Saturday, June 09, 2007

PMS Alert!





Back off, bitches.

I need my medication…



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30 comments:

  1. Vicus Scurra2:41 AM, June 09, 2007

    Stop fucking moaning and makes us all a cup of tea.
    And that ironing won't do itself, you know.

    ReplyDelete
  2. S.I.D.3:41 AM, June 09, 2007

    Retreat! Retreat! MJ alert!

    ReplyDelete
  3. CyberPete4:41 AM, June 09, 2007

    Errrrr hello?

    Scary, must retreat must retreat must retreat must retreat

    it's like a car crash you want to leave but you are just too curious

    ReplyDelete
  4. Eddie Waring7:03 AM, June 09, 2007

    Fuckin' PMS my arse. Try shaving your face every couple of days and see how you like that.
    By the way, your mustache is starting to grow back in. Would you like to borrow a BIC?

    ReplyDelete
  5. The Mistress9:19 AM, June 09, 2007

    VICUS: Let me press those trousers for you.

    No, don't take them off.

    SID: I have a barrack buster with your name on it.

    CYBERPETE: You won't get far running in those heels.

    EDDIE: Try removing my foot from up yer arse.

    ReplyDelete
  6. CyberPete12:59 PM, June 09, 2007

    Honey, I'd run marathons in these stilettos

    Bring it on bitch

    bring it on

    ;0)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous2:20 PM, June 09, 2007

    PMS?

    Here - have a cream bun and shut the fuck up whining. You should be used to it by now.

    Make sure you've done the dishes and scrubbed the toilet pan first though.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous2:23 PM, June 09, 2007

    Drat! Now see what you made us do, you stupid cunting whining woman?

    M and J! Arrrrgh!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous2:25 PM, June 09, 2007

    Just felt like leaving another comment talking about nothing but shite.

    Just like pre-menstrual bitches do.

    Cabbages were up in price at Morrisons today.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous2:27 PM, June 09, 2007

    And the Bitch Pills are for dogs.

    How very appropriate.

    How many have you had so far?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous2:29 PM, June 09, 2007

    Or should that be 'how many bottles'?

    Cleaned the manufacturers out, no doubt.


    Where they extra strength, by any chance?

    ReplyDelete
  12. S.I.D.3:20 PM, June 09, 2007

    Women with PMS smell..well...different.

    I have an acute sense of smell and can sniff one out at least half a mile away..ok then.. in the same room.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous3:34 PM, June 09, 2007

    You'd be able to smell MJ's from half a mile away, that's for sure.

    In fact, we can smell it from here!

    Poor Mr MJ.

    ReplyDelete
  14. The Mistress4:08 PM, June 09, 2007

    Fuck all of you! You’re all a bunch of cunts. Except Cyberpete. No wait. Cyberpete’s a friend of IVD’s so he’s automatically a cunt. Anyway, fuck all of you! I go away for a few hours and come back to this mess. Thanks for fouling my blog. And unlike sunny England and Norn Iron, it’s pouring rain all day here and I’m soaked. And not one but two cars tried to run me down. And SID, that smell you detect is the Semtex cocktail I’m mixing for you. Fucking Irish cunt.

    *shoves cream bun in Piggy’s fat gob and shoves the toilet brush up SID’s arse*

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous4:18 PM, June 09, 2007

    Ooooh! Get her! Touchy bitch.

    Anybody would think PMS was something difficult to deal with.

    Have you finished that washing up yet?

    Oh and fetch me a beer from the fridge on your way.

    ReplyDelete
  16. The Mistress4:37 PM, June 09, 2007

    PIGGY: You think it's bad now? Just wait 'til I get cramps!

    *hurls tin of Grolsch at Piggy's head*

    ReplyDelete
  17. pissoff5:03 PM, June 09, 2007

    That smell is because you've had your head up your arse SID.

    Now... you want the toilet cleaned just bend over and let me get that brush out of your arse...

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous5:07 PM, June 09, 2007

    Cramps? Oh goody!

    *looks forward to added value excitement*

    Last long, do they?

    *hopes so*

    ReplyDelete
  19. S.I.D.6:08 PM, June 09, 2007

    Jaysus wept..

    Did I say it was a bad smell????


    And don't forget to open the tin of beer and pour it too...in the style of a Greek Goddess...oh and bring the crisps,(no sorry chips for your understanding) and feed me them one by one.


    *lies waiting on the couch*

    ReplyDelete
  20. The Mistress6:22 PM, June 09, 2007

    PISSOFF: I’ve had my arm up SID’s arse.

    It smells of cabbage and Guinness.

    PIGGY: DAYS of pain. I’ll make sure you suffer along with me.

    *hopes Piggy’s reincarnated as a woman*

    SID: Coincidentally, I’ve just torn open a bag of chips with my teeth to sate the incredible salt craving that goes along with the PMS.

    The fly on your trousers is next on my list.

    *bares fangs*

    ReplyDelete
  21. S.I.D.7:11 PM, June 09, 2007

    *bares a crucifix and garlic*

    Your just after my stake.

    Dirty PMS ridden Canuck

    ReplyDelete
  22. The Mistress7:25 PM, June 09, 2007

    SID: Your stake has dry rot.

    And is infested by termites.

    Filthy Irish slutbag.

    ReplyDelete
  23. S.I.D.8:13 PM, June 09, 2007

    Termites???

    In Ireland???

    Nahhhhhhh!

    You only get those in backward countries.

    ReplyDelete
  24. The Mistress8:44 PM, June 09, 2007

    Backwards countries?

    Like Barnsley?

    ReplyDelete
  25. Divian12:26 AM, June 10, 2007

    I need medication...but it aint for pms.

    More like I need "I hate the worl" pills.

    Yes, that would make it better.

    I think.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous2:46 AM, June 10, 2007

    PMS.....I think you're having us on!

    Surely a woman of your age has left the world of menstruation behind a long time ago - those bottles are just your HRT pills, you poor old love.

    Mr Waring - she probably does have to shave every couple of days, although I can imagine it's a common sight in her house seeing her walk around in the mornings with Veet hair removal cream all over her chin and top lip!

    ReplyDelete
  27. The Mistress3:12 AM, June 10, 2007

    AWA: How can you hate the world when you have US?!

    STEVE: You can borrow my Veet for the tranny compo (see Sunday's posting) although you'll have stiff competition from some of the other girlie boys who frequent Infomaniac.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous12:43 PM, June 10, 2007

    You have any veet left over after veet'ing your nipples?

    ReplyDelete
  29. The Mistress1:03 PM, June 10, 2007

    PIGGY: Not a drop to spare after Veeting SID's big arse.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Romeo Morningwood5:33 PM, June 11, 2007

    Do you have any Rich Pills?

    It has been said that PMS is THE worst three weeks of every month!

    ReplyDelete

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