Tuesday, February 01, 2022

The Food Network and HGTV and Thee

HGTV (Home and Garden Television) helps you transform your home with inspiration for interior design, home decor, landscape design, remodeling and entertaining ideas while the Food Network connects viewers to the joy of food.

Now, imagine that HGTV and the Food Network are looking for fresh ideas for new shows.

Now, suppose that you have complete control over creating new content for HGTV or the Food Network. What would be the premise of your TV show?

31 comments:

  1. I'll be back later, I must do my due diligence.

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    1. NORMA: We don’t want another litigation case on our hands such as the one involving the Infomaniac House of Beauty.

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  2. Edible Furniture with Gemma Collins? It could be shown on either channel. Jx

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    1. JON: As long as it’s not “Gemma Collins’ Designer Vagina.”

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  3. Home improvement by sledge-the-hammer ?

    Gardening with Vlad - your tank is yer friend ?

    What would the polka dot lady do ?

    Chequered tiles - pest of the XXth century ?

    Dining with despots - interior design at its best, gardening with the champs !

    From kitchen table to toilet planter - grow it with FN !

    Ach, zapytay Bolka I Lolka ...

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    1. MAGO: You, sir, should be running your own network.

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  4. Don't ask questions for which you may be sorry for what my answer may be.

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    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: You could build a show around your new Shorts.

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    2. The correct way to "pop" a "tent". As we know no glamping trip is complete without a May pole.

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    1. We make a game of it up here in Canada, specifically in Vancouver, called "Crack House or Mansion?" We are presented with a series of photos of run-down houses and have to guess whether it's a crack house or a mansion. Because the cost of even a run-down house in Vancouver is so outrageously expensive, it's hard to guess.

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  6. I would like a spy show called Little Brother where we watch how three households use their homes - how much cleaning they do they do? How often do they change duvet covers, and how often to they wipe surfaces?
    Whilst the spying is going on the households are also set a challenge - they are given flat-pack furniture pieces from which they have to build two items of furniture with no instructions or illustrations.
    As an incentive to go on the show there is a prize of £300 and a Kylie saucepan set, for the household that builds the best furniture. And washes their duvet covers the most.
    Sx

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    1. Oh, I would nail this challenge! I'm a Certified Technical Writer, Darling! I get paid to obscure instruction manuals. If I fuck it up someone could die and/or cost my employer millions in lawsuits.

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  7. Brilliant, Miss Scarlet! However, the contestants would all go completely mental from trying to build the flat-pack furniture without instructions. Oh wait. I'm speaking for myself.

    Beast would immediately be eliminated because he never washes his stinky duvet.

    I would watch this.

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  8. The Clubfoot Cuntessa

    Diabetic Ina Garten, having lost a foot to the disease, continues to clomp around her Hamptons compound, remodeling to accommodate her new challenge.

    Rough chops abound.

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    1. NORMA: I love it!

      Let's consider this premise for an episode: Ina Garten meets up with that other diabetic food personality, Paula Deen. You may recall that Deen's show was replaced by Garten's show. A slap fest ensues.

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    2. YES! And get Paula's boys & Jeffrey in the mix!

      (BTW, I have no idea if Ina is sick or not. I was using Aaron Sorkin's defense when he was recently defending Being the Ricardo's in that as soon as you write "FADE IN" on a piece of paper, reality's out the window!)

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    3. Oh, yes, the Dean Brothers! And since Paula now has six grandchildren, including triplets, we can carry your show through generations. You'll be a rich woman, Norma!

      By some amazing coincidence, today is Ina Garten's 74th birthday.

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    4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. I put the word CLOMP in between < and > and it's ignored.

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    1. Let's hope that someone got Ina some soft sole moccasins for her birthday.

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  10. Doing Up A Frump, I haven't thought of a format yet, however, people taking part must sign a waiver giving up any rights to pursue legal action, if anything should go
    wrong, which is highly likely as it will involve DIY cosmetic procedures.

    I'll Be Tanned with Esme Young and Dr Nowzaradan. On My 600lb Life we often see Dr Nowzaradan removing excess skin from his patients, I've often wondered what happens to that excess skin once it has been removed, it seems such a waste just to burn it when it could be tanned and turned into jackets, shoes and handbags.

    Do you have Naked Attraction in Canada?

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    1. MITZI: If a show like Naked Attraction can become a hit, then I'll Be Tanned has success written all over it.

      The Mistress’s head houseboy stumbled upon Naked Attraction on telly and called out, There’s something you HAVE to see! I could not and still cannot believe it. Bitches, you heard that right. I cannot believe this show exists. I can’t believe it!

      Bitches, here’s the premise…

      It’s a dating game. Without clothing. Potential love interests are introduced, by gradually revealing their naked bodies... Then the contestants must choose a partner based on their first impressions.

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  11. I was hoping to see a Canadian version so see what was on offer. The programme was brought to my attention whilst watching an episode of Gogglebox, I couldn't believe Judith, the 57 year old church goer who likes toes up her fanny and played a rousing rendition of The Lord Is My Shepherd on the organ.

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    1. Mitzi, you'll wait a long time before there's a Canadian version. It's too cold for us to disrobe, for one thing.

      I just watched a clip of Judith on "Naked Attraction." Of course CAKE was involved. I might never be able to eat clotted cream again.

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  12. I would do a Fairy Tales themed show. Make a witch's house from Hansel & Gretal. Random draw to decorate a house made of brick, stick and straw from The Three Little Pigs. Host a Little Mermaid themed luncheon complete with decorations and food.

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    1. ProximaBlue: I’m reminded of a Three Little Pigs Disney cartoon from 1933. The pig in the brick house had framed pictures of his parents on his wall. His mother is shown as a disgruntled looking sow with her piglets while his father is shown in one picture as a link of sausages and in another picture as a ham hock.

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    2. Hahaha and here I thought Disney was bleaching out all the darkness from the Fairytales he was stealing!

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