Harsh Toilet Tissue

There is no form of human illness QUITE so humiliating as rectal trouble...

FEAR OF SPLINTERS in harsh toilet tissue led to a successful advertising campaign (1920s & 1930s) that made Scott the world’s largest manufacturer and exporter of toilet tissue.

One brand, Sani-Tissue, was treated with balsam to ensure softness. 

An ad warned that "after 40 years of age, doctors say you have one chance in two of contracting some form of rectal disease." The cause? "Harsh or impure toilet paper."

You can read more about it here.

So how about you? Do you feel susceptible to the troubles caused by harsh toilet tissue?

Hand-Drying Hygiene

When was the last time you saw one of these in a public lavatory?...


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Aside from being unhygienic, the continuous cloth towel roll frequently jammed.

So how should we dry our hands? Paper towels? Warm air hand dryers?



Studies have found that "hand dryers harbour bacteria and can blast germs into the atmosphere and promote infection."

Another study suggests that "paper towels are more efficient because they dry hands quicker and prevent transfer of germs."

Yet another study concludes that "paper towels and warm air hand dryers have the highest environmental toll."

Then there's the Dyson Airblade. Here we see Sir James Dyson of vacuum cleaner fame who states that "the Dyson Airblade hand dryers dry hands quickly and that the digital motor self-adjusts 6,000 times a second to maintain optimum efficiency."

I'm seeing more and more of these in public toilets. The hand dryer, that is...NOT Sir James.

Dyson's come up with another hand-drying innovation...the Dyson Airblade Tap Hand Dryer (click illustration to enlarge)...

The Dyson Airblade Tap Hand Dryer combines a faucet and a hand dryer, letting users dry their hands at the sink, rather than hiking over to a hand dryer and letting water drip all over the floor. Dyson thinks it ultimately "ought to be in everybody's house" as it's more hygienic than using and re-using hand towels. But with a price tag of £999, we won't be seeing one soon in the Infomaniac salle de bain. If you want to see how it works, click here for a video clip.

So how do you dry your hands in a public toilet facility?

Weekend

It's the weekend. Why not get together with old friends?...

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Filthy Friday in the Infomaniac Waiting Room

Refreshments are being served...

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Perv of the Day

In a story that appears custom-made for Infomaniac, police apprehended a man on Saturday, wearing what appears to be lipstick and eye make-up...


His name? Calvin WANK.

Yes, you heard me. Wank ... the British slang term for masturbation.

Wank, age 56, of Deposit, New York, was arrested on the weekend for "touching himself" in a field and parking lot next to "Love's Travel Shop," a truck stop in the town of Kirkwood, about an hour south of Syracuse. He allegedly performed lewd acts, witnessed by several truck drivers.



The wanker has been charged with public lewdness and is scheduled to appear in court next month.

This incident appears to be unrelated to the Florida man arrested for masturbating while driving down Interstate 95, the California man arrested for masturbating while riding a bicycle, or the Florida woman arrested for masturbating on her motorcycle in her garage, with the door open.

Vintage Kitchen Accessory du Jour

When was the last time you saw one of these?...



Attach this kitchen wrap dispenser to the wall, and stock the designated compartments with a roll of aluminum foil, wax paper and paper towels. Then simply lift the lid and use the serrated edges, pictured below, to tear off a sheet, as needed...



A popular kitchen accessory back in the mid-20th century, one wonders why you don't see them these days. Wouldn't it be handier than rummaging through your drawers? (insert joke here.)

The dispenser above is available through Etsy for around $200, if you find you can't live without one. The ad (1950s?) below, shows  a Kromex "Triple Tier Towel Dispenser" (above the bread boxes) for $6.95....

Which reminds me.... when was the last time you saw a bread box?

And is that a CAKE tin?

Oops...distracted. Where were we?

The kitchen wrap dispensers were available in a range of colours...

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This one has a compartment for Saran Wrap too...

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Perhaps it was owned by Marabel Morgan, author of "The Total Woman," who proposed that women rekindle their marriages by greeting their husbands at the door dressed in nothing but Saran Wrap.

 So, when was the last time you saw one of these Foil Wrap/Wax Paper/Paper Towel Wall Dispensers?

And how do you store these items?

It's Fall, Y'all

Today marks the first day of Autumn and our thoughts turn to the fall harvest..

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But we're getting ahead of ourselves.

Let's take time to reflect on the spring and summer of 2014 and submit photographs of your gardens for the Fourth Annual Infomaniac Garden Photos Event.

I'll be announcing the deadline in an upcoming post. You've had since April to think about it so don't give me any of your sass.

Back to Work, Bitches

As seen on Monday morning at Infomaniac headquarters...

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Morning Has Broken

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Have a good weekend, Bitches.

Filthy Friday Meets Fashion Friday

We haven't had a Filthy Friday since July! So here you go...


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It seems this is also Facial Hair Friday.

Office Etiquette

Mind your manners in the office!


We've been spying. We've planted our detectives in the shadow of filing cabinets, beneath receptionists' desks, in business houses big and small everywhere--and we're pretty fed up with their findings.

It seems the working woman at work is given to GIRDLE HITCHING!

-- an exception certainly to the rule that all unaffected gestures are charming.

We here at Infomaniac feel that a word to the wise might come in handy--and if you don't like our words, have a look at our pictures, and think about your business behaviour.

100% Scottish

On Thursday, Scottish voters will flock to the polls to answer "yes" or "no" to this question: Should Scotland be an independent country?


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If Scotland votes "Yes," the United Kingdom will split and the Scots will go their own way.

A Brit who ordered a bucket of KFC, pulled out this piece of chicken (pictured below,) and declared that it looks like a map of England and Wales without Scotland...



They say that breaking up is hard to do...



Are you 100% Scottish? Take this quiz to find out.

H is for...

In her bid to become the next Leona Helmsley, Mistress MJ has acquired yet another motel, in addition to the popular Infomaniac Inn.


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Mistress MJ has purchased the Lazy H Motel.

But just what does the "H" stand for?

Phone Fantasy

CALL NOW...

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The Phone Fantasy line is a division of Infomaniac's Fag, Hag and the Odd Slag Dating Service.

Scenes From My Summer Vacation

Norma knitting a (fill in the blank)...

While I Was Away...

Our Mr. Device asks, "Did anyone remember to feed and water MJ's houseboys while she's away?"


[thanks to Mr. DeVice at Infomaniac Publishing]

In my absence, the houseboys had to fend for themselves. You can read all about it in "Lord of the Houseboys: a tragic tale of houseboys fending for themselves."

So what have you Bitches been up to? Did I miss anything ... besides you?