Wednesday, May 09, 2007

The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Have Been Drinking

Thanks a lot, bitches. Couldn’t you have snatched that bottle away from me?

The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts have passed out!

Coming Soon: ‘The Definitive History of The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts’ followed by ‘The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition’.

In the meantime, hangover cures, anyone?


  1. Yay! First!


    *still laughing at the incredibly poor taste in shoes*

    *and the varicose vein*

  2. The way you have your legs..interesting...not the usual "V" shape I'm used to seeing.


    "Jameson Bottle Insertion Techniques #2...."The Side."


  3. "It's not dead... It's sleeping!"

  4. With a hangover I moan a lot (it works for me)
    here are some more ideas!

  5. hangover cures should always include OJ and pancakes with lots of syrup. It's hard to miss your mouth even at your bleariest. You could also have some of the dog that bit ya and add vodka to the OJ.

  6. M&J (Piggy): I’m having the last laff as I’ve seen your incredibly poor taste not just in shoes but in clothing in general. For a poof, you seem to mislaid your fashion gene.

    SID: Speaking of insertions, did you ever get that carrot removed before it rotted?

    SPIKEY: Last time I checked it still had a pulse.

    TONY: Should I use the Irish Catholic moan (“forgive me”) or the Jewish moan (“No. No.”) or the WASP moan (no sound)?

    SHELLEY: Welcome to Infomaniac! You’re from WW and HE's stable, aren’t you? Decided to come slumming? You’re invited back despite inferring that I have a big gob.

  7. Not interested then, sorry.

  8. I would have removed the bottle, but it was too close to your snatch for me to snatch it away.

    I might have caught something.

    Or been eaten alive.

  9. SPIKEY: Are zombies too animated for you?

    IVF: Don't worry about being eaten alive. I don't like the taste of Twinkies.

  10. What, just the one varicose vein, and no cellulite? Was this heavily photoshopped?

    *Betty, apoplectic with rage and jealousy*

  11. BETTY: The pic wasn't photoshopped except to tint it to give it that seventies home porno look.

    So far, I have no cellulite OR varicose veins but if it makes you feel better, my knees are scraped and raw.

  12. Nice legs.

    Shame about the shorts.

  13. you are having entirely too much fun with these shorts.
    i think you need to go look up
    'paraphilia', dear.

  14. The Polish Moan "More Vodka"!!!!!{Hair-of-the-dog & all that stuff..........}

  15. snortin coke ....

  16. TICKERS: My legs don’t compare to yours in the hiking boots but thanks anyway.

    FN: You should see what goes on behind closed doors.

    SID: Psychiatrist? Says the man with the rotting carrot up his backside.

    TONY: I keep my vodka in the freezer. It doubles as an icepack on these occasions.

    MUTLEY: Snortin’ coke … off The Shorts. The white lines show up nicely on that green background.

  17. "She's got legs, she knows how to use them..."

    I knew those lyrics would come in handy one day! Good ol' ZZ Top.


  18. If you pished the shorts, I don't want them. Believe it or not.

  19. CHELLY: *shocked that Chelly's quoting ZZ Top*

    You're full of surprises, aren't you?

    EDDIE: No, I did not pish the shorts and no, I don't believe you.

  20. Wow, fishnet stockings, bad taste in shoes, and freakin' green elf shorts.

    Please don't be topless in the final cut. This mix is bad enough already.

  21. where did you hide the bottle?

  22. Nice legs and stockings but those heels could kill and maim...

  23. Nice gams my dear.

    Those heels rock. I leave for a bit and miss out on all the fun.

    *kicks self in neck*

  24. AWA!: We miss you Awahhhhhh.

  25. I am so ordering dialup for my mom. This outdated dial up is over.

    I missa you too, MJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!