Wednesday, July 25, 2007

MJ’s Gilded Palace of Sin

The year? Late 1800s.

The place? The Storyville District (red light district) of New Orleans.

The establishment? MJ’s Gilded Palace of Sin; the poshest bordello in the city.

Revel in the opulent surroundings. The overstuffed divans, the heavy, red velvet draperies, the potted palms, chandeliers, mirrors, oriental rugs, erotic paintings, fountains, grand piano, lavish banquet room and fully-stocked bar.

And in the private boudoirs? Big brass beds and double slipper cast iron clawfoot tubs.

And at the centre of this scene? Madame MJ holds court in this den of decadence and delight.

And you, her bitches, all play your parts.

Each one of you has a special role to play.

It’s not just any bordello, mind you. This “gentlemen’s club” caters to unusual and offbeat tastes.

So, those of you who choose to be courtesans in the Gilded Palace of Sin, please state your own particular talent. The one unique gift that sets you apart from all the others and draws in the clientele.

IVD, naturally, is the Palace’s biggest money-maker. That little wench brings in the big bucks not based upon any unique talent but rather on his ability to turn over the punters at an alarming rate. Ka-ching!

For those of you who would prefer not to soil your dainty petticoats, The Palace requires other roles as well.

For example, I imagine big boys Tazzy and Eddie Waring taking on the role of security at the door.

There are many different employment positions to be filled at MJ’s Gilded Palace of Sin. Name yours.

p.s. This idea was inspired by Garfer’s posting.

UPDATE: July 26, 2007. Infomaniac has left the country … again! This time I’m in Seattle. See you soon.


  1. Can I be the opium pusher.


  2. my particular talent: pain threshold higher than a crack whore in a hot air balloon.

  3. Would my ability to fart the French national anthem be of any use?


    Madame MJ is pleased.

    *lights up opium pipe, starts counting the rolls of bills in her head and falls back to sleep*

    *smiles Cheshire cat grin as dreams commence*

    *wafts in and out of consciousness and swears she can hear La Marseillaise in the background*

    *and swears she can smell a particularly pungent French cheese*

  5. GARFY: Bonus points for begging.

    I may consider special job perks for you.

  6. Overstuffed divans? Are you sure you don't mean divas?

    Anyway I could sit on a chaise and sip champagne all day.

    Hows that for a talent?

  7. I would be the dusky and exotic extras girl, mistress of all trades...the one who smokes the cigarette in the 'circus'(cyberpete sits in the chair.) a 70 for ss and mixed parties, the house favorite 'keyhole girl' specialty is asphyxia scenes.

    not that i've ever given the subject any thought. ahem.

  8. Brad pitts dancing partner in 'a river runs through it' only dirty.

    i am entirely too into this.

  9. CYBERSWEET: Overstuffed diva?

    You mean Piggy?

    Sip champagne from my slipper.

    FN: We'll call your boudoir the Michael Hutchence Room.

  10. FN is far to knowledgeable about this subject tp be making it up.

    I demand she tells all.

  11. My special talent - that's a tough one.

    But I can swing from that chandelier whilst drinking champagne and doing my Edith Piaf impression with no trouble at all.

  12. GARFY: We'll share the film rights to FN's memoir, shall we?

    KAZ: Qu'elle spectacle!

    Tu ne regrettes rien.

  13. sorry to sink your dreamboat; i was a maid for ten years. i came up through the hot sheet places and believe me, even at the Hilton you see all kinds of 'hospitality' in the hospitality industry. just like taxicab drivers and croupiers; we know all the working girls.

    *hopes they buy it*
    *considers carrying CB's word of mouth*

  14. Well, punters that come during their lunch hours don't have a lot of time...

    Anyway, for the more discerning customers, there's my show involving my crystal balls and powerful wand.

    Oh, and my 'thumb trick', of course...

  15. FN: Forgive me but I'm "choking" on your explanation.

    IVD: Your "thumb trick?"

    That would be the one with your thumb stuck completely up yer arse so you don't have to post the pic of yourself in The Elf Shorts?

  16. I would be the crooked cop getting freebees or I'd shake the place doon.

  17. I would be Old Knuddies partner - we work as a team.

  18. hmmmm I think the champagne has gone bad

    or is it the flavour of your slippers

  19. COWARDS.

    we need:
    downstairs maid/shoeshine boy
    schoolmistress/domineering aunt
    pig boy
    leather daddy
    rough trade all positions
    gloryhole 'catcher'
    sex kitten
    golden shower girl
    slave boy/girl
    partial post-op tranny
    naughty schoolgirl-boy
    naughty nurse m/f
    ...who can double in the following scenes:
    infant discipline
    emetic-enema carwash
    suspension scene rigger
    "" piercer
    surgical theatre
    necrophiles crawlspace
    latex inflation
    death row shower
    feces coffin
    japanese rope bondage pinata
    bukkake jacuzzi
    canine humiliation pen

  20. ok I will go hardcore like FN said and sign myself up for the gloryholes

    still lounging on my chaise with a glass of bubbly in the hand mind

  21. when i get excited, i wheeze like Bob Dylan harmonica.........

  22. I would be wearing silk PJ's draped on a brocade upholstered chaice lounge sniffing finest Bolivian flake from a crystal spoon. Playing games of mahjong with the gentlemen visitors while they wait - smoking cocktail cigarettes, smelling of lavender water and fresh sweat in the balmy weather.

    Of course I'd be there to lend a helping hand if the girls got too busy.

    Has MJ fucked off on hols again!!!

  23. I go away for a few days and you lot turn this place into a cheap whorehouse!