not allowed..HUH...
    even when those knuckleheads went upstairs to review it?
    WTF? Are you kidding me? That went past the goal line by 3 inches!

    Somebody at head office is gonna get a hurtin' real bad!

  33. Mmmm. Donuts. We are just catching up with your here, on the arse end. There's a few more donut franchises, but I am guessing our Timbits are not as good as yours.

    I can't believe IDV hasn't been here to say something about Timbits.

  34. PIGGY: I knew I could rely on you for anything to do with poo.

    See how that rhymed?

    Anyway, why haven’t you done any poo postings lately?

    I bet you left a smelly pressie for IVD when you visited his house, didn’t you?

    RANDOM: You should see how Canucks go crazy over a big box of donuts.

    If you bring a box of donuts into a Canadian office and plunk them down in the staff room, someone will send a group email out to all the employees saying, “DONUTS IN THE STAFF ROOM!”

    DONN: Have you changed your name to Donn Cherry?

    What is this? Coach’s Corner? (Which I intend to blog about one day, by the way).

    Besides, once the Habs were out, so was I.

    T-BIRD: Are you drunk again?

    IVD was here … third commenter.

  35. Yes, I probably am drunk with lack of sleep - but he didn't mention anything about Timbits, did he?

    It's prime for some smut...

  36. T-BIRD: Obviously it's me who's drunk as I didn't make the TIM-bits connection.

    Good one!

  37. Have a glass of whatever you are drinking for me, would you?

    Today is going to suck, so I think a few drinks might take the edge off.

  38. AH... drinks, im on a week of prescribed sobriety myself... this weekend was one of "those" weekends... hahahhahahaaa.... yeah have one or seven for me too please!

  39. Hey...check out my blog. I want to nominate Ryan Reynolds for celebrity arse...or have you already done that one? I'll have to search your blog. I'm horny right now for Ryan Reynolds.

  40. T-BIRD: I can't drink too much as I'll probably have a busy work day tomorrow.

    Oh what the hell.

    One more can't do any harm, right?

    VOICES: Another drink?

    Oh if you insist!

    RANDOM: You're the first to request Ryan Reynolds' arse.

    Keep your panties on and take a number.

    There's a dozen or so readers ahead of you who've put in Celebrity Arse requests.

  41. I've learned something today. As an occasional visitor to Canadia or Mooseland as we call it here I was aware of Tim Horton's. However, as a non coffee drinking person, I'd never been in one and was unaware of the Timbit.

    In a country where you can't buy beer and liquor in the same shop, need a licence/permit for everything and can't carry an unopened tin of beer inside a car I'd have thought Timbits would have been illegal and available through the black market only.

    This is the road to ruin for Canadia. Next thing you know some well meaning countrymen will decide that some Mickey Mouse language like French or something should be spoken out loud and without embarrassment. Mark my words!

  42. Oh god, this makes me want a Timbit so bad. I like the fritter ones or the ones that look sort of uninflated, the powdered ones are just messy to eat. I had to laugh about Country Style being the lower class donut place and it's true, so true. Excellent post.

  43. BBB: Next time you’re in Canada, oh my mistake…MOOSELAND, see how many Timbits you can stuff in your mouth at once and take a pic for me.

    There really IS a Mooseland in Canada.

    Population 99.

    DINAH: You’re hooked on Hortons.

    I’m sure there are plenty of Hortons in Edmonton but if you were back in Ontario, you’d have one on every street corner and a fix would be just minutes away.

    Yeah, the apple fritters are good and I like a good cruller myself. I also like the plain donut with a cup of coffee. Though not Tim Hortons coffee.

  44. sugar, people here will bring HOT freshly baked krispy kreme donuts to a party!!! ok, single guys who haven't a clue, but yeah, krispy kreme rocks! xox

  45. There are at least three Tim Horton's within walking distance of my place in Edmonton, that I know of, so I'm covered here. Back in Ontario I used to tell people that I came from such a remote area that I lived an hour and a half away from a Tim Horton's!

  46. SAVANNAH: Krispy Kreme are the crack cocaine of donuts.

    DINAH: Where did you live in Ontario? North of The Soo?

    Once while driving through Hamilton I noted that each corner at an intersection had a donut shop on it. All different franchises, mind you. But a donut shop on every corner.

    Hamilton, by the way, is the Tim Hortons capital of Canada.

  47. I once went to a Dunkin Donuts in Quebec. Is that wrong?

  48. Well I am glad to see the people in charge came to their senses. Kinda ridiculous if you ask me to fire a gal over something like that, but then again I am just a dumb, white guy. God only knows what I am going to try and give my unborn children to get them to stop crying.

  49. MATT: If you went all the way to Quebec, you should have been sampling the poutine, not the donuts.

    MR.SHIFE: To stop your unborn children crying, you could become a Milkman.

  50. I used to live in Hamilton and we calculated it out and there was one Timmie's for every 25 people in the city - there are places there where you can stand outside one and see another clearly down the street LOL.

    Btw for the "doughnuts should look like bollocks with a jam filling" - there are jam filled timbits - how much more bollock-like can you get?

  51. LOST: Regarding the donut shops of Hamilton...sad but true.

    I haven't confirmed this but just as Canada is the donut capital of the world, St. Catharines is the donut capital of Canada.

  52. luv the donuts! Though, I'm a Dunkin Donuts kind of guy, I'll gladly take one or more!

  53. Hamilton is the donut capital - more Timmies there than anywhere else. Hell of a place Hamilton - huge stinking steel foundries and ground zero for fried dough.

  54. woah woah woah.... hold the phone! did you just say 16 cents for a timbit? for ONE effing timbit? no fucking wonder i hate Tim Hortons. That left a worse aftertaste in my mouth than their coffee.

    oh, not many people know this, but you actually have to be full on retarded to work there. Its the only requirement they have.

  55. CHER: So if not Tim Hortons, where do you get your donut fix?