Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Maidy’s Vibrator Collection




"Bi” now you’re all familiar with American Psycho Bitch From Hell, Maidy aka Maidink.

Voted two years in a row as “Bi Bitch Philadelphians Would Most Like to Shag.”

But what you don’t know about her is that old “Slippery Snatch” has a closet full to bursting with vibrators.

The dirty bitch.

I’m here to expose the collection to the world.

Let’s begin with the most powerful models.

Maidy’s industrial strength concrete vibrator collection.






and





The models above are the vibrators Maidy pulls out when she’s dreaming of Stacy Kiebler or Nick Beyeler.


Let’s hear what they’re saying about these sturdy sex toys . . .


The 10-inch vibrator comes with a 1-1/16" rod and a hose long enough for any task. Even for satisfying that horny American Psycho Bitch Maidy.

Features a radial fan that runs cooler and lasts longer.

Rugged design hits harder, at lower speeds.

Delivers 12,000 vibrations per minute (vpm).




Now that we’ve seen the most vigorous vibrators behind Maidy’s closed doors, let’s have a look at the models she pulls out just for fun. When a less potent pulsator will get the job done.



Hello Kitty Vibrator



The Hello Kitty Vibrator is no longer available. The company’s molds were seized and destroyed.

Maidy was fortunate to pick up a second hand vibrator on eBay.



Talking Vibrator



The Talking Vibrator comes complete with a REAL mans voice, saying:

Go away, Ive got a headache
Mmm, you're looking cute tonight honey
Sorry, I have to get up early tomorrow
Hell, can't you get a real man?



The Tongue and The Tongue Tingler



Sometimes that bitch just needs a good

Tongue

lashing.





Video Voyeur





An insertable micro camera for internal viewing action with powerful, multi-speed vibrating bullet...Easily plugs into your television or records on your VCR.

Maidy, nothing personal but you can keep your home movies to yourself.



Vibrating Hairbrush




The Vibrating Hairbrush.

For those unruly pubes.




Scrubby Brush



Vibrating Scrubby Brush.

Doubles as a toilet brush.

Combines a cheap thrill with a clean bathroom.



Buzzing Beaver Vibrator




And now, in the interest of maintaining foreign relations, we bring you the Buzzing Beaver Vibrator.

A symbol of Canada and of my friendship with old “Slippery Snatch” herself.

18 comments:

  1. Yay! First!

    The 'Video Voyeur' one... "Look deep up inside me"

    *vomits intestines up*

    ReplyDelete
  2. Crikey, she must have a 'growler' like the Channel tunnel.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bollocks, scrotums, naked twisters and now vibrators.

    You definitely need a good shagging don't you MJ?

    ReplyDelete
  4. PIGGY: Relax. Child X is obstructing the view.

    TICKERS: *waits for Maidy to show up and slap Tickers*

    CONVICT: That's rich coming from you. You're the one who posted the bollocks site, remember?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Only because you kept pestering me for a picture of mine, which you are not going to get btw.

    ReplyDelete
  6. CONVICT: You're the only hold-out who hasn't sent me a pic. Obviously because your nads are too ugly for public viewing.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You nasty, filthy, little Canuck.

    I love it!!!!

    I knew you loved me! Now that we have the toys, I think another bitch slap fight is in order.

    *gives two finger salute to Tatty and Piggy*

    *slaps Tickers in the chops with 13" dildo*

    ReplyDelete
  8. Why on earth do you require a pic of my nads?

    ReplyDelete
  9. MAIDY: 13 inches?

    *agrees with Tickers' comment*

    *considers another greasy girl fight with Maidy*

    CONVICT: I was planning to post a Bloggers' Balls gallery once I've got everyone to send me their pics. But since you're such a spoil sport, I've called it off.

    ReplyDelete
  10. If you're that desperate then I suggest you talk to Tatas.

    ReplyDelete
  11. CONVICT: Maybe Tatas would like to get in on our next bitch fight.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I wouldn't complain about that. I dibs the video recorder though.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Those damn machines are gonna put us out of business...
    thanks a lot, you just made my 'job' twice as 'hard'!

    ReplyDelete
  14. CONVICT: Remember to bring the battery recharger.

    HE: We still need you for lifting heavy objects.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I wonder why the need for so many.

    I, for one, have never owned one, although the mother and sister have one in pink.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Awaiting: I hope that's each, not shared

    ReplyDelete
  17. Awa' is pink ever going to give it back?

    ReplyDelete