Initially, I hired an experienced landscaper.
Her continual raking annoyed me, so I found Duke on Craigslist.
An expert mower, I’m considering using him to plow this winter.
When Duke was busy with other tasks, the Mistress (!) pinch-hit with the mowing. Sweet of her, huh?
Ultimately, I hire all the work out & enjoy myself.
Fuck it, I’m worth it!
You never looked lovelier, dear. Your bush needs a bit of pruning, though. Jx
ReplyDeleteWait a minute, I'll grab the clippers for you!
Deletedelegate verb del·e·gate
ReplyDelete1. to entrust to another
2. to appoint as one's representative
3. to assign responsibility or authority
See Norma Desmond.
Sounds like I'm a top.
DeleteOh Norma, that's what they ALL say.
DeleteOh dear, gravity has not been kind to you. But chin up dear, both of them.
ReplyDeleteMmmwah!!
DeleteThe Mistress's grassy knoll could do with a good going over again.
ReplyDeleteConspiracy theories at Infomaniac?
DeleteSounds about right.
Norma dear,
ReplyDeleteOf lawn and garden,
scratch and belch,
beg your pardon,
choke on felch.
Your pearls be twisted,
your hair askance,
those dangling misters,
hedge clipped your pants.
And rightfully so,
you giddy vamp,
indirect access
hides your tramp stamp.
One in the back,
and one up front,
The World Health Organization,
can be so blunt.
Pendulous and craven,
you echo and sway,
bacterial mysteries,
swim in your hay.
The barn door is open,
Geraldo's seen your vault,
the rancor and rancid,
bring the horny to a halt.
You say your worth it,
but we know what that means;
call boys are wise,
to cultivars in your jeans.
Your garden's a mess,
hazmet suits will atest,
Sabin and Salk won't sample,
what's under each breast.
So attend your party,
it's only for one.
Toys you can burn,
are your best bet for fun.
You never disappoint Testy, brilliant as always.
DeleteHaving a good staff is so very important to modern living.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jeffrey!
DeleteI'm chafing, again.
ReplyDeleteLike most of us, you need some boy butter... Jx
DeleteIt's partially hydrogenated! She won't put that artery clogging crap on her thighs.
DeleteBoy Butter is Mr. DeVice's thing.
DeleteSpeaking of Mr. DeVice, it's not like him to miss a Garden Event. I know he had something BIG coming up soon so I suppose he must be off doing that.
He's moving house.... apparently the new house has no chimney, so no sacks from Santa for Mr Devine this year!
DeleteSx
Of all the times for Mr. DeVice to move sticks. He'll have a lot of catching up to do here when he gets settled.
DeleteHis garden photos are next up. Should I post them soon or wait for his return?
Erm... I'd probably wait a bit. He'll probably turn up soon.
DeleteSx
Best wait until Mr Device is back in the saddle again, so to speak.
DeleteThanks for your input. I'll move along soon to the next entry, while we're waiting for Mr. DeVice.
DeleteWait until the staff rise up in revolution. Then you and your pearls won't be so sanguine, will you?
ReplyDeleteLet them eat...me.
DeleteI'm very concerned about the Mistress's footwear.... she would be better off wearing a pair of CROCS for riding the mower and especially for when riding the expert mower.
ReplyDeleteSx
I thought the crocs might go on her tits.
Delete*seething silently at Miss Scarlet and Miss Desmond*
Delete:-)
DeleteSx
Hey Norma can I borrow your mower I've got a bush that needs tending to...
ReplyDeleteMy mower's your mower!
Delete